How Honest Are You, Really?

Using the following scale, rate each expectation of credible leaders in two ways:

How well do you think you are doing at meeting the expectation?

What might others think about how well you are meeting the expectation?

SCALE: 1 = significant improvement needed; 2 = slight improvement needed; 3 = skilled/competent; 4 = talented; 5 = outstanding: a role model

Expectation	How Do You Think You Are Doing?	What Might Others Think?
Communicates in a direct and straightforward manner.	1 2 3 4 5	1 2 3 4 5
Demonstrates honest and ethical behavior in all transactions.	1 2 3 4 5	1 2 3 4 5
Promotes truth telling within the organization through behaviors and expectations.	1 2 3 4 5	1 2 3 4 5
Tells the whole truth despite the consequences (i.e., avoids white lies).	1 2 3 4 5	1 2 3 4 5
Does not exaggerate, “spin,” or stretch the truth.	1 2 3 4 5	1 2 3 4 5
Tells the truth while maintaining tactfulness.	1 2 3 4 5	1 2 3 4 5
My Scores:

Scoring yourself: Add your total for each column. A single column score of 27 to 30 suggests that you are doing an exceptional job and meeting others’ expectations of someone who is overwhelmingly honest. A column score of 22 to 26 indicates that you have some areas for improvement; on issues important as these, I believe leaders should strive to be “ outstanding: a role model.” Below 22 indicates a danger area, and you may be chipping away at your credibility. A discrepancy of more than 7 points between the two column totals indicates a possible gap in perception worth investigating. If your “How do you think you are doing?” score is higher than your “What might others think?” score, your intentions may be better than your actions. If your “What might others think?” score is higher, you may not be giving yourself enough credit for a job well done.

How others perceive our level of honesty is ultimately hard to gauge without their actual input. The truth about how others perceive you may surprise you. In leadership assessments, over 50 percent of 13,000 peers and direct reports felt that their leaders could improve in being honest and ethical.

When leaders learn that others do not perceive them to be as honest as they themselves believe they are, defenses kick in. Tony, a vice president in a large health care organization, did not like seeing the breakout of his 360-assessment scores on honesty. In our coaching session, he fussed and fumed. Why didn’t others agree with his rating? Why, after working with him for more than 5 years, did some of his direct reports and colleagues sit on the fence, “neither satisfied nor dissatisfied” with this behavior? Who was that person who marked “highly dissatisfied” on the item inquiring about Tony’s level of honesty? “And there’s my damn boss,” he said pointing to the graph indicating his manager’s rating of 4. “I thought we had a good relationship. How come he didn’t give me a 5?”

Even getting the truth about honesty, it seems, is not always easy, especially when we are assessing our own truthtelling behaviors. We misjudge our own level of honesty for two reasons: We have an inherent desire to believe that we are good, and dishonesty is so rampant that our tolerance for it in ourselves as well as others (particularly when it is in the form of casual white lies) is fairly high.