A Better Way to Work as a Team

The discovery came from an unexpected source: an Episcopal priest and modern-day spiritual guide named Art Stevens. For several years, Art had preached and conducted workshops on an ancient but radical way of understanding and pursuing hopes. When I attended one of Art's workshops, he told me about the power of hopes and showed me the difference between hopes and expectations.

Expectations—what you or others think about how things should be—have nothing to do with what you truly desire. I learned that hopes are what we really want when we are honest with ourselves and others. Art told me that in order to find a way to move ahead we need to determine what we really want, what's truly important to us.

When I asked myself what I really wanted, I had to stop and look inside myself, rather than concentrate on all that was going on around me. When I gave myself that time, I realized that my hopes involved not only me but also my family. So my wife and I developed a set of hopes together. These hopes included aspirations such as being in balance with ourselves, contributing to and supporting a positive spirit of community, sustaining financial flexibility, being healthy and happy, finding peace in what we feel called to do, and living abundantly amid uncertainty.

When I outlined our hopes to Art, he said, "Congratulations. Articulating your hopes is the first step to living them." Then he offered a straightforward path for putting hopes into action.

With nothing left to lose, my wife and I tried the process. We stopped second-guessing each other and discovered that we could really hear one another and the stirrings of a common spirit within us. To our surprise, we found agreement in our answers even though we differed greatly in our reasons and thinking. We stopped trying to convince each other that our own point of view was correct and moved on with our decisions.

Sooner than either of us expected, we resolved long-standing conflicts and settled our differences. Best of all, we improved our relationship, which continues to thrive.

That transformation encouraged another one. I realized that if the hopes-based method cleared the air for my wife and me and helped us to make thoughtful, useful decisions, the same basic technique could apply to business.

The thought was so compelling that I took a sabbatical from my entrepreneurial endeavors to develop a business-oriented process. Over time I developed a ten-step approach that remained faithful to the central elements of inclusiveness and shared hopes yet applied to all types of relationships and all types of issues. I went on to help others use the process to be successful in their organizations. I sought the toughest of tough issues and the most divisive group situations and helped people discover great solutions and new and exciting ways to work together.

As an entrepreneur, I focus on things that work and provide a big return for the effort. In over three decades as a consultant, CEO, and venture investor in successful companies, this ten-step process is the best way I've found for resolving tough issues. I want you to enjoy its benefits.