Section 16: Limit the Encroachment of Work on Your Personal Life

Overview

I finally landed the perfect leadership job. I was building a new organization, working on important issues, and making a difference in the company. Unfortunately, the job came with a price. It consumed my every waking moment. With laptop PC, cell phone, and pager, I felt like every minute was at the demand of others.

The feeling of being indispensable was exhilarating for the first year. Then, it started to wear thin. I tried to limit the time I spent on work tasks during weekends, but on Monday mornings I felt like things were that much more difficult.

I knew I was in trouble when I awakened, shaken and sweating, at 3 a.m. on a Sunday morning worrying about work.

I realized I had created this monster through my own behavior. I had only two choices: either re-create my current job so I could live with it, or leave the job.

It is incredibly important to establish your personal limits. Most salaried jobs in the United States have no protection against working a huge number of hours, and most companies would be very happy to get as much work from each employee as possible. Despite this being short-term thinking, that is how corporations measure their success. You need to look out for your long term.

Don’t think it’s just the number of hours worked. Some people are happy working 80-hour weeks, others with 20. Each of us are given different bodies, energy, and interests. You need to start by understanding who you are and what you have to work with. Next, you must establish a balance between giving to others and giving to yourself. You look for this balance point based on your different objectives, such as contributing to the world, your family environment, and even your own spiritual development.

Then, you can focus on managing your store of attention and energy. Fortunately, it is possible to replenish both. For some, it is going to the gym or reading every day. For others, it might be a lunch hour uninterrupted with work concerns. It might be the precious time with your kids between dinner and bedtime.

Whatever brings you physical and emotional energy, build it into your schedule and honor it as a top priority. Protect it. Nourish it. If you have to temporarily do without, then compensate for it before and after.

Yes, this might conflict with your job. That might mean you need to look for a new job, or negotiate to change your existing one so it will work around your personal priorities. In the end, if you give up your life and soul in exchange for a job, you will not be satisfied with the choice.

In the end, I ended up leaving that job, although I still work for the same company. The experience I got was invaluable, but I decided I’m not going to do that same kind of work again—it came at too high a personal price.

Instead, I’ve focused my energies on creating a job which nourishes my personal goals while delivering value to my employer, and on writing a book to help bring what I’ve learned to others in similar situations.