2. Learn How to Communicate | How to Shine at Work

We enjoy—and communicate best with—people who are just like us. When you meet someone with a style that is similar to your own, you tend to be approachable, open, and comfortable, resulting in increased understanding, increased appreciation, and a stronger relationship. If a person interacts (consciously or unconsciously) in a style that is opposite to yours, you will tend to shut that person out.

Since the words you say represent only 7 percent of your communication style and the ways in which you say those words represent 93 percent of your communication style, it is important that you pay attention to the messages you send.

What Is Your Political Style?

One of the most powerful senses you can develop is a sense of self-awareness. Why? Because if you know yourself and your style better than your colleagues know you, you are in a position of strength. If you know yourself and your style, and you understand your colleagues and their styles better than they do, you are in control.

To understand your own political inclinations and to understand the political culture in your organization, take the Political Tendencies Assessment (Exhibit 4-1), and find your style from the following choices. Then locate the styles of your colleagues, paying particular attention to the descriptors.

Exhibit 4-1: Political Tendencies Assessment

Use this assessment to measure your own political inclinations, and to identify the political tendencies of those you work with. Choose the statement that most closely describes you—and remember that there is no winner or loser and no right or wrong—there is only what is.

This may be difficult; you may think some of these do not apply at all. Just choose the one that is most like you.

Being perceived within my organization as “right” is
1. Imperative
2. Important only if everyone agrees that I’m right
3. Important to me personally, but I’d never say so
4. Important only if the facts prove I’m right
I have
1. A forward-looking, aggressive, and competitive style
2. A people-focused, consensus approach to decision making
3. The ability to stay calm and controlled, even in chaos and turmoil
4. The ability to do tough and complicated assignments right the first time
I judge people based on
1. Their ability to get the job done quickly
2. Their warmth, influential contacts, and commitment
3. Their dependability and consistency
4. Both the quality and the quantity of the work they do
I influence others by
1. Competition, tenacity, and the strength of my character
2. Interpersonal skills, charisma, confidence, and diplomacy
3. Consistency, helping others, following through, and perseverance
4. Facts, accuracy, data, attention to detail, and strategy
When I’m stressed, I
1. Become impatient or demanding
2. Become even more enthusiastic and optimistic
3. Feel it on the inside, but don’t show it on the outside
4. Become critical (of myself and others)
My biggest fear at work is
1. Losing control
2. Not being liked
3. The unknown
4. High-risk decisions

Add your score:

________ A

________ B

________ C

________ D

Key: For this assessment, we will focus only on your core style, represented by the highest score.

More “A” answers: The Senator

More “B” answers: The Communications Director

More “C” answers: The Press Secretary

More “D” answers: The Journalist

If you are a Senator, your style may range from decisive and competitive to driving and demanding. In a political structure, your desire to win, be the first, be the best, lead, and challenge can come across as powerful—and sometimes as frightening to those around you. If you scored on the high end (5 or 6), be aware that you may have a reputation as a “political animal.” A Senator’s verbal communication style is direct, commanding, specific, and to the point. Senators think fast, speak fast, maintain eye contact while speaking, have a strong handshake, and will be strong, clear, confident, and direct when communicating. Their written communications will be short, and sometimes bullet-pointed; Senators prefer short memos to lengthy letters (incoming and outgoing). Senators do not like verbose explanations: Get to the point when speaking to such a person.

If you are a Communications Director, the way your style is observed by others may range from social and trusting to shallow and superficial. In a political structure, the more recognition you have, the better—you love the spotlight. Getting recognition is your goal, and you gain acceptance and approval, develop and maintain relationships, and deliver results by influencing others. If you scored on the high end (5 or 6) here, be aware that you may have a reputation as a “political phony.”

As a Communications Director, you are an emotional speaker, using expressive hand gestures, smiling, and personalizing your communications. You are energized, enthusiastic, persuasive, and friendly. You may use words like fun, exciting, or recognition in written communication, and you prefer written communication to the telephone. You may not listen very well, but, when you are listening, you have the ability to hear emotional tones in the conversation (“Stacy, you sound sad—is everything OK?”).

