Socializing

For anyone with a job, the days and weeks divide themselves neatly into working days and weekends, working hours and leisure time. However, what we call the working day in fact contains a fair amount of non-working activity. People who work from home with the aid of a PC and Internet access often complain that it is the social aspect of working life which they miss most. That includes the chat in the elevator up to the office, the shared coffee break, the trip to the cafeteria, or walking to the garage at the end of the day. All of these give opportunities for social interaction with colleagues, getting to know others, and building relationships. Where work ends and socializing begins is difficult to say. In some cultures it is taken for granted that groups of (male) employees will meet after work, and in Japan and South Korea, for example, drinking after work is vital if you are going to be accepted as one of the team, for there is no work without people, and people are social animals.

It s even more difficult to draw the line in an unfamiliar culture. Is the ten minutes of small talk and gossip at the beginning of a meeting in a Southern European or Latin American company a waste of time, as the Germans, Swiss, and Finns tend to believe, and a social activity better suited to after work? Or is it instead an effective way for employees to share important information that will improve the internal communication process at the company and reduce the time people would otherwise have to spend writing e-mails to each other? (In certain British companies, the management has prohibited the sending of internal e- mails on Fridays and has encouraged employees to speak to coworkers on the phone or face-to-face. They consider it more cost-efficient.) Or perhaps sitting and chatting before the meeting strengthens employees interpersonal relationships, thereby helping to reduce the possibility of conflicts. All of these interpretations are possible.

It is asking for trouble if a foreigner tries to change the way local people socialize at work, as many expatriate managers have found. Foreign managers in unfamiliar cultures are quick to see the savings in time and money that removing opportunities for social contact would bring, but they aren t as good at identifying the reactions of their employees. Trying to change or get rid of the tea break in a British factory, discontinuing the nomunication parties in Japan (see Chapter 3), and shortening the lunch breaks in France in the name of productivity were all measures made by new foreign bosses that revealed a lack of understanding on their parts of what was important to the local workforce. The measures also created a lot of resentment, and resentful employees, as every HR boss knows , do not usually give their best to their jobs.

Wherever we work, there are few jobs that do not require at least some contact with others. To put it simply, the better the contact, the more smoothly work proceeds ”it s not rocket science. And when you spend time socializing, whether with colleagues or customers, you re more likely to be able to discover the individual behind the job, and ironically, perhaps, achieve a better working relationship.

LETTERS 36 “38

Social occasions are intended to bring people together and can help establish a good relationship with new colleagues, customers, or suppliers. However, these occasions may not be entirely anxiety-free.

Karaoke complex Letter 36

FROM BRAZIL ABOUT CHINA

I will be traveling to China soon to visit one of our customers, and have heard from people who ve been there that I m likely to have to sing karaoke . I have a terrible singing voice, and the thought of singing in front of a lot of people terrifies me. What on earth shall I do?

Karaoke clubs originated in Japan, but have now spread to the rest of the world, and are especially popular in China, Taiwan, and Southeast Asia. The clubs provide a microphone and music videos with the background music to popular songs, but you have to provide the vocals to accompany them. Not knowing the words to Chinese songs will be no excuse , as most bars have some popular English or U.S. American songs and you should be able to recognize at least a few tunes.

Don t worry about making a fool of yourself. The important thing is not how you sound but that you join in, and in doing so get to know your hosts better. It s often difficult to make friendly contact with people from other cultures, especially if you don t speak their language, but singing for each other is a way of doing this. Of course, you can try to get out of singing, but your hosts will appreciate it if you show you are prepared to let them see your more human side by joining in and performing (even at the risk of embarrassing yourself). Even if you re dreadful, you ll still get a round of applause, and if you ve warned them that you re not a good singer , they only have themselves to blame if they go home with headaches !

Sauna suspicion Letter 37

FROM SPAIN ABOUT FINLAND

Is it true that if you want to do business in Finland you have to be prepared to visit a sauna?

It s certainly not required for foreigners to take a sauna with business partners , but for Finns it is a natural way to get to know each other or to spend time relaxing with family or friends after a day at work. There are absolutely no sexual overtones in its use in Finland as there may be in other countries . You ll find saunas everywhere; you ll find them at all hotels and swimming pools, in nearly all apartment buildings , and in many private homes . There is even a story that the first thing that Finns did after arriving to work on an engineering project in equatorial Africa was to build a sauna!

If you are invited to share a sauna, don t worry: The sexes are usually segregated, and although Finns and Scandinavians in general are quite relaxed when it comes to nudity, nobody will think it strange if you wear a towel or a swimsuit.

No go go-cart Letter 38

FROM INDIA ABOUT SWEDEN

My company is collaborating with a Swedish company, and when I was there recently I was invited out by the manager to share in a departmental social evening. I was very surprised to find that we were to spend the evening go-cart racing, and that everyone in the department, men and women, young and old, were expected to join in. I found it an uncomfortable experience.

