Rule 9: Work is a Member of the Family

Overview

SNAPSHOT

Have you been able to balance professional goals with personal and family goals?

Yes: 42 percent

No: 58 percent

I asked a lot of top professionals whether they are good at balancing their work activities with their family and outside interests. Barrett A. Toan, CEO of the multibillion-dollar pharmacy software company Express Scripts, gave me a succinct answer that echoed the sentiments of many others: "Not particularly."

A startling number of the invincible executives I have known are single or have divorced. About 15 percent have spouses who live or work in a different city than they do; and these executives catch up with their families on weekends, holidays, and vacations. Those who have remained married for a long time usually have stay-at-home spouses who have decided that supporting their spouse's career is their career. Because traditions erode slowly and top executives tend to be in their fifties or sixties, the stay-at-home spouses tend to be the wives. However, that trend is changing as well. In my own experience, a friend of mine recently quit his law practice to stay at home with the kids because his wife's medical practice was taking off in a big way. In fact, homemaker husbands now run approximately one in six households.