Thrown Any Office Furniture Lately?

More than 60 years ago, my father rode a mine cart 2 miles underground 6 days a week to his 3-foot-high “room” where he would tap in his explosives, light the wire, and quickly crawl away, covering his ears as the blast unearthed coal. He was paid 72 cents a ton. And every time he emerged from the dark earth, he thanked God for letting him see the light of day one more time.

Stress is relative. One leader’s requirement to let go of a half-dozen employees just before Christmas might be the worst challenge he or she has ever met. Another leader who is forced to face angry shareholders over a failed merger may think my father’s coal mining days to be a walk in the park. But how well do leaders perform under the pressures inherent in any business? Of 2052 employees who participated in surveys, 68 percent said that their leaders could improve at working constructively under pressure, and 73 percent of those leaders’ bosses agreed.

In facing challenges large and small, emotions erupt. The best of leaders will experience anger, disgust, frustration, sadness, or fear at various points in their career. And yet the business world does not put out a welcome mat for emotions. Emotions are an integral part of personal relationships, but in the professional-world we are told to avoid them or at least approach them cautiously, as if tiptoeing up to a roped-off crime scene.

Rescued in part by best-selling author Daniel Goleman, some organizations have embraced his concept of “emotional intelligence” and are now talking about feelings at work, recognizing that emotions are part of our professional lives, too. Emotional competency—one’s EQ—is thought to be even more important than how smart you are when it comes to determining business success. Emotional intelligence— consisting of self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and social skills—is the active ingredient in outstanding leaders, according to Goleman’s research ( Emotional Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman, New York, Bantam Books, 1995).

Allison, an inside sales manager for a telecommunications company, was plugging along at work one rainy Monday. It was “one of those days” when lots of little problems add up to a big, bad day. Allison knew that her Monday was not going well, but she did not pause to think about how she could turn it around. In fact, she completely ignored her emotions, which intensified as she pounded ahead. At midday Allison decided to attack her list of phone messages that needed to be returned, but the office phone system was overloaded. She could not get an outside line. Every time she tried to dial a number, she would get a fast busy signal. Frustrated, Allison slammed down the phone, cursed it with an expletive, and slapped her hand on the desk. Several of her direct reports looked on in shock. When did Allison start feeling her emotions getting the best of her? Was there a point at which she could have diffused the increasing intensity?

Managing your composure requires you to have a high degree of self-awareness—recognizing your feelings as they emerge and how certain reactions to those feelings may affect others. Think of a particular emotion on a continuum ranging from a low level of feeling to a high level of feeling. Take anger as an example.

			ANGER
1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10
Low level of feeling						High level of feeling

Of course, some people never experience the “Anger” rating of 9 to 10. Some people just do not get that angry—it is not in their makeup. However, everyone feels anger at some level. And learning to express anger appropriately, especially when the intensity is in the 7 to 10 range, increases your composure rating. Allison, for example, probably was only experiencing anger in the 5 to 6 range, but given the day she was having, it got the best of her. Consequently, she lost her composure—all because she could not get an outside line to place a telephone call.

Building leadership credibility through composure is not about controlling your emotions, but rather, it is about controlling your reactions to emotions. However, high levels of emotion can overwhelm good judgment and reduce the possibility of a successful outcome. You must react to those feelings—even the good ones, such as elation and surprise—in a way that shows your emotional maturity. When voices raise, fingers point, eyes bulge, or tears spill, onlookers want to distance themselves. They lower their eyes, suddenly become engrossed in their work, or try to appear nonchalant as they gather up a few files and head out. Witnesses to frustration and anger usually experience a degree of discomfort and embarrassment. They may even pity the coworker or boss who loses control.

When asked whether their boss displays a high degree of composure or emotional maturity, more than 60 percent of 2118 executives said that improvement was in order, and 73 percent of those leaders’ bosses agreed.

And “losing it” is not an uncommon occurrence among leaders. When asked whether their boss displays a high degree of composure or emotional maturity, more than 60 percent of 2118 executives said that improvement was in order, and 73 percent of those leaders’ bosses agreed.

Many executives are surprised that composure is a significant factor in determining credibility. Indeed, its impact on a person’s reputation is often underestimated, and people seem to assume that others will understand what they are going through and forgive their weak moments. Yet our composure is measured every day by our peers, boss, customers, and direct reports as they interact with us and watch how we handle ourselves. And it is often with the less significant stressors—the everyday challenges and casual interactions—that we lose a high composure rating, the times when we might not realize we are on stage.