Honoring Confidentiality

Donald, a senior executive in the western division of a national nonprofit organization, said that he would “walk through walls” for his boss if it weren’t for one thing—his boss can’t keep a secret. Donald had spent 16 months wooing a highly prized individual, Wade, from the California State Department and had designed a reorganization to leverage Wade’s significant relationships within the state in hopes of bolstering the nonprofit’s donations. People in the State Department were not going to be happy about losing Wade, and Donald committed to keeping the information confidential until an appropriate time. Donald reminded his boss about the importance of keeping everything under cover until all details were cemented.

Several weeks later, at a conference, Donald was having a conversation with another employee from the State Department who casually said, “I hear Wade is leaving us.” Donald swears that there was a twinkle in the man’s eye. If word had gotten out, Donald was certain the source of the leak was his boss, so he spoke with him again about the importance of keeping the information confidential. Again, a few weeks after the conversation, at another conference, a State Department employee crossed the room and said to Donald, “Hey, I heard Wade’s leaving us to join you.”

In both situations, Donald was forced to be as vague as possible in order to honor the confidentiality agreement.

Donald resented his boss for not respecting the commitment and felt that by not doing so, he was putting both Wade’s and Donald’s reputations in question. “He gets caught up in the glory of the moment, and he can’t contain himself,” Donald said. “Recruiting Wade was a huge coup, and my boss almost ruined it.”

As the cornerstone of many professions, such as doctors and lawyers, violating a code of confidentiality not only ruins a reputation but also could have serious legal repercussions. As an executive coach, my ability to maintain confidentiality is directly related to my success. I could have the best coaching skills in the country, but if I blab when I promised not to, I will lose business. Confidentiality is so important to people—especially in a business setting—that even appearing to not maintain it to the highest level can make others uncomfortable and put your integrity in question.

Mike Silvers, a branch manager for Disney’s Vista Federal Credit Union, which serves 60,000 members, used to answer calls to his cell phone while surrounded by employees in the lobby of his branch. Then he learned in a performance survey that his commitment to honor confidential information was in question.

“Many of the calls I receive are about sensitive issues, and when I’d answer these calls in the lobby, people became concerned that I wasn’t honoring confidentiality to the highest level,” Silvers said. “It didn’t happen often but enough to bother staff.” On receiving his employees’ feedback though a 360-degree assessment, Silvers immediately worked to correct the misperception by walking to a private area or to his office when he received a call on his cell phone.

When someone asks, “Can we keep this confidential?” they are asking you to “cross your heart and hope to die” that you will not utter a word about what is told. Do not take this promise lightly. A breach in confidentiality wipes out trust and can destroy a relationship. And recognize that expectations of confidentiality are sometimes unspoken. When someone shares personal or sensitive information with you, they might not say, “Please don’t tell anyone,” but it is likely their unsaid wish and expectation. Their willingness to share such information indicates they trust that you will respect their privacy and to not do so will seriously diminish the relationship.

Not honoring that trust is an unabashed broken promise that others may never overcome.

Although all personal and sensitive information probably-should be treated as confidential, if you are still in doubt, ask. It is better to get clarification with the person who shared the information with you than to take liberties and make assumptions.