If I Had a Hammer . . .

Motivational and behavioral theorist Abraham Maslow is quoted as saying, “If the only tool you have is a hammer, you will see every problem as a nail.” People are so unique, so varied, and so dissimilar that when you attempt to deal with all exasperating, childish, fussy, arrogant, irritating behavior in the same way, you are trying to change a spark plug with a hammer. There are thousands of problems and conflicts in the workplace, and there are thousands of tools and skills that can be used to resolve them.

The most effective way to work successfully with a difficult or irritating coworker is to first clarify the behavior, understand why it irritates you, use whatever degree of truth exists in your coworker’s comments (the lesson), and use the most appropriate tools for responding to the behavior in a constructive way.

Guess what—all communication is imperfect! Like great leaders, you need to learn to adapt your communication to the receiver, improve your language and listening skills, question your assumptions and preconceptions, and relax. When you do, you will find that you are much more in control of your career and your life.