WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS

Who has the ball?

If you are stressed on a project, then you need to locate the thing that is causing the stress. Having located it, there are only two possibilities: either you can do something about it or you can't. If you can, then you have the ball and you run with it. Note that this may involve starting another project.

If you can't do anything about it “ and by this I mean you have tried all the techniques in Chapter 15 on problem solving “ if you really can't do anything about it, then somebody else has the ball. Having identified who this is, and note that it may be Fate (or God, whichever you prefer), and if you still can't see anything you can do to influence the outcome, then there is nothing you can do. And by nothing I mean nothing. In particular, don't worry about it. Identify the event(s) that will cause the ball to come back to you. Wait until it comes, as sooner or later it will, and then off you go, back into action.

Keep a sense of proportion, or, there's always someone worse off than you

Before I finish this chapter thousands of innocent people will have died throughout the world. They will die of hunger, disease, torture, execution, neglect, abuse, loneliness. It's important to keep a sense of proportion. In general, unless you are involved in certain types of projects, for example military, medical, you almost certainly won't be doing life- threatening things.

Many of the things that face you in your projects don't add up to a hill of beans (as Humphrey Bogart said) in the context of some of the real problems in the world. The next time you're feeling stressed pick up the paper and read the world news. Alternatively, you could turn (as promised ) to Winnie the Pooh. This is our friend Eeyore again, in conversation with Christopher Robin.

'Hallo, Eeyore,' said Christopher Robin, as he opened the door and came out.

'How are you? 'It's snowing still,' said Eeyore gloomily.

'So it is.'

'And freezing.'

'Is it?'

'Yes,' said Eeyore. 'However,' he said, brightening up a little, 'we haven't had an earthquake lately.'

Try treating it as a game

If you are stressed it means you feel that something you hold dear is under threat. It could be your life, your job, your marriage , your career, your reputation, your home, your family. One way to behave is to try treating it as a game. Suppose the stakes weren't so high. Suppose it were just a game and in a couple of hours' time, the game will be over and reality will return. Now, with this different viewpoint, do you get any new insights into how to move forward?

Exercise

I didn't think this one up. Doctors recommend exercise, particularly aerobic ones “ swimming, cycling, running, rowing, and so on “ the very rhythmic exercises, as a cure for stress. Yoga and any kind of meditation are also very good.

See it a year from now

Take the thing that is causing you stress and imagine how it will look a week, a month, a year from now. Will it really seem that important? Do you think you will actually be able to remember it? Pretend it is some time in the future and see how the picture looks.

Has it bottomed out?

In calculus there's this idea of taking a point on a curve and comparing it against a closely neighboring point. From this you can determine whether the curve is ascending or descending. (I'm being fairly loose in explaining the mathematics of all of this!) You can use this idea by taking a reading, as it were, each day, and determining whether your situation is improving or not.

Compare today to yesterday . If things seem even infinitesimally better then maybe the situation has reached rock bottom and is now starting to improve. This one is particularly good for debts ! and, if the curve is going the wrong way, try another method.

Get gates to your house

My house has gates and a short drive leading up to it. Often when I come home in the evening and close the gates, I have the feeling of locking the problems of the world out. Tomorrow, when I go through the gates, the problems will still be there, but tonight, I'm alive , I've got my family. I have a little oasis in the desert. Tomorrow is still there, but it is in the future, somewhere out there. In the meantime I can enjoy what I've got.

The marathon runner

I used to run marathons. Because the thought of running 26 miles is so outrageous , there's this idea in marathon running that you forget about how far the distance is, and just focus on the next tree or house or telegraph pole. Sure, the rest of the race still remains to be run, but by taking a very short horizon, focusing on it and blocking out all the other, future stuff, you can enormously reduce the pressure on yourself.

Write down what the problem is

A bit like stating the issue in Chapter 18. Write the problem down, study it and see if that in itself is not therapy and gives you a fresh insight.

The world closes down at the weekend

Many of the institutions that cause us stress “ banks, businesses, the government “ close down at the weekend. In many countries , postal deliveries, which might bring further stress, stop sometime on Friday afternoon. This means you have a whole two and a bit days' respite before having to go back into the fray.

Talk to somebody

As the old saying goes, "A problem shared is a problem halved."

Keep a diary

Some novelist “ and can't remember who it was to save my life, or even find the reference (if someone can help, I'd appreciate it) “ said "I write to see what I think" (or words to that effect). Write, or more specifically keep a diary, to see what you think. Use it to analyze, to comment, to understand, to suggest ways forward. You may find it a help.