Interlude: Haiku Error Messages

In 1998, the excellent online magazine Salon ( published the results of a competition that asked readers to write Windows error messages in the form of haikus. A haiku is a form of Japanese poetry where the poem must be three lines only. The first line must have five syllables, the second line seven syllables, and the third line five syllables. Within this strict framework, a haiku poem is usually a little gem of philosophy. With the kind permission of Salon magazine, here are some of the haiku poems that Salon readers produced. The world would be more entertaining if developers were as creative as this in designing their error messages.

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
”David Liszewski

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that.
”Margaret Segall

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
”David Dixon

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
”Cass Whittington

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
”Francis Heaney

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
”Suzie Wagner

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
”Mike Hagler

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully.
”Simon Firth

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
”Howard Korder

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
”Peter Rothman

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
”James Lopez

Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed .
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
”David Carlson

I'm sorry, there's ”um ”
insufficient ”what's-it-called?
The term eludes me
”Owen Matthews

The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.
”Barry Brumitt

Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?
”Pat Davis

Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.
”Charlie Gibbs

Server's poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.
”Rik Jespersen

There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge.
”Rahul Sonnad

No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?
”Jim Griffith

Hal, open the file
Hal, open the damn file, Hal
open the, please Hal.
”Jennifer Jo Lane

I ate your Web page.
Forgive me.
It was juicy and tart on my tongue.

Comprehensive VB .NET Debugging
Comprehensive VB .NET Debugging
ISBN: 1590590503
EAN: 2147483647
Year: 2003
Pages: 160
Authors: Mark Pearce © 2008-2017.
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