But there is another option available to us. It has profound implications concerning human happiness and productivity. It is possible, through awareness of these motivations, to make different choices. Instead of judging , you can be nonjudgmental. This would reap huge rewards for you. Others would feel more validated and you would experience less fear, anxiety, and frustration. Instead of getting lost in your angst, you can embrace it as part of your reality. This would alleviate stress, reduce the struggle to fight it and compensate for it, and thereby buy time and contentment. Instead of being fearful, you can relax your need to control, be less blame oriented, and worry less.
This is not hypothetical. People who work at the problems we have been discussing end up experiencing the benefits just described. At a personal level they report a greater sense of empowerment. They are less riddled by negative emotions. They have improved relationships. They are flagged as being of high value in their organizations. They generally go further in their careers.
In a sense, these changes make a person more down to earth. Rather than generalizing, you can stay focused on the facts. Rather than blaming, you can focus on the present and the future. Rather than hiding your vulnerability, you can expose it, knowing that facts are facts and you are okay with the facts about you. You have nothing to hide. Rather than seeking attention, you can seek task fulfillment and personal fulfillment in the process. Rather than seeking control because of the false sense of satisfaction that it offers, you can get more done by empowering others. More broadly, rather than attending to how facts can be interpreted based on their possible impact on your security, you can just focus on the facts.