HOW TO MANAGE EMOTIONS

There is no universal standard to Emotional Continuity Management. The following list are guidelines and not rules. Start here, but create your own personal list!

• Calm thoughts create calm actions

  • You can handle this, you are a grown up and not a child. There will be a beginning, middle and end to this. incident.

• Picture it

  • Visualize a calm place where you feel safe. Do this for as long as possible before responding. Even five seconds of a calm image will help your brain respond with calming chemicals rather than anxiety chemicals. The brain is a pharmacy and you give it the prescription for anxiety or calm

• Breathe, Breathe, Breathe

  • Deep slow breaths through the nose and down to the belly. Release the breath slowly to the count of five. Begin again and repeat until settled.

• Do a Body Check-in

  • Are you sweating, chewing your lip, tapping your foot , pacing, breathing shallowly, and talking rapidly ?

• Pacing Exercises

  • Pace yourself with a walk, writing, drawing, a trip to the restroom or water cooler , a moment outdoors, stretching, or resting quietly alone for a few moments.

• Big Picture

  • Remember your big-picture mission and the fact that you decided to be a manager, so you are not a victim of this moment, it was and is a choice.

• Remember

  • Feelings matter mostly to the person having them. Honor this unless you are physically unsafe. If unsafe, call 911.

• Listen

  • People usually escalate their emotions when they believe they are not being heard . There is one theory that violence is simply extreme communication

• Calm voice

  • In a duress situation, do not use a fake calm voice. That behavior may be perceived as condescending and create more stress. It can also imply that there is some other "secret" information that you have that the others do not have. However, try to soften the edges of your voice tone and slightly decrease the volume to model calmness.

• Gestures

  • Move a bit more slowly, with less movement and gesturing. Some people read gestures as threats and may misinterpret your body as an attack.

• Know your Resources

  • Know your resources!

• Don't be Stupid or Bulletproof

  • Do not put yourself in an isolated, dangerous, unprotected , or risky situation or location.

• Postpone

  • It is very appropriate to postpone discussions when they get too hot or overwhelming. The trick to this is to state clearly your intention to continue and define the exact time that continuation can occur if both parties are open that time.

• "No" is Okay

  • Saying no is okay. Saying no twice is still okay. If you are forced to say no again to make your point, the situation is escalating.

• Take care

  • Do good self-care after an Emotional Continuity Management process.