Authenticity

I have already indicated that I operate on the assumption that there is no self, as some invisible entity inside your body that exists independently of the body. What we sense to be self is a projection of our own mind as it creates a singularity out of the diversity of our moment-by-moment experience. But this does not mean that there is not a real you. What it means is that if you direct your attention to what is in front of you, instead of to yourself or to your judgments , you will behave authentically.

Clearly there is a paradox here. For authenticity to rise, we have to let go of what we think we should be and risk being left with nothing. That nothingness is a fountain of self-expression. We typically fear that nothingness . But we must move toward the object of our fear.

Lets look for a moment at the difference between responding to some matter authentically and responding robotically.

The big difference is that authenticity is without ego. Ego, if you recall, has the job of moving you from a place of perceived potential insecurity to one of suspected greater security. It may be wrong about its perceptions and suspicions, but it is a handy propensity just the same. For example, if you experienced a great deal of rejection when you were young, perhaps you learned to be quiet for fear of further rejection . In a meeting, when someone says something that triggers that same fear response, it would be your ego that keeps you quiet. However, were you to find greater authenticity, your ego would no longer play that role in the same circumstance. You might respond to what you are hearing in some way other than silence. Perhaps you would stick up for someone, or calmly explain something, or even assertively ask another person to find a different way to express themselves . You would not necessarily succeed at changing the situation, but your ego would be relaxed and you would not be wrestling with issues of your own insecurity.

Another characteristic of authenticity is spontaneity. Since behaving authentically means not falling back on robotic responses, who knows what might happen? From somewhere deep inside your mind might spring the most creative ideas the world has ever heard . Insight is best tapped when there is no clutter in its way. Self-orientation clutters.

Authenticity does not preclude emotionality. Indeed, not all emotions come from ego. Anger and grief are two of several emotions that can arise without ego. Terrorist acts can evoke both of these responses. They do not necessarily stem from an egocentric sense of personal violation; they might come from an honest reaction on behalf of humanity.

As a coach I can usually tell when a person is being authentic with me. For one thing, there is no defensiveness or effort to show why he or she is free of blame. In fact, an authentic person is even willing to take blame if somebody seems to feel it necessary; her focus, however, is not on locating causes but on figuring out what should be done to address the problems. The authentic person comes across as having an integrated personality. Lifes polarities are held in balance: compassion and personal goal orientation, confidence and humility , playfulness and seriousness, lightness and intensitythey all seem to be present at the same time.

When people behave authentically, they tend to speak the truth. This does not mean that they are blunt. As a matter of fact, I would venture to suggest that refined diplomacy is a hallmark of authenticity. Because an authentic persons personality parts are integrated, traits like compassion and consideration are as active as personal opinion. Authenticity inspires trust. People dont have to fear being misled by authentic people. There are no selfish, ulterior motives for them to suspect or grapple with.