Gift Giving

What s the idea behind giving someone a present? Whether it s giving Great-Aunt Maud a box of lace hankies or your customer a bottle of twenty-year-old whisky, the purpose is the same. It s about cementing a relationship, and in business it often marks the end of the first stage in the getting-to-know-you process. Of course, once a personal relationship is established gifts may continue to be exchanged. Birthdays are taken seriously in some countries , and the sixtieth birthday in South Korea and Japan or the fiftieth in Sweden is a good time to show you remember a colleague or business contact. Festivals like Christmas, the Lunar New Year, and the Russian New Year are occasions when local populations exchange gifts, and even if these festivals are not part of your own tradition you can show your interest in another culture by joining in.

Gifts are also exchanged at company level. Sometimes this takes place at the initial meeting and at other times to mark the signing of a contract, the completion of a project, or the anniversary of a merger. These gifts, as well as the gifts you give to foreign business acquaintances , should show your own country and company in a favorable light. Company-level gifts tend to be large and expensive, for example, works of art, furniture, crystal, or silverware, and usually become the property of the company rather than of the current CEO. However, they can be on a less grand scale and still be greatly appreciated. One international corporate headquarters in Europe looks forward to the annual delivery of a large box of the finest grapefruit from an Israeli company, while a certain Indian company enjoys the exotic gift of six boxes of shortbread cookies from Scotland every December.

But receiving presents is not always a simple pleasure . It may make you feel that you should respond by giving a gift too, by providing some sort of service, or by doing someone a favor. We re not talking about bribery and corruption here (unless the presents are particularly expensive and accompanied by expectations of advantage) but about reciprocity, about giving as well as receiving. The balance here is very fine; generous hospitality, great food, or thoughtful gifts are unlikely to be purely and simply expressions of friendship, but may also be a way of putting you under an obligation which, at some time in the future, you will be expected to repay.

In cultures where people put a great weight on doing business with individuals they know well and have long-standing relations with, as in China, Japan, and South Korea, frequent and generous present-giving is more common than in countries where business is business and where agreements are regarded as being between institutions rather than the people who represent them. Businesspeople from the U.S, the U.K., Scandinavia, and Australia often dislike being put under obligations, believing like the U.S. economist Milton Friedman that There is no free lunch . The solution, of course, is to repay the giver in kind, giving gifts of a similar value to the ones received, but that can be expensive, or even impossible if corporate rules limit the expenditure on gifts or entertainment.

When exchanging gifts on a personal or corporate level, the present itself shouldn t be the point of the exercise. Like your mother always said, It s the thought that counts. Presents should be an outward symbol of inner feelings, whether the feelings are of respect, gratitude, or simple goodwill. (And if you cannot claim to feel at least one of these emotions, you shouldn t really be trying to establish a relationship, let alone be giving gifts.)

But if a gift is a symbol of something deeper, it should be chosen with care. At the very least it should be inoffensive. That doesn t sound like much of a requirement, but it is surprisingly easy to choose an inappropriate gift. You couldn t go far wrong with a key ring, you would assume, but if it is made of leather or pigskin it would be offensive to practicing Hindus or Muslims. And don t give a desk set to a superstitious Chinese colleague, for if it includes a paperknife, this suggests the severing of a friendship. Illustrated books about your own country would appear to be an excellent gift, as indeed they are, but check that there aren t any pictures of the porcine variety in them if you are sending them to Muslim countries like Saudi Arabia, Indonesia, or Pakistan. Anything in a set of four (the word four in Japanese sounds like death ) is to be avoided in Japan, and if the front cover has a photo of that famous nude statue in your capital city, the book may be considered pornographic in more straight-laced societies .

At its best, a personal gift should reflect an interest in and knowledge of the recipient s tastes and preferences. The Japanese are masters at finding out this sort of information, so they can send the right type of monogrammed golf balls, or tickets to the most sought after ballet. Once you know what to give there only remains to find the gift, and the Internet provides all sorts of gift-giving services to make the process easier. You can send books and CDs, already gift wrapped, reserve tickets, order ties or scarves, or (my personal favorite) have enormous bars of chocolate bearing your logo or photo delivered to individuals you want to impress.

Choosing presents is not an easy task, whether they are Christmas presents for relatives you see every day or gifts for people from a culture that is not your own and who you may not even have met. You do not want to be judged as either a skinflint or a distributor of bribes. The exchange of gifts should be about giving and taking, and sharing thoughts and experiences. It s a ritual that deserves to be taken seriously.

LETTERS 41 “44

Choosing a suitable present can require a certain degree of knowledge of the recipient s culture as well as his or her personal tastes.

Beautiful booze Letter 41

FROM THE U.S. ABOUT EUROPE

Does alcohol make a good present when traveling overseas? It s always convenient to buy at duty free shops or on the plane, but I don t want to offend anyone .