Business socializing usually reflects both national and corporate cultures. In Sweden, social equality is a powerful concept, both politically and in the workplace. A manager is a manager behind the desk, but after working hours is neither better nor worse than his or her subordinate.

Indeed, even the word subordinate , implying a strict hierarchy where some are higher than others on the corporate ladder, is regarded as rather old-fashioned in Sweden. To be good at your job as manager, you also have to be a team player.

Coming from a society like India, with a very strict hierarchy both inside and outside the workplace, you might find this free mixing of bosses and workers rather an uncomfortable experience involving a loss of prestige on your part. And both workers and managers alike will probably share this feeling of unease.

However, in egalitarian Scandinavia, and on the other side of the world in Australia and New Zealand, any lingering shreds of hierarchical status disappear when away from the workplace, and if you ride go-carts, enter the company orienteering competition, or attend the annual picnic, no attention will be paid to whether you re vice president or a junior technician, male or female , young or old. The important thing is that you join in. If you lose the race or get grass stains on your trousers, nobody will think the worse of you.

LETTER 39

Building a relationship involves giving and taking, whether time, gifts, or hospitality. But sometimes the relationship becomes unbalanced and someone does all the taking, or just as bad, all the giving.

Generosity requires reciprocity Letter 39

FROM SWEDEN ABOUT ITALY

My job frequently takes me to Italy, where I m constantly surprised by the generosity shown me by Italians. They not only buy me coffee, but they invite me for drinks and dinner and then drive me to my hotel. When I offer to pay for myself they just shake their heads. I m not quite sure how to react .

To pay for oneself or split the bill is very un-Italian, so forget it! However, it is important to understand the Italian attitude, which is not simply one of generosity but also of reciprocity. If an Italian pays for you today, it s expected that you ll pay for both of you next time. It can be difficult to get your wallet out before an Italian, and the same applies in other Southern European countries and in Mexico and South America. In a restaurant you can perhaps have a quiet word with the waiter between courses and ask for the bill. When the Italian takes out his wallet, whisper, Gi   fatto, which means already paid . At the bar the magic words are Pago per tutti, which means that you pay for everyone.

This can take some getting used to if you are accustomed to splitting the bill, which happens routinely in Scandinavia, the U.S., and the Netherlands. But don t simply accept generosity and not return it or you ll end up with a reputation as a skinflint and a taker. You will also find that invitations become fewer and personal contacts cooler . Don t risk it!

Note that women may find it harder to reciprocate directly, because Italian gallantry may have difficulty with women picking up the bill. Instead, take a present on your next visit. A box of chocolates for the whole department would be appropriate, or give individual presents from your own country to the people you have had the most contact with.

LETTER 40

A satisfactory balance between working life and private life is something most of us want. But how it is defined varies from culture to culture.

Business is pleasure ? Letter 40

FROM MEXICO ABOUT U.S. MULTINATIONALS

I find the insistence of some large multinationals on after-work and weekend social activities all in the name of team building a threat to family life. Work is work, but employees need time with their families too, and evening meetings and residential and weekend courses can weaken family relations. They can also lead to infidelity and divorce, all for the sake of building relationships at work.

In countries where people are brought up to believe that the family, their personal interests, and their social network are more important than work, where who you are is more important than what you do , encroachment on employees free time is not welcome. This may go against some multinationals corporate cultures, which seem to require that work comes before all else in their employees lives. This insistence on work above all is certainly part of the Protestant work ethic (although of course not all multinationals have roots in Protestant countries) and is particularly strong in the U.S, the U.K., and Scandinavia. Work, and socializing with colleagues and customers, also has a high priority in Japan, South Korea, Hong Kong, and China. However, Catholic countries in Latin America, European countries in the Mediterranean region, and Muslim cultures have different traditions, and work is not given the same, almost semi-religious, status.

Most companies realize that building relationships between employees is good for business, and one way to do this is to run employee-only courses and workshops that encourage colleagues to socialize and get to know each other better. However, companies must also realize that they will lose staff if they are seen as unsympathetic to their employees families and their needs. I know of one large Scandinavian company that, when it opened subsidiaries in Belgium, another Catholic country, organized weekend courses for its employees. That all ended, however, when the irate spouses of these employees wrote a series of complaints to the executive management making the same case that you did.

Corporate policies regarding human resources management and staff training are often made at a headquarters located on the other side of the world, with roots in a culture that has little in common with their employees cultures. You should follow the example of the Belgian wives and husbands and make your opinions felt to those in authority. It s in the interests of the company to have a happy workforce, and management won t have that if employees spouses feel antagonistic to their partners employers .

IN A NUTSHELL: Socializing

GLOBAL BUSINESS STANDARDS

Eating at a restaurant with a new business acquaintance is a widely accepted way of getting to know one another. (See also Chapter 3.)

Don t leave visitors in their hotel rooms with nothing to do night after night. (Would you like it?)

If you are a male entertaining a female visitor, she may be more comfortable if you include your wife or a female colleague in any after-work invitations.

When you have established friendly relations with someone, remember to keep in touch.

