It s a Work of Love, Enforced by Coercive Means

Extremos can take their commitment to pair programming pretty seriously. Consider this from the Wiki Web:

Karl Marx  

TheCoach needs to keep individuals on track with respect to the development paradigm: eXtreme Programming. This is a work of love. If you don t respect others, you re not doing it right. TheCoach get [sic] his respect to show through for people who try hard to do the right thing.

TheCoach may need to use coercive means to corral-the determined individualist back into the group. Ultimately, TheCoach must ask such an individual to leave, where no supportive contribution to group goals can be made by the individual. ^[10]

Uh huh. Pair programming isn t everything, it s the only thing. Or to borrow from Diana Ross:

Force ”in the naaaaame of love. Pair up or you ll get fired . Think it o-over.

SATIRE WARNING
The Adventures of Uncle Joe and Jack the Siberian Code Hound

One day, Uncle Joe Steele, the XP coach, and Jack, his Siberian code hound, were walking through the coding room when Jack started barking and growling at Loretta. Poor Loretta was inadvertently programming by herself for a moment because JoJo had gone to the men s room.

Nyet, Jack! barked Uncle Joe, to keep Jack from attacking Loretta after she quickly explained that JoJo would be right back. Just then JoJo walked in and Jack (seeing that Loretta was properly paired up) calmed down and began wagging his tail.

Nice sweatshirt, Uncle Joe, commented JoJo. I didn t know you went to Georgia Tech.

Da! replied Uncle Joe. Whoops ”what d I say? I mean, that s right. Georgia s always on my mind. Kind of like an old sweet song. Smell the code, Jack!

Jack put his paws up on JoJo s desk and started sniffing at the keyboard. He sniffed and panted intently, then barked three times, put his paws back on the floor, and furiously chased his tail around in a circle.

See, Loretta, said JoJo. I told you we need to refactor that state tax computation.

Loretta was not at all pleased (she had already written the tax computation three times and it passed all the unit tests each time), but she didn t want to say anything in front of Uncle Joe and Jack. I guess you re right, said Loretta. I ll refactor it again.

Good work, Jack! said Uncle Joe with a smile. Jack wagged his tail happily, and the coach and his code hound moved on to the snack area to find a treat for Jack.

As soon as Uncle Joe was safely across the room, JoJo removed his folded-up newspaper from under his chair and resumed working his crossword puzzle, while Loretta tried to figure out how to make the tax computation smell better.

Hey, Loretta, said JoJo, what s a five-letter word for ˜deception ? Loretta paused , thought for a moment, and said, Do you know what any of the letters are?

It starts with ˜FR, said JoJo, and it ends with ˜UD. Loretta glanced at the copy of Pair Programming: The SuperEgo and Its Effect on Human Sexuality , which she kept handy for when JoJo was coding, and said, It must be Freud. Although I can t quite see where they came up with that definition from.

Thanks, said JoJo, moving on to his next clue.

Chapter 8 contains more adventures of Uncle Joe and his fearful band .

 

 

VOXP
Voice of eXPerience: Pair Programming Ergonomics

This description was given to us by an anonymous XPer who has some practical reasons for disliking pair programming. (The ergonomic aspect of pair programming, where each pair is crouched over squinting at a computer screen, can be seen in the photographs of the C3 team at http://www. xprogramming .com/xpmag/c3space.htm and also in Extreme Programming Installed on page 78.)

I ve just joined a project using XP. I really wished I had some critical information-before jumping in. The pair programming is mind numbing. With this XP stuff, software development is no longer a professional occupation , it s just another type of assembly-line work. We re herded into a small room like telemarketers. (Actually, I bet telemarketers have a better work environment.)

Something that nobody seems to have pointed out is that with pairing, you can t adjust the work chair, monitor, and keyboard to a suitable position. Everybody is crouched over, squinting at a computer screen. The keyboard trays were removed to allow more room for pairing . Another irony is that on my daily walk to the lab, I pass numerous empty offices and cubes, and several assistants with huge work areas. I m afraid that in a few years , software development will no longer be considered a profession.

 

^[10] See http://c2.com/cgi-bin/wiki?TheCoach .