Earning Credibility Through Your Words

Once people become aware of destructive comments, not saying them anymore is sometimes just a matter of breaking old habits. Try creative accountability. I have suggested to some leaders to make a game out of it by making offenders pay $1 to a pot every time they are caught saying something destructive. Work groups, departments, teams, and entire organizations help one another stop destructive comments at the same time they collect money for a charity, needy family, or the coffee fund. I used this strategy once with my family, and the point stuck. If money is an obstacle, use a horn or a bell.

When Cheryl Bennett, director of customer care at Marco Ophthalmic, Inc., learned that others noticed her destructive comments, she felt “enlightened” and determined to fix it. She announced to her senior executive team that she would not be joining in anymore. Six months later, I asked how she was doing. “I’m not making them, and I feel great about that. But I’m listening to a lot of them!” Even if you cannot change the whole team or organization, breaking your own habits of destructive comments is a worthy accomplishment.

Are you critical or cynical? Do you gossip? Might others perceive you as talking down to them? Saying things without thought or purpose can hurt your credibility, and eliminating destructive comments is challenging. But it can be done. Consider how you might be doling out destructive comments, and resolve to be more mindful of your words.