Chapter 2: Position Is Everything

Before you negotiate, be mentally and physically in the right place.

Snipers arriving on a scene always try to establish a position where they have a good line of sight into the crisis area. This isn’t rocket science: You can’t hit something you can’t see. The trick is finding that ideal place without exposing yourself to overwhelming danger.

Negotiators do the same thing. A good negotiator chooses the best spot to negotiate from.

You’re thinking, Hey, Dominick, you made a metaphor. Wow, what a poet.

Yeah, I’m a regular Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

I do mean it metaphorically; we should always negotiate from a metaphoric position of strength. That happens not only if we do all our homework beforehand, but if we know every possible argument the other side will use, have an answer to every question it will raise, and have a solution that is so win-win even George Steinbrenner couldn’t turn it down. Negotiators should always go into a session holding all the cards . . . just as guys should always remember their wedding anniversary and Valentine’s Day.

Whether that’s possible or not I leave to your own experience.

I mean position literally. Where you stand, how you sit, and like that.

You have to be comfortable to negotiate. Physical and mental comfort as you negotiate is vastly underrated as a strategy. A hostage negotiator needs to have a place where he or she is secure from attack and has a means of communicating with the hostage taker as well as the scene commander. Nearly as important, the negotiator needs to be in a place comfortable to operate in—which means simple things like being able to sit in a decent chair or not having to go too far when nature calls.

He or she also has to be in a good mental position to negotiate. Hostage negotiations are very intense forms of negotiation; they take immense concentration under huge stress. That’s why our ideal teams have someone to handle the dreck work that comes up. It’s also why a coach and backup negotiator is always alongside to keep your energy and ego up when they sag.

Most negotiations aren’t life and death. Still, you have to be able to concentrate. For most of us, that starts with being relatively comfortable. That’s commonsense stuff. Don’t try to negotiate the purchase of a new house the day after your father’s funeral. Wear clothes that make you comfortable—but not something that’s going to make you feel inferior. And don’t wear tight new shoes when you enter the boss’s office to ask for a raise.