Growth can be annoying. It is uncomfortable. People don't like to be uncomfortable. But without that struggle they can become fixed and rigid. Many conflicts are born from people who have either temporarily or permanently lost their flexibility. Inflexible people become positional and become used to, or comfortable in the position they pick. They may forget that they began a project with a group Shared Interest. They become fixed in their thinking and now they have a new goal, a new agenda: themselves . Inflexible people take a deeper positional stance and their opinion, rather than being a place for discussion, creativity or group brainstorming, becomes a Personal Holy Grail. They fear losing ground or territory and feel compelled to fight and to defend their place. They begin to see their only choices as Fight or Flight. Standing Ground is tough work.
An effective manager must discover why an inflexible person has become positional in a conflict situation. If the inflexibility is situational, the manager may assist them in restoring or remembering the original goal, thus reclaiming flexibility. The manager must assist them in refocusing on the original Shared Interest.
Flexible people are less likely to develop into Emotional Terrorists. Inflexibility is often triggered by a perception of fear or loss of control. Helping get inflexible people back on a safe track into shared interests can restore their faith and hope, limit potential isolation, and be a first step in successfully resolving rising tensions, conflicts and disputes. It moves people away from fear and back into faith. Good faith resolutions are the product of moving away from rigid positions toward shared interests and goals.
Kathleen had been with the company for 23 years . She was not growing any more and was getting stuck in her positions. She had a difficult time adjusting to the high-speed tensions of her staff which consisted of eight younger women. Half of the young women were from one ethnic group and the other half represented a different ethnic group. Kathleen had refused diversity training, thinking she didn't have a problem with "those other people, except that they sure didn't work as hard as the other girls." Not only was she insensitive to differences, she forgot why she was there in the first place and had begun to mismanage her additional role of protecting the perception of her organization in the community. She stated that she "had been doing this for 23 years and didn't need any more training, it was these young girls who need the training." She clearly showed favoritism to her ethnic group and was also not particularly sensitive to the agendas of young, working women. The entire department she managed was turning against her and she had no idea that she was at risk of being replaced . Her supervisor asked her if she was willing to learn some new skills. She balked at the idea of additional training because she was fixed in her belief that "they" were the problem, not her. Getting her to bend and flex took a lot of management time. Fortunately, she was given the time and opportunity to reclaim the Shared Interest Mission of her organization. She was a valuable employee with an excellent background. The challenge was that her good performance record had isolated her and she had lost touch with the growth of the industry. Because her supervisor was able to see the bigger picture, the entire issue slowly began to dissolve into a neutral event as the positions were honored and the shared interests were rekindled for all employees.