It all depends on the sort of contact you have with your European colleague. I wouldn t take alcohol to anyone I didn t already know quite well, for you may find you cause offense. Your foreign colleague or customer might come from a long line of teetotalers, be a reformed alcoholic, or have religious reasons for not drinking.

However, if you re invited to someone s home, flowers and a bottle of wine or liqueur are usually acceptable, although alcohol is forbidden to Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, and Sikhs. If you re invited to a French or Italian colleague s home, it s probably best not to take wine because it s like carrying coals to Newcastle ”they have plenty of their own, thank you. It s also probable that if your host is French, he or she will know a lot about wine and may have chosen the wines to accompany the food. If you do want to take a bottle, take some drink (not wine) produced in your own country; in your case, bourbon would be appropriate. If you want to leave a present for a group of people, a bottle of booze is not a good idea. I mean, on the practical level, short of drinking it in the office, how are they going to divide it fairly ?

Meaning of flowers Letter 42

FROM SWEDEN

I travel quite widely to different countries, and I have always hesitated about giving flowers because I ve heard there are many superstitions about their number or color . Yet as there are flower shops all over the world they would make a convenient gift.

You re right about the superstitions surrounding flowers. Every country seems to have one or two flowers that are associated with death or funerals and that are not suitable as gifts. Unfortunately, these flowers differ from country to country. In Thailand, for example, you shouldn t give marigolds or carnations, while in Japan it s camellias, lotus blossoms, and lilies that are taboo. There you should also be careful not to give flowers in groups of fours or nines, numbers that are considered to bring bad luck. In China, all white or yellow flowers are unlucky. Frangipani blossoms are associated with funerals in India, but in Italy and France it s chrysanthemums. In these European countries you should also give an odd number of stems for good luck. This can be very confusing, so consult a local florist for advice before making your selection.

But in fact you should consider whether flowers make a good gift in a business context. In many countries in Europe and Latin America, for instance, flowers are usually given only to women, and in Taiwan and many other Asian countries they are given mostly to sick people. However, when invited to someone s home they are usually acceptable as a present to the hostess. In some countries, like Sweden, Poland, and Germany, it s customary to remove the paper before handing over the flowers. (This raises the awkward question of what to do with the paper. The accepted solution seems to be taking the crumpled damp paper home with you.)

Holiday goodies ? Letter 43

FROM ARGENTINA ABOUT SAUDI ARABIA

I d really like to send a present to some people in our office in Riyadh to mark the end of Ramadan. When is this and what should I send?

At the end of Ramadan comes the Eid al-Fitr, one of the two Islamic holidays. During Ramadan, which is a very special month for the world s billion Muslims, including those in Saudi Arabia, Indonesia, and Turkey, most believers fast from dawn to dusk. The purpose of this long fast is to teach self-control and to give Muslims a greater understanding of what it means to be poor and hungry. The end of Ramadan, as you would expect at the end of a long fast, is marked by feasting and lots of get-togethers.

In the case of the Eid, it can be tricky to know when to send something; the date changes from year to year because the Islamic calendar is lunar-based. However, a phone call to your nearest mosque or a look at a few Internet sites should provide you with the information you require. As a general rule, the date for the start of Ramadan moves ten or eleven days forward every year in the international calendar.

The idea of sending a small present, perhaps of something edible like candy or cake (making sure it s well packed and not going to arrive as a soggy mess or a heap of crumbs) to acknowledge this important occasion is a really nice thing to do. It shows an awareness of, and an interest in, what is important to other people.

Thank you all . . . Letter 44

FROM SPAIN ABOUT CHINA

I ll be traveling to China for the first time soon and don t know what to do about presents. I ll probably be involved in meetings with the whole company (ten people). Should I give them each a present?

Sometimes it s easier to give a present to a whole group rather than to individuals, especially if you haven t had much contact previously. Also, gift giving can be a sensitive issue in China, so presenting a gift to an organization rather than an individual is a good idea. If you want to leave a present for a group of people, a whole department, for example, something edible like a basket of fruit or a large container of candies or cookies from your own country is a good choice. You could also buy something for the office, like some flowering plants or a set of cups and saucers. Alternatively, pens with your company logo or books (in the appropriate language) also make good presents. Make sure you present the gift to the most senior manager and only after business has been concluded.

In China, it is common for business acquaintances to dine out together, and an invitation to a meal may be a suitable gift; in this case, include everyone in the company. Ask for advice about suitable Chinese restaurants at your hotel, or invite them (and an interpreter if necessary) to a Western restaurant for a change. With a gift like this you ll have the chance to get to know each other on a personal level, which will be a plus.

LETTER 45

Receiving a present ”the process of receiving and opening a gift ”also requires some thought.

