Hate Is a Four-Letter Word

I guess there’s probably nobody in today’s society that is worse than a child abuser. Being in close proximity with them can stress you out of your mind.

So how do you deal with them?

As professionally as possible.

I’ve mentioned this before and I’ll mention it again: You try to remove your emotions from the situation. Hostage negotiators deal with real lowlifes all the time; it’s most of what we do. Look, I hate these scumbags, but the guy I hate has got an eighty-four-year-old woman by the neck. If I express my hate or even let it influence me, what’s going to happen to her?

Hostage negotiators who start to have trouble with the kind of person they’re talking to refocus by thinking about the hostage. That’s really nothing more than looking at the goal of the negotiation, rather than the person across the table. I’m going to guess that it’ll be a lot easier to do in business, where the person on the other side of the table probably hasn’t committed a felony.

As a general rule, any mental image that creates tension is not useful to the negotiation. That not only includes your opinion of the person you’re talking with, but doomsday scenarios of what’s going to happen if you fail.

I’m not saying denial is the best way to deal with a negotiation or life. I’m saying that not getting distracted from the goal gives us a much better chance of achieving it.