Victims Generalize

The tendency of victims to move from facts to generalizations is often part of the blame- deflection process. In these cases a fact that appears to insinuate them gets attributed to some other person or group of people who, the victim is eager to point out, is ˜˜always at fault. Then the victim refers to that recurring fault as frustrating.

There are two types of victim behavior, both of which usually employ generalizations. In one type of victim behavior, people say the equivalent of ˜˜its not my fault. In this case, as in the previous example, responsibility for misfortune is deflected to someone else. Generalizations are sometimes added, in some cases to support the defense, as in ˜˜we always do it that way, and in others to explain the frustration that is felt, as in ˜˜you always do that. Probably half of all victim responses are of the ˜˜its not my fault type.

In the other type of victim behavior, the ˜˜woe is me response is used, in an effort to communicate that specific bad things have seemingly conspired to make a situation very difficult. ˜˜So no wonder this has happened . This response allows a little blame in but manages to keep most of it out by soliciting the compassion of the other party. For example, when the service adviser who dealt with my wife began to say that he was short one mechanic all morning, he was saying, ˜˜You cant really blame me, maam. A generalized view of the morning will show you that I am free of blame.