For me? You shouldn t have . . . Letter 45

FROM THE NETHERLANDS ABOUT JAPAN

I know the Japanese take the exchange of gifts very seriously, and if I m presented with something I want to make sure I know how to act graciously.

In Japan, as in many other countries in East Asia and South America, you usually don t open the gift in front of the giver. Bow and thank him or her, then put the present to one side. Open it only if urged to do so, and in that case don t tear the wrapping off wildly like a seven-year-old on his birthday but show some restraint. In fact, don t tear the paper at all if you can help it, as this may give the impression that you lack self-control, which is a shortcoming most Japanese find hard to accept. Remember that the symbolic aspect of gift giving is far more important than the present itself, and showing too much haste or over-eagerness to see what you ve been given doesn t reflect well on your attitude to business relationships.

The Japanese take gift giving seriously and may try unobtrusively to find out about the individual s hobbies or interests to ensure that they give an appropriate gift. If you have the chance to do some similar intelligence work and give your Japanese contacts presents that reflect their personal tastes, this would reflect well both on you and your company.

LETTERS 46 “47

Declining a gift (or not offering one) can be difficult. However, there are times when, for various reasons, people feel they have no choice. But this is not a step to be taken lightly.

Reconsider? Letter 46

FROM JAPAN ABOUT THE U.S.

I was extremely surprised when the special present I had given to a manager in the U.S. was returned to me with a note saying that the recipient regretted that he was unable to accept it. Is this simply a formality , and should I present the gift a second time?

No, the recipient means what he says (as most U.S. Americans do), although you must not take his refusal personally . There can be a number of explanations . Many countries have laws that expensive gifts must be declared for tax purposes, while some companies have very strict rules governing the cost of the presents that their employees can accept or give. In the cultures of the U.S., Australia, and New Zealand, and indeed most of Europe, there isn t the same emphasis on gift giving as a symbol of a growing relationship between individuals and companies that there is in Japan. Instead, there is a fear of finding oneself under an obligation to someone if one accepts expensive gifts, especially if company rules forbid reciprocating with gifts of the same value.

In other countries, like Russia, China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Thailand, your gift may at first be politely refused so that the recipient doesn t appear greedy. However, both parties know that the gift will be offered a second and perhaps even a third time, and then the recipient will usually give in, but this is not the case in the U.S.

Present or bribery? Letter 47

FROM AUSTRALIA ABOUT INDIA

My company is building a factory in India and the red tape is a nightmare. We have heard that if we give a small present to a local official this will save us a lot of bureaucratic problems. This sounds suspiciously like bribery to me. What do you think?

That s hard to say. In India you may pay for a service before rather than after, receiving it. Would your objections be less if the services you mention were described as consultants fees or advisory services ? It may not affect the ethics of the situation you find yourself in, but the fact is that the official involved will probably be earning a fraction of what you earn in a country without the safety net of social benefits. This is his way of making a decent living, and the giving of such presents for services is a widely accepted and expected custom in many relatively poor countries in Africa, Asia, and Latin America. Most people from the more affluent countries of Western Europe, Canada, the U.S., Singapore, and Australia, where laws to prevent bribery and corruption are rigorously enforced, can manage to provide for their financial needs in other ways.

I m not condoning the practice of bribery; I m just saying that it s all too easy to judge others by the alien standards of one s own culture. On the other hand, paying this fee might give the signal that the company is going to be a ready source of backhanders to unscrupulous entrepreneurs. It s a good idea for a company intending to operate in a foreign culture to think carefully about which local customs it is going to adopt before it decides to do business there. (See Chapter 8, the section on Ethics, for more discussion.)

IN A NUTSHELL: Gift Giving

GLOBAL BUSINESS STANDARDS

It is risky to say the following are always acceptable gifts; if you really try it is possible to find a pen with an offensive motif or a thoroughly unsuitable book. They can also be too expensive or too cheap. However, if you exercise a bit of commonsense the following are acceptable everywhere: pens, books, local handicrafts (e.g., crystal, pewter, wood), key rings, electronic devices (calculator, radio, CD player), and gifts for children (when visiting someone s home).

GLOBAL BUSINESS STANDARDS

The following are usually acceptable gifts: music (CDs and tapes); candy; flowers (see Letter 42); invitations to a meal; tickets to a show, sporting event, etc.; and stamps.

Gifts to mark local festivals show a respect for another culture/religion: Christmas, New Year, the Lunar New Year, Diwali, Eid al-Fitr, and Hanukkah are all marked by gift giving. If you want to send something, check the dates (some move from year to year) and that the gift and/or greeting card is appropriate.

Say thank you as if you mean it ”even if the gift is not to your taste. Always phone or write a thank you note, and reciprocate with a gift of similar value.

