PREPARING A LEADER FOR FEEDBACK

Feedback is the great mechanism of self-discovery. We take an action, watch its effects, and learn what works and what doesn’t. When we are young this mechanism operates brilliantly.

As we develop and form our self-image, we start screening out feedback that contradicts that image. Preserving our internal sense of self becomes more important than learning and growth. We also may develop an external image we work to maintain. For those who become public figures—CEOs, principals, commanding officers, managing partners, politi- cians—protecting this public image may seem most important. More screens go up and the only messages that penetrate are the ones that validate our image of ourselves.

There is little value in standing up and giving leaders feedback they cannot hear. The courageous follower’s role is to find ways leaders can receive the feedback they need. We can minimize defensiveness by prefacing our feedback with a defusing statement that conveys respect and reminds the leader of the value of honesty:

“You know how highly I think of your work, and I hope you won’t mind my speaking frankly.”

“You know that I respect what you are trying to do, and I’m sure you’d want me to be honest with you.”

Leaders are more apt to pay attention to feedback if we link it to outcomes they desire, to what motivates them. Is it promotion? Profits? Reelection? Reputation? We certainly hope the list includes the common purpose. By linking our feedback about a behavior or policy to its impact on what leaders value, their interest in the subject outweighs the impulse to defend their image:

“I think what you are doing will affect ___________ (what the leader values). May I give you my views?”

“I’d like to give you feedback on that. I think it’s important to what you’re trying to accomplish.”

Another way to defuse defensiveness is to share our own struggles with the same or similar issues. We can point out similarities between our situations as well as differences. This creates empathy and may help the leader talk about the subject.

“I understand what you’re up against as I had a similar experience with __________ .”

“I identify with your reaction because I have the same reaction when __________ .”

Giving a leader feedback about policies is usually easier than giving feedback about behavior, but not always. A leader may be completely wedded to a position that could have disastrous consequences. If a leader seems closed to hearing other viewpoints on an issue, we might approach the leader this way:

“I have several things to tell you that you may not want to hear, but this is why you need to hear them.”

Then state the reasons why the leader should listen, including the potential consequences to his own interests and to the common purpose.

Only give feedback on policies when you have the leader’s attention and he has a somewhat open mind.

Preparing a leader for feedback is the requisite to effectively giving that feedback.