of mice and morons

mice (think computer mouse) and morons (controllers of the mice) are all over the place. while software refers to programs you can install on your computer, and hardware refers to the internal parts under the hood of your box, wetware refers to the human nervous system (or the operator of a computer). has anyone ever told you that there was a problem with your wetware? they were probably insulting you.

some geeks are very protective of their ego's, which can be both good and bad. you sort of master the technique of bs, and talk over everyone's heads on purpose in order to protect your credibility. you invent acronyms on the spot, and use ridiculous slang and/or metaphors; those who can keep up, good for them, and those who can't, too bad. back before i knew how to code i tried to ask my uncle a question (he's a software programmer) and he must have went on for about 20 minutes straight of what sounded like complete gibberish. i just kind of stood there with my mouth dropped open, he'd stop and ask if i was following him, i'd shake my head no, and he'd keep going. i think that he was more or less trying to say, "don't ever ask me another question again." then again he was slightly intoxicated so who knows.

a great example of ego protection is how software developers refer to the bugs in their programs as "features." this is meant to imply that it's not broken, but rather "special." like how in the video game "halo" on microsoft's x-box console you can jump out of the "blood gulch" map to snipe opponents from outer space; it's a bug, but you can use it to your advantage, which makes it a feature (and you're not even cheating!).

every once in a great while you will meet a geek who is so incredibly smart, you know that no matter how hard you study you will never surpass or even come close to equaling their skill (even though they would claim otherwise). these geeks usually come off as very insulting, because they hate having to explain themselves when they know their answers are correct. also, when they ask for help (which they only would do out of convenience) it is usually in such a vague or complex way that you have no idea what they're asking, which even further frustrates them. it's almost as if english isn't an advanced enough language for them to get their point across. this insulting nature is a hilarious thing to witness if you can understand where they are coming from, because you know they're not intentionally trying to be insulting, they just don't realize that they are coming off that way. these geeks have probably been coding since they were in diapers, and they are allowed to be pricks. i've grown to refer to them as "linux-gods." linux is an open-source alternative to the windows operating system; not quite as user-friendly but it is the preferred choice by many.

social-engineering is when you con somebody into willingly giving you the information you need by pretending to be someone you're not, such as a technician. i downloaded a recorded phone conversation once, where a couple of people got together and called a house pretending to be with aol.

the "representatives" said there was a problem with their account and proceeded to walk them through erasing everything on their hard drive without them ever realizing what was happening until it was too late. some people have gone so far as to impersonate the irs or other federal authorities. it could be as easy as calling your favorite fast-food restaurant to complain about an order that you never placed just to get free food. in chat rooms, just because someone is an operator doesn't necessarily mean that they're an authority you can trust.

considering hackers are all about self-education, many are known to drop out of school. computer classes haven't been around that long, and where do you think they found the teachers? where did the certifications come from? when it comes to computers, diplomas can speak for you, but ultimately experience speaks for itself. no i'm not encouraging you to drop out of school, but then again school does kinda suck. all i'm saying is that there are 8 yr olds out there who could probably teach me a few things because while they were busy studying computers i was stuck in geography class (or… ditching it).

although peaceful creatures, another thing that hacker's are known for is their short temper. hackers are like elephants: they never forget, even if their revenge takes several years, they will get even. one hacker decides to be cocky, another is insulted, and before you know it: j00 pwn3d m3h f47h3r, pr3p4r3 2 di3! talk about holding a grudge. the good thing about insulting or "flaming" people on the internet is that you could be fred today and nancy tomorrow if you know what i'm sayin… role-playing will destroy j00!

overall the best school in the world is the school of self-education, where the students correct the teachers. as somebody once said, "you don't learn to hack, you hack to learn."

Tapeworm - 1337 Hax or Handbook
Tapeworm - 1337 Hax or Handbook
Year: 2005
Pages: 74

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