HOW PEOPLE RESPOND TO GETTING HELP

Healthy employees are eager to find ways to make their lives easier. Regular people like assistance. Healthy people may fuss a bit because they perceive themselves as competent and want that acknowledgment from others. But again, healthy people adjust quickly. Dysfunctional people and those with pathology have a different response to needing or receiving help. They resist. Resistance is interesting .

Resistance usually indicates you have bumped up against something that creates some kind of a threat, real or perceived. People who resist opportunities to work easier and feel better are giving managers a sign that something is in the way of good and healthy responses. Resistance is a very important clue to a manager.

Here is one way to look at resistance. An ill patient comes to a doctor with symptoms and the physician diagnoses the disease and prescribes antibiotics. Most patients are interested in taking the medications if they are truly interested in health. What kind of a patient would resist the medicine? Resistance suggests sabotage , fear, or a need to control something. When patients are noncompliant about medical treatments that are simple and meant to help, and then return to the doctor complaining that "things are not better," the clinician has to take time to explore the resistance. If the patient wants a second opinion, that is not resistance ” that is research. Resistance is a stronger process. Resistance is a force that is used to control something.

Managers bump into resistance when they offer up solutions, plans, and ideas to keep things rolling along productively and seem to hit a wall. When managers hit a wall of resistance they should take note that they have bumped into some sort of threat. Don't immediately take it personally . Stop and think, and slow the process down a little. If you resist the resistance, you will create conflict and possible spinning. Before you try to "fix" the apparent problem, first evaluate where the threat originates. The threatened person may try to suggest it is you or your idea. This is not usually the case. Someone who is not threatened can simply say, "no." Someone threatened will resist and create force to control a fear of a boundary not being respected. Managers need to respect the boundary that is created by a resistance, evaluate it, and see if what they are proposing is appropriate, necessary, and negotiable. Perhaps you can tweak your idea slightly to remove a threat. But that is a discussion that will come after you step away from the resistance.

Generally, healthy people appreciate a policy that manages emotions in the workplace because they have been interrupted by emotions and are annoyed by emotional disruption and disturbance. They welcome procedures that help everyone. Unhealthy people resist Emotional Continuity Management plans, policies or procedures because they feel the need to protect themselves from some real or perceived threat.

Responses to Emotional Continuity Management Plans

	THUMBNAIL SKETCH	RESPONSE TO ECMP
HEALTHY	Salt of the earth, fun, pleasant, groomed, inclusive, engaged with life, open, thoughtful, manage their emotions well, are open with feelings, positive and negative, are compassionate, reasonable, fairly consistent over time, have a life.	Looks forward to growth and development. May have some concerns about time involved or group commitment, but eager to see the results of more clarity and definitions of policies. No resistance.
DYSFUNCTIONAL	May be open to growth with some minor fears to larger fears, naive, young or old, has not been given the correct information, for some reason is in a weakened state, vulnerable to suggestions and influences, subject to emotional swings, able to be coerced by a stronger influences, positive or negative. Emotions are more central, may be hard worker with limited skills and options, differing levels of willingness to be taught.	Have the potential to be remediated, trained, informed and educated . May value or fear growth and development. Minor resistance.
PATHOLOGICA	Has an agenda and a mission, willing to destroy people, places and things to protect themselves or their personal beliefs and agendas , even when masked as the "greater good." May be using individuals or the entire system for their agenda or as a legitimate cover, may target others who appear to threaten their agenda. Emotions may be central or invisible.	May resist remediation . May escalate their efforts, go underground , or leave. Emotional escalation is traceable to them and therefore easy to remedy, more difficult if they go underground or covert. Once underground they may be at risk for participating in sabotage, selling proprietary information, or other ethical violations. Early identification of these employees protects all concerned . Major resistance, either passively or aggressively, either overtly or covertly.