Strategy 6: Stuck? Dissolve Old Differences and Build Trust

No matter how bitterly divided people may be, you can dissolve old differences and resolve tough issues together. You don't need to accept the self-limiting assumptions that people are stuck and can't or won't change. By appealing to their better side (and your own) you can build trust and move forward.

Persistent Problems Breed Despair

Although the Cold War is over between the United States and the former Soviet Union, cold wars continue to rage in many businesses and communities. The thinly masked anger between those with differing perspectives and interests hobbles their ability to work together.

As in the Cold War, participants in organizational battles first look for a clear advantage. Can they overwhelm their opponents? Often they can't, so they search for ways to contain the others' influence. They try to ignore opposing messages or saturate communications with their own points of view.

Persistent disagreements, personal attacks, and broken trust trap people in the cycle of fear and frustration. The ruts they're in become deeper and seemingly impossible to get out of. People who are resigned to the inevitability of intractable differences and difficulties may say things like this: "The managers of marketing and production always battle with one another." "We'll never get this new initiative past our boss. We'll have to wait until he moves to a new position or retires before we can deal with this festering issue." "We tried to resolve this issue a decade ago. After months of arguing, we couldn't reach any conclusion. I don't want to waste my time doing that again!" Or the ultimate: "We have to wait until we hit bottom, fail miserably, before this situation will change." The bottom, though, can be very deep and muddy. What if you don't hit bottom and bounce up for a long time—or ever?

Sadly, people lose confidence in each other, their organizations, and their ability to make a difference. Trust evaporates—and it will never return as long as the fight-or-flight dynamic of fear holds sway. Trust can be defined as the "confident reliance in the integrity, veracity, or justice of others." Debate, end runs, and power plays won't rebuild lost trust. Yet without trust, solutions to tough issues won't stick and have the resilience needed to respond to changing circumstances.