When All Else Fails | How to Shine at Work

There is never really a good time to quit your job in a huff, even though some workplace nonsense can make you crazy enough to do just that. With a focus on preparation rather than paranoia, what are the clues or signals that it is time for you to move on?

You may be ready to move on if

You dislike your boss or your boss dislikes you, and you cannot resolve this.
You have a conflict with a peer, subordinate, or customer (internal or external), and you have been unable to work it out.
You do not enjoy the work you do, and no amount of vacationing will fix it.
You are in full-blown burnout and suffering the physical symptoms of stress, including headaches, sleeplessness, anxiety, or depression.
Key individuals in your organization lack integrity, and you cannot justify their actions any longer.
Your work environment is chaotic, verbally abusive, hostile, disrespectful, or demeaning.
You no longer feel that your contribution is appreciated—something is wrong, and you cannot put your finger on it.
Your work is constantly criticized—or ignored.
You are known in your organization as difficult and aggressive.
You have made a workplace or political blunder, and your rebound plan has not worked.
You have applied for a promotion, and the reasons for your being rejected are flimsy at best.
You have been “layered”—that is, your boss has hired someone to manage you (you report to the new guy, and the new guy reports to your boss).
You have attempted to develop a mentor relationship with members of management, but you have been avoided or turned down.
You have not improved your career skills within the last 90 days.
You have been overlooked for important meetings, task forces, and initiatives.
Your last performance evaluation recommended skill or behavior enhancements for you to master, and you have neglected to do so.
Your company is in merger talks with another company or your company is in financial trouble.
Your boss has been fired (or has left to pursue other opportunities), and you are guilty by association.
Your company has hired a new CEO, and he has begun to hire his own leadership team.
You are elated on Friday afternoons and depressed on Sunday nights.

If you agreed with seven or more of these statements, you will want to either take some steps to stabilize your current position (refer back to Chapters 1 to 5) or plan your exit.

Planning for When and How

Nancy, the woman who was going through a nasty divorce and had to deal with an incompetent boss, reacted out of anger, and it did not serve her well. She removed herself from a frustrating situation by abruptly quitting; she was clearly running away from something rather than being drawn toward something better.

If you find yourself in a similarly frustrating situation, ask yourself the following questions:

How did I get here?
Have I experienced this before?
What part of this relationship can I own and shift?
What are my options?
How do I want this to turn out?

Steve, the patent attorney who became a history teacher, had good intentions in his desire to separate, but he did not investigate why being an attorney wasn’t working for him any longer, and what it was about teaching that would give him what he wanted. Steve could have asked himself the following questions:

What was most satisfying in being an attorney?
What was most dissatisfying?
How do those things fit (or contrast) with my values?
What needs were fulfilled by following my father’s expectations, and how are those actions serving me now? What values and needs do I have now?
How can I take my skills and my values, and create a balanced life that I love?

Tim, our IT person who was replaced by his own subordinate, received many clues about his job stability—clues that he chose to ignore (doing nothing is a choice). He did not ask

What type of management support do I need in order to be effective and productive in this job?
How can the new CEO support me as I work to deliver the results he wants? How can we best communicate with each other?
What about the meetings between my subordinate and my boss? If the CEO is mentoring my subordinate, how can I support the process? If the CEO is grooming my subordinate, what are the chances for my success here?
What about the PowerPoint recommendation for my removal? If he believes I am ineffective, why is this? Can a strategy be implemented to turn this around, or is it over for me?
Since the clues and discussions all point to my departure, what is the best process to use to leave, and how can I ensure that I do not experience this again?

Anne’s departure was easy because it was her choice, yet it was difficult because it required an enormous amount of courage. Working with me as her coach, Anne took the time to learn what she wanted before she departed, and she is now happy and balanced in her life and her career. She answered her questions about who she was and what she wanted, and then implemented her strategy to get it. You can use her plan as a template for your own strategy, including pre-work (covered in Chapters 1 to 5) and implementation. First, her pre-work:

Discovery: Determine values and needs.
Identification: Determine job satisfiers and dissatisfiers; compare to values and needs.
Research: Can she apply her strengths and skills and honor her values in her current organization?
Development: Prepare vision and mission statement, set goals.
Decisions: What types of positions would suit her, and in what industries?
Assessment: Could she be comfortable without an income, and for how long? If an ongoing income is required, how much time could she spend on her job hunt while she was still employed? (Note: If you look for work while you are still working, you still have to deliver results!)

Next, Anne implemented her strategy. Her plan included the following steps.

Negotiating an Exit Package Since Anne had a great relationship with her boss, negotiating her exit package was comfortable. Her boss had been an active participant in Anne’s research concerning her desire to move ahead in her career, so her departure, while disappointing to him, came as no surprise.

In exchange for 30 days’ notice and a transition plan to integrate a new person into Anne’s role, she received an extra 4 weeks’ pay. When this was added to the 10 weeks’ vacation she had accrued and the departure package that was given to all senior executives (another 6 months’ pay), Anne was able to leave her job with more than 9 months’ salary, continued insurance coverage, and options to exercise. She was also entitled to a raise during her notice period, which the company allowed! (It is not often that one gets a raise when one is leaving a job.)

If you find yourself working with a great boss in a job that is not right, take a lesson from Anne: Work with your boss to figure it out. If you and your boss do not have a healthy relationship, you may approach the collaboration process differently.

Put It in Writing Many people must negotiate an exit package in uncomfortable circumstances. However, even in the worst-case scenarios, it is never wise to articulate your anger and frustration in your letter of resignation. An unheated discussion with your boss, followed by a simple letter of resignation and the outline of an exit plan, is the way to go.

Depending on your position and the length of the notice you give (knowing that most employers will escort you to the door the minute you give your notice), your exit plan will serve as your compass during your transition. Consider the following:

Are you entitled to accrued vacation or severance?
Will your title and salary remain constant during the transition and severance period?
Will you receive a lump-sum severance payment on the day you leave, or will you receive salary continuation?
If you will receive salary continuation, will payment cease upon your acceptance of new employment?
Will you be free to take time off for personal business during the transitional period?
Will your benefits continue during both the transitional and the severance period?
Are you entitled to any bonuses (profit sharing, incentives, or other bonuses paid at target achievement level) during the severance period as though you were a full-time employee?
How will existing stock options be handled?
What type of written or verbal reference statement will be delivered to your prospective employers regarding the circumstances of your departure? Develop a mutually agreed-upon letter of reference or statement to be used.

It is important to note that any termination of employment that is in violation of Title VII (discrimination) may require the attention of an attorney. See Chapter 15 for references.

The exit package you negotiate must be fair to both parties. This is not an opportunity for retribution, no matter how angry you are! Let this negotiation represent a sound basis for a smooth transition.