Chapter 10. Photograph Retouching Portraits

Ah, finally, a decent song for a chapter titleDef Leppard's "Photograph." Hey, you weren't thinking about that wimpy Ringo Starr song "Photograph" that goes "all I've got is a photograph..." were you? Come on, you can tell me. I think we've built up enough trust, enough rapport, enough of a bond where we can be honest with each other, right? You were thinking of that Ringo Starr song at first, weren't you? I knew it! You loser! You spaz! You geek! I can't believe you like that song. There's no WAY we can be friends anymore. See, that's what we call "turning on you" in this business. Other authors would do that, but not me. That was just a simulation to show you how other authors, those no-caring, soulless, devil-worshipping authors, might treat you when they learned you thought the title "Photograph" was tied to a wimpy song. But not me. I think you're gutsy to choose such a wuss song. A lot of people (especially some of those smug music critics) would laugh at you, but I'm not like that. In fact, I have more respect for you now than I ever did, and I'd be the first one to stand up next to you, and defend her still today. There ain't no doubt, I love that song (love that song), God Bless that Ringo Starr song! Just now, as I'm writing this, I started thinking about something. Previous versions of this book have been translated into a dozen different languages (including Russian, Chinese, Korean, French, German, Japanese, among others). Sometime soon, Chinese or Russian translators will be translating these "highly American" chapter intros into Chinese or Russian. Wouldn't you love to see the look on their faces....