Programmers Act Like Jocks

Probably the most surprising thing about good programmers is that they act like jocks. I use the term very consciously because it is freighted with overtones of immaturity, egotism, and competitiveness, as well as physical strength and coordination.

The term jock reminds me of high-school physical-education classes. Some teenaged boys are gifted with bigger, stronger musculature and well-coordinated bodies. These boys excel in organized athletics, but they also find that they can dominate the smaller, weaker kids in unofficial contests of strength and agility. These jocks not only dominate on the diamond or gridiron, but they dominate the weaker boys in the locker room and on the school playground, outside of sanctioned competition.

A 6-foot-tall, 17-year-old boy has the strength of a man but lacks the man's maturity. This man-boy is unsympathetic to those who are weaker than he is. He is in the throes of adolescence and is as yet untempered by the strictures of adult society.

His attitude is brutish and simple: Keep up or die. His actions say: "If you can't do what I do, then you are a worthless loser." Any kid on the playground who can't compete physically is rejected and is not considered acceptable. Because the jock has the physical strength to dominate, he does.

An interesting thing happens to this jock dynamic, however. Once out of school and into the real world, the ability to physically dominate another person quickly loses its power and usefulness. In high school, if the jock felt threatened by a chubby kid with glasses, a couple of well-placed fists and the haughty laughter of the varsity team served to put the kid in his place. In the world of business, fists and taunts can no longer be used. It is not acceptable behavior to administer wedgies or snap towels in the conference room, nor is it effective. Although the jock might still have the physical power to dominate another, weaker, person, doing so can only backfire if the weaker person is his peer, supervisor, or manager.

The jocks, who were so immature in high school, find themselves learning a very humbling lesson. When they emerge into the wider world, they find their wings are clipped by society, and they learn to coexist successfully with people of lesser physical ability. Jocks are well represented in business, and they tend to do well in it, overall. They make the transition successfully, if not willingly or happily. They retain their natural sense of competition, but they have now earned a level of maturity and selflessness that makes them good citizens.

Programmers are just like jocks. When programmers were in high school, many of them lacked the physical coordination of the jocks, but they were gifted with quicker, stronger minds and well-coordinated mental abilities. They excelled in some organized activities, such as forensics, lit club, and the chess team.

In the throes of adolescence, their gifts aren't worth as much as muscle. They are easily dominated on the school playground by stronger boys. A skinny 17-year-old boy who has a man's mastery of calculus, physics, and computer science might still be a physically weak boy ignored on the gridiron and rejected in the dating game. We call this kid a nerd.

This nerd-boy is unsympathetic to those who are weaker than he is. Privately for he doesn't have the physical strength to do so publicly he laughs and makes fun of bigger boys who lack his wit and brainpower. His attitude is brutish and simple: Keep up or die. Any kid on the playground who isn't competitive is rejected and is not considered acceptable. He gives no thought to these weaker people's feelings or their other talents. His value system is expressed in a simple pecking order based on inner development of his mental acuity. Within the confines of his nonjock peers, his attitude is: If I can beat you in a mental contest, then I am your master and I am better than you.

Like jocks gifted with athletic talent, good programmers are also gifted with a natural talent, and they are just as competitive as any young athlete is. It can be harder to see this competitive drive because programming is essentially an invisible, solo sport. But don't let their quiet demeanor fool you; programmers are zealous competitors, and really good programmers are as cutthroat as any Olympic hopeful.

An interesting thing happens to this nerd dynamic, however. Once out of school and into the real world of adulthood, the ability to mentally dominate another person is not lost in the transition to a mature, civil, adult society. The nerd is protected by social strictures and can no longer be beaten up on the playing field. Physical bullying ceases to be acceptable behavior as adolescents mature into adulthood, but mental bullying becomes a stronger and stronger weapon in adulthood.

This mental-jock dynamic the ability to mentally dominate another person gains tremendous power in the adult world of the information age. In civil society, it has become perfectly acceptable behavior to administer mental wedgies with inscrutable software, or to snap emotional towels at long-suffering humans just trying to get some cash from their ATMs.

The jocks, who were so powerful in high school, find themselves utterly at the mercy of their former victims. The humbling process of becoming an adult makes most jocks become decent humans, and many of them have confessed to me no small embarrassment over their adolescent behavior.

The 6-foot-4-inch-tall former All-State point guard finds his physical prowess is useless in the boardroom, whereas the 5-foot-7-inch-tall former astronomy-club treasurer finds his mental prowess allows him to weave and jab and punch with unmatched agility. The endlessly adolescent nerd-boy lawyer can dominate in court with his keen tongue and keener mind. The nerd-boy doctor now has the power of life or death over his former-jock patients. And surprise the pasty-faced nerd-boy computer programmer turns out to have the most astonishing amount of power ever before wielded because he now controls everyone's access to vital information.

There is no maturation process to temper their exercise of that power. They dominate others with their mental ability because they can, and they see nothing wrong with humiliating users with dauntingly complex products. They sneer, joke, and laugh about the "lusers" who simply are not smart enough to use computers. Their work habits, too, of isolation, pressure, and long, odd hours offer little civilizing influence.

Not until my late 20s did I realize what a bully I was. The only difference was that I used my programming skills as my fists, and my mastery of complex systems as my height and reach. And I swinishly hooted at those who could not keep up with the complexities of using computers.