The Unspoken Gap Analysis

When we judge, an unspoken gap analysis is going on. For example, we compare the present with some desired state. The gap between these two depicts how much work we have to do to make things right. The interesting thing is where the defined desired state comes from.

Throughout our lives we are building some image in our mind of the way we think things ought to be. Our parents set these standards. So do our teachers , our friends , our religions, our employers , and the media. Think of a young person coming home from school after learning from his peers what ˜˜cool means. In the morning, he had left home with no idea that cool people wear certain running shoes. By evening, he is making the pronouncement that anybody who doesnt wear those shoes is simply not cool.

All of us have an image of how the world ought to be. And we are constantly comparing that image with whats in front of us. And we judge accordingly . Many of our gap analyses are in reverse. We want a gap. We know where we dont want to be and we determine that this is pretty much where we are, so we judge the situation undesirable.

There is an upside to generalizations . They do help us. Personally, I dont lean on stove tops. Its just a thing of mine. When I was a kid, I leaned on a stove top and was burned. From that point on, well, Ive been prejudiced about all stove tops. If theres a stove top, I dont lean. Simple. My rule about stove tops saves me time, trouble, and the possibility of being burned by one. The key to generalizing is that we have to be careful so that we avoid hurting somebodys feelings or forfeiting an unknown opportunity for fear of the risk involved.