If you are a Press Secretary, you speak slowly, in a thoughtful, relaxed manner. The way your style is observed may range from stable and steady to indifferent and apathetic. Typically good listeners, Press Secretaries will do just about anything for the good of the team—and, since they often keep their feelings of frustration and anger to themselves, they can sometimes feel like victims of a political structure that is swirling around them. If you scored on the high end (5 or 6), be aware that you may have a reputation as “politically oblivious.”

Press Secretaries will not stand too close, and will often use small hand gestures with a speech pattern of warmth, calm, and steadiness. The Press Secretary will write clear, concise letters with excellent instructions or guidelines. A natural listener, the Press Secretary will try to hear and understand, will listen for ways to help the speaker, is most comfortable with harmony and sameness, is often resistant to change, and does not like to be rushed into decisions.

If you are a Journalist, you tend to ask questions rather than make statements, and you are slow and thoughtful in your speech, with limited hand gestures. The way your style is seen may range from accurate and systematic to perfectionist and critical. The Journalist likes to know and follow the rules, and where no rules exist, the Journalist makes them up. Journalistic style is alert and sensitive to what is going on around them, yet they are typically introverted, so they usually keep to themselves politically. If you scored on the high end (5 or 6), be aware that you may have a reputation as a “political dictator.”

The Journalist is controlled, reflective, direct, and precise. Best with written data, the Journalist will always have facts in logical order. The Journalist’s written communications will be precise and logical, with no room for error; as a listener, the Journalist will assess everything the speaker says. The Journalist’s facial expressions will reveal nothing about his or her reactions, and he or she may discard all information provided by the speaker if any fact is incorrect.

Whether you are a Senator or a Press Secretary, a Communications Director or a Journalist, communicating effectively is a primary component of personal competence. Daniel Goleman, author of Working with Emotional Intelligence, summarized the skills of people with personal competence in communication this way:

Is effective in give-and-take, and in reading emotional cues in creating and sending outgoing messages
Deals with difficult issues candidly and quickly
Listens well, seeks common understanding, and welcomes the sharing of information completely
Promotes open communication and remains receptive to the bad news as well as the good news

An effective communicator—one who is personally competent in the skill—knows what he or she is feeling and why, and how it looks to others. An effective communicator works to understand others, and takes responsibility not only for what is said, but also for how it is said. As you become personally competent in communicating, you will understand the impact that your decisions and actions have on other people, and you will balance your own needs against that impact.

Understanding the styles and motivations of others takes practice and patience, but it pays off.

Art, a sales executive for a high-tech firm, had been calling on Jason, a potential client, for several weeks. Art and Jason had worked out every possible alternative and option for the Web solution Jason’s company needed, yet Art could not get Jason to sign the contract to close the deal. When asked, Jason agreed that they had discussed all of the fine points, yet . . .

Art was anxious to get the contract signed for many reasons: This client represented a coup within his industry, the Web solutions they had created for Jason’s organization were cutting-edge and fun, and, of course, there was the fact that this contract would be the largest ever signed for Art’s company.

After coaching Art on style, we determined that Art was a blend of a Senator and a Communications Director—decisive, quick-thinking, social, influential, and optimistic.

We determined that Jason, on the other hand, was clearly a Press Secretary—wanting harmony, disliking change, and needing time to evaluate any risk.

Art decided to approach Jason from a “there is no risk here” position. He suggested that Jason take his time in considering the Web solutions they had worked out together. Within 48 hours, Jason contacted Art. The contract was signed, and Art’s commission was over $1 million.

Take the time to identify—not judge!—your style and the styles of your coworkers. Watch for the signs, signals, words, and actions that show you who others are style-wise. When you understand your own style and the style of your coworkers, you can communicate with anyone about anything.