Separation of Powers

Finding out what the other side wants is the negotiator’s job. Acting on it is the commander’s.

That’s one important reason we don’t let a police chief take the negotiator role. Because once presented with the demand, he would have to immediately act on it one way or the other. It’s logical, right? He’s the one in charge: If he’s got the power to decide, then how can he not decide?

The negotiator, on the other hand, can take a more neutral role, listening to the demands and passing them on. Physically, after I ask a person what they want, I take out a pen and paper and write it down. And I make sure they know that’s what I’m doing.

Why?

Because I want them to understand that I’m taking their demands or points or interests, or whatever word we’re using that day, seriously. I may think that 95 percent of all demands are baloney, but the signal I send back is one of respect for the person who’s making them.

It also shows that the demands—needs, whatever—are things that are outside the person, and outside me. I have a list on paper that I can take to the guy in charge to discuss. I’m letting the person on the other side of the barricade see my process.

A little. I want him to understand that I’m not the commander. I’m working with him, and he and I are going to solve this thing together.