Five Tips for Getting Over a Job Loss

Many people—professionals and executives—find that they must move forward in their career search with a positive spin on what feels like a negative situation. The following five tips are most important in getting through this process quickly, and intact.

1. Allow time to grieve, but do not dwell there. Losing your job is a stressful event, and if you define yourself by what you do, leaving that job (voluntarily or involuntarily) is particularly stressful. You may lose your sense of self-worth, and that will be a barrier to moving forward.

   When you have been given your marching orders, the first thing to do is to realize that, in the words of The Godfather, “It’s not personal, it’s just business.” As personal as a job loss may seem to you, being terminated or laid off is simply representative of a shift in how your organization wants to run its business. Rather than looking for someone to blame (including yourself), you need to realize that you are the same knowledgeable, experienced, and effective person that you were before your job disappeared.

   Even so, a job loss is like any other loss: You will need time to adjust, and you may need emotional support or therapy to work through the stages of grief (denial, anxiety, depression, anger, guilt, and acceptance). Allow yourself time to grieve for your loss, learn the lessons associated with your loss, and work toward acceptance of the situation. When you are stuck in the anxiety-depression-anger-guilt section of the grieving process, it shows in everything you do—your interviews, your networking, and your cover letters. Get help if you need it so that you can heal and move through it, and move on.

2. Get your financial house in order. Now is a good time to get a handle on the practical side of your life—what financial resources you currently have, what resources your employer will provide (severance pay, outplacement, and so on), and what financial benefits may be available through the Employment Department of your state. Also, make sure you take care of your health insurance coverage (COBRA allows you to purchase health coverage at the group rate, but an application deadline applies, so do this early). Take care of yourself by taking care of the money.

3. Become a career activist. Activism is any practice that emphasizes direct and vigorous action, especially in support of (or opposition to) one side of a controversial issue. I’m a product of the 1960s, so activism is in my blood.

   When you are in active career transition, you can use that same energy to become a career activist, that is, you can use direct and vigorous action to take control of your own career choices. Using your knowledge of yourself, your values, your skills, and your strengths as a foundation, your career activism will make you the chief executive officer, chief marketing officer, and chief sales officer of the “Get Me a Job” company. In these roles, you will be taking direct action and making the decisions that will get you what you want in your next job. You are in charge of what happens next, so being a career activist means that you are taking responsibility for your life and career, and taking the actions that are required to make your next move your best move.

4. Manage your time. Career transition is not a time to slack off, but it is not a time to overwork, either. If you are in active career transition (not employed elsewhere), plan on working 30 to 40 hours each week on your job search plan. If you are currently employed and making the transition out, plan on at least 10 to 15 hours of work each week on your job search plan.

   When people are in transition, they are often so focused on what they need (a job) that they forget to take good care of themselves. Build a self-care regime into your time management system by taking time every day to do something that is fun and non-job-related (and within your financial means). This could be a walk or bike ride, a movie, or a good book—whatever it takes to give you some “regrouping” time.

5. Balance your life. A balanced life means a healthy, happy, productive you, with solid relationships, financial security, a job you love, and a spirit that is nourished. It is possible to have a life that is filled with balance, even in a time of career transition.

   Think about each of these categories of life balance as a silo to be filled and maintained—including a reserve of about 10 percent more than you need. That way, if your job disappears, you still have healthy and supportive relationships, finances in reserve, and a spirit that is nourished, and you are healthy; all you need to do is find a job you love to fit into your balanced life.

   A balanced life is not a pie-in-the-sky dream; it is real, and you can have it. Once you identify your current life-balance status, you can work to build reserves in each area (even during a job search campaign). Take the Coach U assessment, Clean Sweep (Exhibit 13-1) to get a sense of your life balance, and take action to balance your life.

   Exhibit 13-1

   

   

   

   

The first time I took the Clean Sweep assessment, I scored 37 out of 100! I was in a job I did not like, I had unhealthy relationships, my finances were a mess, I was physically unhealthy, and I had no sense of my spirit (my core, my purpose here on Earth, my direction). Taking that assessment was a life-changer for me. I quickly learned what shifts I had to make in my life in order to create the balance I wanted while building a life and a career that I love.