Safety 
  for bosses, 233 
  confronting with, 79, 81, 109 “111 
  loss of/restoring, 173 “174, 186 
  prime for, 191, 193 “194 
  problems, 105 
  risk signs, 91 
  in searching, 167 “168 
  skills, combining, 98 “99, 108 “109, 170, 223 
  starting with, 89 “100, 223, 236 “237 
  valve, 194 “195 
     School problems, 27 “29, 36 
     Scripts, lifelong , 250 “251 
        Self 
  differentiating , 49 “52, 53 “54 
  enable, 68, 69 “70, 259 
  inability and, 162 
  motivating, 68 “69, 259 
     Self assessment, 13 “14, 253 “257 
     Sharing 
  ideas, 252 
  path , 100 
  stories, 103 “105 
     Signs, responding to, 47 “48 
     Silence 
  in marriage , 237 “239 
  speaking up v., 43 “44, 227, 235 “236, 237 “238 
  violence v., 61 “65, 227 
  in workplace, 245 “246 
     Six-source model, 68 “76, 77, 79, 125, 160 “161, 224 “225, 258 “261 
     Skills 
  listening, 191 
  mastering, 11 “13 
  model, 52, 142, 169, 170, 196, 215 
  self-test, 253 “257 
  working on, 252 
      Software development leaders , 55 “57, 58 “59, 66, 70, 77 “78 
     Solutions 
  incorrect, 27 “29 
  work-around , 138 “139 
     Somber, appropriately, 136 
     Something came up excuse , 176 “180, 197 
     Sources 
  getting to, 190 
  of influence, 68 “76, 77, 80, 125, 160 “161, 224 “225, 258 “261 
     Speaking up 
  avoiding, 40 “41 
  cost of, 45 “46 
  cost of not, 44, 48 
  in private, 97 “98 
  silence v., 43 “44, 227, 235 “236, 237 “238 
  when you should not, 48 “52 
         Stories, 58 “59, 101 
  completing, 76 “78, 93 
  mastering, 79 “80, 110, 218 “219, 221 “222, 228, 239, 254 
  sharing, 103 “105 
  ugly, 59 “67 
     Strength, 69 “70 
  weakness v., 68, 69 “70, 259 
      Success, praising, 262 “268