hacking the opposite sex

be forewarned, geeks are lonely. with that in mind, i can't really be viewed as an authority figure on the subject, however there are a few points which can be made regardless. the best advice i can give is to keep working on that sex-bot. i guess the question is, "what does a geek have to offer?"

good qualities:

  • free 24-hour tech support.

  • geeks have a hard enough time finding a partner that you can pretty much guarantee they're not going to run away.

  • geeks are usually more attracted to cartoon or 3d digital characters than they are the real thing, which reduces the odds that they will cheat on you even more (unless of course they do ever finish that sex-bot).

  • it's not hard at all to get a geek to fall in love with you. just look at them; that'll do it.

bad qualities:

  • it may be hard to actually find a geek, considering they rarely ever leave the house.

  • computers come first; you come second.

  • no social skills, at all, whatsoever, none, which can lead to a few pretty fruity characters.

  • wanna see a geek throw a temper tantrum? abuse their equipment; just smack the monitor or something.

…grow up…

sometimes when a geek is dating they'll refer to their partner as "in beta." when they start naming their kids version 2.0, it's a match made in heaven.

one thing that is really agitating about geek relationships is when rather than spending time w/each other in person, they'll remotely connect to one another's computer. now they're both fighting for control over the desktop, and for control over instant messages causing the person they're speaking to to receive half garbled text. this my friends is the geek equivalent of being all smoochy coochy in public. it's right up there w/being engaged to someone overseas that you've never met, with webcam dates and making each other anniversary presents.

cheesy pick up lines with hidden meanings are always a plus. "you want me to zip that up for you?" hints towards a zip file, which is a compressed package of one or more miscellaneous files that makes them easier to transfer electronically (because of the smaller size). "i'd like to defrag your hard drive" is another, where defragmenting is the process of reorganizing data on the hard drive to improve performance. a friend might ask "so, did you penetrate the firewall?" where a firewall is a security filter, allowing good things in and keeping bad things out. or maybe geeks are just perverted: "i need a stroke" where stroke is more or less another way of saying "outline" in an image editor. a common pickup line in an online chat room is when somebody types asl (age/sex/location); of course, don't ever type that because it's reserved for old perverts.

if a geek ever wanted to break up with someone, that's easy, they just take their partner to a lan (local area network) party, which is where a bunch of geeks get together and hook up their computers to play video games and swap files for days at a time. it may sound like fun, but when you're the only one there without a computer you'll soon be re-thinking your life with the one that brought you. everybody knows what it means when somebody brings their significant other and they don't have a machine; it works every time.

it is extremely easy to shop for a geek; just about anything from www.thinkgeek.com would be sure to get a smile. they are not extremely picky people, plenty of good qualities, but yet they mysteriously remain single. overall, you might as well take a vow of celibacy because the thought of a geek in a relationship, although not impossible, is like trying to explain the concept of physical attraction to a bushman.

Tapeworm - 1337 Hax or Handbook
Tapeworm - 1337 Hax or Handbook
Year: 2005
Pages: 74

flylib.com © 2008-2017.
If you may any questions please contact us: flylib@qtcs.net