In 1998, the excellent online magazine Salon (http://www.salon.com) published the results of a competition that asked readers to write Windows error messages in the form of haikus. A haiku is a form of Japanese poetry where the poem must be three lines only. The first line must have five syllables, the second line seven syllables, and the third line five syllables. Within this strict framework, a haiku poem is usually a little gem of philosophy. With the kind permission of Salon magazine, here are some of the haiku poems that Salon readers produced. The world would be more entertaining if developers were as creative as this in designing their error messages.
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
”David LiszewskiYesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that.
”Margaret SegallThree things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
”David DixonYou step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
”Cass WhittingtonOut of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
”Francis HeaneyChaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
”Suzie WagnerABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
”Mike HaglerFirst snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully.
”Simon FirthWith searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
”Howard KorderWindows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
”Peter RothmanA crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
”James LopezEverything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed .
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
”David CarlsonI'm sorry, there's ”um ”
insufficient ”what's-it-called?
The term eludes me
”Owen MatthewsThe code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.
”Barry BrumittPrinter not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?
”Pat DavisErrors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.
”Charlie GibbsServer's poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.
”Rik JespersenThere is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge.
”Rahul SonnadNo keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?
”Jim GriffithHal, open the file
Hal, open the damn file, Hal
open the, please Hal.
”Jennifer Jo LaneI ate your Web page.
Forgive me.
It was juicy and tart on my tongue.
”Anonymous