Chapter 9: Watch Your Mouth

Overview

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain—and most fools do.

—Dale Carnegie

Ed, the sales manager for Ridgewood Properties, a $30 million real estate company, cursed and yelled at Frances, a member of the company’s cleaning staff, in front of prospective customers and current residents of an upscale retirement community. Apparently Frances had not cleaned one of the model homes quite to Ed’s liking, or he was just having a bad day—no one ever really knew the reason for Ed’s harsh words because it never mattered.

Russ Walden, retired chief executive officer (CEO) and former owner of Ridgewood Properties, had made it clear to his 200 employees that he believed in treating everyone with respect. Each member of the Ridgewood team was given a copy of “Russ Walden’s List of Thoughts on the Management Process,” an informal writing by Walden that made known his philosophies about how work should be played. The handout opened with “The personal dignity of each individual is inviolate. A manager who often breaks this rule will eventually self-destruct—but we will probably get him (or her) first.” By “dressing her down” in front of others, Ed, who had already been counseled for publicly criticizing people, had violated Frances’ personal dignity. Walden fired Ed the following morning. Ed could not believe that he was being fired for “cursing a cleaning girl.”

Walden admits that the decision to let Ed go cost the company. It had happened at the beginning of the sales cycle, a critical time in the real estate business “when all the good sales managers were taken,” so Ed would be hard to replace. In addition, Ed’s wife, a sales manager at another Ridgewood property, promptly left (as Walden knew she would) when Ed was terminated. Ridgewood was out two key people at a critical time. “It’s hard to say how much, but I know we lost money from that situation,” Walden told me. “But you have to do what’s right.”

In the long run, however, Walden’s reputation for showing-people respect turned out to be a winning business strategy. Afew months later Walden paid a visit to the new sales manager hired to replace Ed’s wife. While the manager gave a tour to an elderly couple considering a move to the Ridgewood retirement community, Walden chatted with their son, who said that he and his parents had narrowed their decision down to two retirement homes—both Ridgewood properties. The man’s mother really liked the property they were currently looking at, but, he said, she felt badly that the sales manager at the other Ridgewood property had spent a lot of time with them and would lose the sale. Walden told the man not to worry about it, that Ridgewood had a fair compensation plan for its employees. “We look after our people,” he said.

The son replied, “I already know that” and proceeded to tell Walden how he had heard from a friend the story about Ed getting fired. “I decided then that Ridgewood was for us,” he said. “I figured a company that cared that much for a cleaning lady would probably care a lot about my parents.”

Destructive comments come in many forms, including blame, gossip, criticism, sarcasm, inappropriate humor, and “us-versus-them” attitudes. They can pervade an organization and create a cynical, unsupportive culture. And these days, destructive comments abound. Disgruntled workers are whining regularly in Internet chat rooms and flocking to Web sites that cater to unhappy and angry employees.

Leadership that builds and maintains credibility requires transparent communication that shows the highest respect for people. Language that divides or is otherwise destructive can undermine the whole reasoning behind leadership transparency—to improve relationships, increase trust, and build a credible reputation. And leaders who avoid destructive comments have a much better chance at improving morale, strengthening teamwork, facilitating open communication, reducing turnover and absenteeism, and improving productivity.