Chapter 8. Modern Problems Dealing with Image Problems

I'll admit it. I was totally stuck for a name for this chapter. I got so desperate I asked my wife and son if they could think of any song titles or TV or movie titles that had the words "image," "dealing," or "problems" in them. They had as much success as I did. My wife got so desperate that she actually called my mother-in-law (she calls her "Mom," go figure) to ask her for ideas (this falls under the category of "book research," and therefore becomes billable hours to my publisher). Anyway, my mother-in-law came up with the movie Modern Problems, which at first she said starred Queen Latifah and Chevy Chase. So I said, "Does she mean Queen Latifah and Steve Martin?" She said, "No, it's Chevy Chase." But when she told us the basic plot, we soon realized that there was no way Queen Latifah was in that movie. Although her explanation of the plot sounded somewhat familiar, we still aren't sure who played opposite Chevy Chase, but she swears the name of the movie was either Modern Problems or Caddyshack. Anyway, this chapter on dealing with image problems is about how to deal with image problems. See, this chapter didn't even need a chapter intro, but I know some of you have stuck it out with me, through mindless intro after mindless intro, and if you thought I'd take the easy way out and just leave two blank pages here, well, you just don't know me. I care, dammit. I care so deeply that when every ounce of care is drained out of me, I somehow reach down deep inside myself and pull out just a little more care. Why? Because I care. Why do I care? Because I'm a Care Bear. (Can you tell it's 1:45 a.m. when I'm writing this?)