GLOBAL WARNINGS

Inappropriate gifts include the following: personal items for members of the opposite sex, anything that offends religious sensibilities (e.g., alcohol for many Buddhists and most Muslims, pigskin for Muslims and Jews), and anything manufactured in an unfriendly country (e.g., China/Taiwan, Japan/South Korea).

In any country it may be difficult to tell the difference between a present and a bribe. Make sure you stay on the right side of the law.

Don t go empty-handed if invited to someone s home.

 

• Argentina: See the Global Business Standards. Knives symbolize the severing of a relationship, so they don t make good presents. (See Letters 42, 43, and 45.)

• Australia: Gift giving does not have an important role in business. They won t expect anything (except perhaps something with a company logo) unless they invite you to their homes . Overly expensive gifts can cause embarrassment. (See Letters 46 and 47.)

• Austria: Overly expensive gifts can cause embarrassment. Giving cheap or shoddy presents with logos is worse than giving nothing at all. (See Letter 47.)

• Belgium: See Letter 47.

• Brazil: Knives symbolize the severing of a relationship, so they don t make good presents. Clocks and watches are not popular either. (See Letters 42 and 45.)

• Canada: Overly expensive gifts can cause embarrassment. (See Letter 47.)

• China: Clocks, handkerchiefs, and cutting utensils do not make welcome gifts. Presents may be refused at first, to be accepted on the second or third time offered. (See Letters 42, 44, 45, and 46.)

• Denmark: Overly expensive gifts can cause embarrassment. Hand-made articles are usually appreciated. (See Letter 47.)

• Finland: See Denmark.

• France: Avoid gifts with large logos. Choose gifts that imply the recipient has cultivated tastes, for example, books, tickets to some cultural event, or a good liqueur from your own country. (See Letters 41 and 42.)

• Germany: (See the Global Business Standards. See Letters 42 and 47.)

• Hong Kong: See China.

• India: Expensive gifts aren t usually exchanged. (See Letters 42 and 47.)

• Indonesia: Gifts are important. They re usually opened in giver s presence. Refusing a gift may be seen as an insult. If given an expensive gift, reciprocate with something of similar value. (See China if dealing with Chinese-Indonesians.) (See Letter 43.)

• Italy: See France. (See Letters 41 and 42.)

• Japan: Gift giving is an important part of a business relationship. Anything in groups of four symbolizes bad luck. Gift should be presented with both hands, and be tastefully and neatly wrapped. Hotels often provide a gift-giving service. Don t use white, black, or blue ”colors associated with funerals ”to wrap presents; use red, pink, or yellow instead. (See Letters 42, 45, and 46.)

• Mexico: Gift giving does not have an important role in business. They will not expect anything (except perhaps something simple with the company logo) unless the relationship has already become quite friendly. Overly expensive gifts can cause embarrassment. (See Letter 42.)

• Netherlands: Gift giving does not have an important role in business. Overly expensive gifts can cause embarrassment. (See Letters 45 and 47.)

• Norway: See Denmark.

• Poland: (See the Global Business Standards. See Letter 42.)

• Russia: Gifts are given on holidays and special occasions. Birthdays are important and you should know the birthdays of your important business contacts and colleagues. Usually gifts are not given until the end of a transaction or meeting, and they are not usually opened in front of the giver. Most Russians will refuse the offer of a gift at first, but accept when urged. (See Letter 46.)

• Saudi Arabia: Don t admire something too enthusiastically ” Saudis are generous and may give it to you. You are not expected to take a gift to a Saudi home, but a personal one for your host (not hostess) will be appreciated. (See Letter 43.)

• South Africa: Do not go empty handed if invited to someone s home (which is not unusual in South Africa). Personalized gifts after the relationship is established are appreciated.

• South Korea: Gifts are important, but they don t need to be expensive. They will not be opened in the giver s presence. The sixtieth birthday is very important and requires a present. (See Letters 42 and 45.)

• Spain: Gifts are never presented at a first meeting, but are given after the relationship has developed. Articles with large logos are not generally appreciated. (See Letters 44 and 47.)

• Sweden: See Denmark. Fiftieth birthdays are important and call for presents. (See Letter 42 and 47.)

• Switzerland: Do not give watches or clocks as they make the best there. (See Letter 46.)

• Taiwan: See China.

• Thailand: See Indonesia. (See Letters 42, 45, and 46.)

• Turkey: Gifts should be presented to older/more senior people first. (See Letter 43.)

• UK: Gift giving does not have an important role in business. People won t expect anything (except perhaps something simple with the company logo) unless they invite you to their homes. Overly expensive gifts can cause embarrassment. (See Letters 46 and 47.)

• US: See U.K. There are strict corporate rules and regulations regulating the value of gifts offered and received. Overly expensive gifts can cause embarrassment. (See Letters 41 and 46.)

• Venezuela: See the Global Business Standards. (See Letters 42 and 45.)