Use Humor to Connect

"The best way to communicate with people is with humor," says comedian Bobby Collins. "I have a special needs child and even when doing sign language, the way I get her to [pay attention] to me is through humor. People will listen to you if you can get them to smile at you.

"So many times issues seem to be black and white. But humor can get past that all or nothing attitude. Even people who have an opposing point of view to yours will be more willing to listen if you approach them with a laugh and a smile. Suppose you want to do business with someone who is from the South and you're from New York. If you just approach it from the point of view of 'this is who you think I am, this is who I think you are,' you both have to laugh about it. Then when you come to the table, it's just two people doing business.

"Laughter breaks down all barriers. People with a lot of money have a lot of ego. People who have no money are fearful and insecure. But you can start on a level playing field when humor is the basis of the relationship. It's the best form of communication I found in life."

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs—jolted by every pebble in the road.

—Henry Ward Beecher,
clergyman

There is another reason why communication is so important. Obviously, when we can communicate well, we can share our experiences and our knowledge with others. Communication skills allow us to transfer information to people around us, to become mentors to those who can learn from what we have learned. What's important in life is not only what we do while we're here, but what we leave to others when we're gone and how we live on in the spirit of those we've left behind. In my own life, I constantly think about people who passed on, and yet I remember their words and their actions. They remind me of the simple things in life, of the values that I want to be able to pass on to people I may touch in life. We need to seek out mentors, and to be mentors to others as well. The next chapter focuses on what it means to be a mentor and why we should make being a mentor a priority in our lives.