Part One: Work on Me First--What to Do before a Crucial Confrontation

Chapter List

Chapter 1: Choose What and IfHow to Know What Crucial Confrontation to Hold and If You Should Hold It

Chapter 2: Master My StoriesHow to Get Your Head Right before Opening Your Mouth

When we approach a crucial confrontation its important to know that we must work on ourselves first. We cant go in determined to fix everyone else and expect to get the results were really after. We can only really ever change ourselves .

That being said, remember that crucial confrontations live and die on the words people choose and the way people deliver them. Those words, and particularly the way they are delivered, live and die on what people think before they open their mouths. No amount of preparation can save a confrontation if the person who brings up the failed promise isnt in the right frame of mind. Heres how those who master crucial confrontations make sure their thoughts are in order before they put their mouths in gear:

• They make sure they are confronting the right problems. (Chapter 1, Choose What and If ).

• They make sure that the thoughts rushing around in their headstheir facts, stories, and emotionshelp them see the other person as a person rather than a villain. They learn to control their strong emotions by revisiting the stories that caused them. (Chapter 2, Master My Stories).