Send greetings on important local holidays, the occasional postcard from your hometown, and an e-mail or a phone call now and again just to keep the relationship alive .

GLOBAL WARNINGS

When entertaining foreign guests, do not offer or be persuaded to provide prostitutes.

Do not go to shady bars or clubs. As well as being unethical, such visits will cause you and your company untold trouble if the authorities or the press find out.

 

• Argentina: Soccer matches are popular opportunities to socialize. Caf s are centers of social life. (See Letters 39 and 40.)

• Australia: A common way of building relationships among customers and suppliers is attending sporting events together. It is not uncommon to be invited home for a meal. (See Letters 38 and 39.)

• Austria: Time with family and friends is likely to take priority over socializing with colleagues after work or on weekends. On their birthday, they take in a treat to share with their colleagues.

• Belgium: Time with family and friends is likely to take priority over socializing with colleagues after work or on weekends. (See Letter40.)

• Brazil: Soccer matches are popular opportunities to socialize. Informal patterns of socializing, including barbeques, are popular. Having fun is important. (See Letter 3.)

• Canada: Time with family and friends is likely to take priority over socializing with colleagues after work or on weekends. Climate will limit social activities in winter months, especially at night.

• China: As well as ordinary visits to restaurants , Chinese banquets may be held for important foreign visitors. Everything from visits to karaoke clubs to classical Chinese opera may be offered to visitors. (See Letters 36 and 40.)

• Denmark: Many restaurants and pubs, even in small towns, act as social centers. (See Letters 38, 39, and 40.)

• Finland: A visit to a sauna is a popular way for friends and business acquaintances to relax. (See Letters 37, 38, 39, and 40.)

• France: Visits to events like opera, ballet, or concerts reflect the French interest in culture.

• Germany: See Austria.

• Hong Kong: See China.

• India: Indian cities do not offer much nightlife outside the international hotels. Visitors may be entertained at Indian homes. Male and female colleagues will not socialize together outside work. (See Letter 38.)

• Indonesia: Most corporate entertaining is in restaurants. (See Letter 40.)

• Italy: Sociability is a highly prized personal quality. Italians in towns spend much time out walking, chatting, and meeting friends in the evenings. Soccer matches are popular opportunities to socialize. (See Letter 39.)

• Japan: Business and social lives mingle . Singing in karaoke bars after work is popular. During visits to traditional restaurants, make sure you remove your red toilet slippers before returning to table. Female spouses are rarely invited. (See Letters 36 and 40.)

• Mexico: Soccer matches are popular opportunities to socialize. Mexicans in towns spend much time out walking, chatting, and meeting friends in the evenings (as in the south of Europe). Much socializing is with others of the same sex. (See Letters 39 and 40.)

• Netherlands: Time with family and friends is likely to take priority over socializing with colleagues after work or on weekends. When it is their birthday, the Dutch take in a treat to share with their colleagues. (See Letter 39.)

• Norway: See Canada. (See Letters 37, 39, and 40.)

• Poland: Social activities often include the copious consumption of vodka.

• Russia: See Poland.

• Saudi Arabia: Social activities never include the copious (or otherwise) consumption of vodka or any other form of alcohol ”it s illegal. The host s duty of hospitality is taken very seriously. Female visitors are rarely included in invitations, unless it s to meet other women. (See Letter 40.)

• South Africa: Sporting events, like cricket and rugby matches, give opportunities to socialize.

• South Korea: Business and social lives mingle. Caf s and restaurants are popular places to socialize. Salons are expensive drinking places, and a group hires a room. Much socializing is with others of the same sex. (See Letters 36 and 40.)

• Spain: Bullfighting and soccer matches are popular opportunities to socialize. (If you can t stand the sight of blood, politely decline an invitation to a bullfight rather than risk fainting and having to be carried out in the midst of the spectacle. It has happened .) Spaniards in towns spend much time out walking, chatting, and meeting friends in the evenings. (See Letters 39 and 40.)

• Sweden: Visitors may be left very much to their own devices in the evenings. When it is their birthday, Swedes take in a treat to share with their colleagues. (See Letters 37, 38, 39, and 40.)

• Switzerland: See Austria.

• Taiwan: See China.

• Thailand: Consideration for others and generosity (with time and invitations) are highly prized. They should be returned in kind. (See Letter 36.)

• Turkey: The host s duty of hospitality is taken very seriously and generosity can be overwhelming. Visitors should try to reciprocate. (See Letter 40.)

• UK: Working after hours and on weekends is widely accepted, which limits time for socializing with colleagues, customers, and family. Pubs are important places to meet and talk at both lunchtime and after work. (See Letter 40.)

• US: Informal socializing patterns are widespread. Working after hours and on weekends is widely accepted, which limits time for socializing with colleagues, customers, and family. There are strict rules about giving and receiving corporate hospitality. (See Letters 39 and 40.)

• Venezuela: It is important to spend time after work in face-to-face contact with colleagues and customers to maintain relationships. (See Letters 39 and 40.)