When Companies Don t Help

When Companies Don’t Help

Companies are rational systems. They value logic, and their tight structures and rigid policies provide a bulwark against the messy aspects of human behavior and the unpredictable hand of fate. Given the rational foundation of organizations, grief, rage, and other extreme emotional states are anathema. Who knows what mistake a grief-stricken executive in charge of the manufacturing process might make? Who knows what a rage-filled manager might say to his boss if he doesn’t like what his boss tells him to do?

For this reason, organizations attempt to compartmentalize grief and other strong emotions. They provide coaching for executives who are being difficult, conflict resolution sessions to deal with angry arguments, time off for those who are grieving, and medical benefits for people who need therapy. All this is fine, but strong emotions can’t be effectively compartmentalized. People may decide to tuck their emotional outbursts back inside after being talked to, but the emotions remain, especially after some form of personal upheaval.

A better way for companies to handle the deaths and divorces that happen in most executives’ lives is to foster a culture similar to the one that exists in high-performing teams. A hallmark of these teams is emotional and intellectual honesty. People are given the license to be real. Under intense pressure and with highly ambitious objectives, these teams can’t function without each member saying exactly how he feels. They don’t have the luxury to posture, play politics, or avoid stepping on toes.

In emotionally honest cultures, individuals are empowered to speak from the heart. They get their hurts out in the open, and this gives the group an opportunity to participate in the healing of these hurts. Personal upheaval is never easy to deal with, especially if the loss of a loved one is involved, but enlightened companies are gradually learning to help their leaders grow from the experience rather than allow them to self-destruct.