Turning the Blame Game into Problem Solving

When it comes to helping teams that are experiencing unproductive conflict, the key is to help reduce the amount of time members spend playing the blame game. Members often waste considerable time trying to pinpoint who is at fault and determining who is "one up" on whom. Sometimes they point the finger directly, but often they are more subtle. In either case, they play games that are not helpful if the goal is honest and direct communication. Beware people who unconsciously play the role of prosecutor, victim, or rescuer to manipulate people during the blame game. It's legitimate to set limits on behavior and to enforce the rules much like a prosecutor would. However, if it's done solely for the purpose of making people act in accordance with personal desires and not the agreed-upon rules of the team, it is a form of power play. Guilt can be a powerful force, but it is not a recommended tool for producing compliant behavior. And it is not just the prosecutors who try to make others feel guilty. Victims often have a legitimate beef about wrongful treatment. But eliciting guilt from others is unlikely to produce effective team relationships. And rescuers sometimes keep others dependent rather than truly being helpful, as demonstrated in the following dialogue.

Team member as prosecutor: "You know I hate doing this job, and here you have assigned me to it again."

Team leader as victim: "I never do anything right as far as you are concerned ."

Area manager as rescuer to the team leader and prosecutor to the member: "Hey, you elected your team leader and gave her the power to make job assignments, so quit trying to undermine her authority."

Team member as victim: "They tell me to be honest and open . They tell me this team concept will empower me, but here I am, still stuck with the crap work again."

Team leader after the area manager has left and now acting as rescuer: "Now don't tell the boss, but I will find a way that you won't have to do that task at least for the next couple of weeks."

Team leader talking with the area manager later that day and now acting as prosecutor: "I appreciate your trying to help me be the leader, but I don't want the kind of help that makes me look like a management suck-up to my teammates. Plus, I bet my teammates are over there feeling even more anti-management than before."

Area manager now as victim: "Gee, I was only trying to help, and now you kick me when I supported you."

Team member now as rescuer and overhearing this conversation: "Hey Sally [team leader], leave him alone. He was only trying to do his job."

Does this dialogue sound familiar? Things get tricky in the real world. As leader, you need to remind people that straightforward communication is essential. You occasionally have to take a risk and give constructive feedback to someone playing games. Your ability to give constructive feedback and to engage people in systematic problem solving is key in reducing the use of the blame game on your team. Your theme needs to be, "Let's move on to figuring out what the problem is, not who is at fault."

In the language of the 4-A Plus 2 problem-solving model, this chapter has so far attempted to raise your awareness of the problematic conflict that may occur within and between the teams you are trying to help and provided an analysis of the causes of such conflicts. Before we explore the many alternatives for how to address these sources of unproductive conflict, use exercise 25 to brainstorm a list of situations you might want to help address. Treat the remaining portions of this chapter as a toolbox and select the alternatives and actions you think might be useful for your teams. Later assess whether these tools have resolved the causes of the conflicts identified and express appreciation to those who helped you achieve the results.