Checklists for Life

7

Social Life

It may seem incongruous to make checklists for having fun. But certain kinds of fun are a lot more enjoyable if you’ve planned adequately. Whether you are throwing a party, buying a gift, or expressing thanks for a service well done, a bit of thinking ahead will make your social life even more rewarding—and less worry will make it much more fun!

 Tips for Throwing a Party

Details, details, details. Those are the three secrets for throwing a successful party. And creating checklists is the way to make sure you nail down every one of them! This list will help you focus on the most important details, and give you some suggestions for keeping track of them.

1.	Make a list, suggests Suzanne Williamson, author of Entertaining for Dummies, and an experienced party planner and fellow list maker. Actually, make three:
	• A shopping list of everything you need to buy—don’t forget cocktail napkins and smaller plates if you’re having a dessert or cocktail party, or candles for a birthday cake!
	• A task list of all the things you can take care of before the day of the party.
	• A Day of the Party list for everything that must be done on The Day.
2.	Make up the guest list at least three weeks ahead of time.
3.	Send invitations no later than two weeks before the party. The invitation, whether written or telephoned, should let your guests know whether dinner will be served at the party.
4.	Plan the menu (or call the caterer) two weeks ahead of time. (Very popular caterers in large cities may need to be booked more than two weeks ahead.)
5.	Get help. If you’re expecting more than eight or ten people, give serious thought to hiring an extra pair of hands—a bartender or even a local teenager can take coats and bus the buffet table. If you do have a bartender or other assistant, explain exactly what you’d like him to do. Tell him where to find extra supplies and make sure he can direct guests to the bathroom and telephone.
6.	Assign tasks. Decide who is going to make drinks and answer the front door. Consider hiring a bartender if you are the only host.
7.	Set the table. If you’re renting linens and tableware, reserve what you need at the rental store two weeks ahead. If you’re buying disposable party ware, make this purchase well in advance to free yourself for other details.
8.	Stock the bar. Buy drinks and mixers well ahead (see “The Well-Stocked Bar” on page 115 for what to buy). Don’t forget to include nonalcoholic beverages.
9.	Decorate. You don’t need balloons or banners unless they are appropriate for the occasion. Flowers and candles, however, can add to the festive air and create a magical atmosphere. Place small vases of fresh flowers in several locations and scatter or group candles where they’ll glitter but be out of the way. Order flowers ahead of time, but don’t pick them up until the day of the party.
10.	Round up extras. Borrow any extra tables and chairs you need ahead of time so you can decide how to arrange them.
11.	Make sure you have plenty of hangers and space to hang guests’ coats. If you’ll be tossing them on a bed, don’t send guests to find the room on their own. Consider asking a neighbor’s older child to handle this chore.
12.	Prepare the bathroom. Don’t forget fresh soap and clean hand towels for your guests. Cotton fingertip towels are a nice touch; but attractive paper towels are okay too. Make sure there’s a wastebasket handy. Double-check the toilet paper supply.
13.	Strike up the band. Give some thought to the mood you’d like to establish and select the CDs you intend to play a few days ahead of time. (A critical detail like this can get lost in the frenzy of last-minute preparations.) Unless you’re hosting a dance party, keep the sound at a level that allows guests to chat comfortably.
14.	Keep a close eye on the food table. Clear used glasses, plates, and crumpled napkins while the party is in full swing. Replenish food as needed. You might ask the coat taker to help with this job.
15.	Do your job. Be a cheerful host. If tension or behind-the-scenes catastrophes have you longing for the end of the evening, your guests should never suspect it. No matter how frazzled, frustrated, or nervous you feel, keep smiling. Do your best to smooth their entry. Guests should have a drink in hand and be introduced to someone else within a few minutes of their arrival. It’s your job to guide them to both bar and conversation.

 Rules of Thumb for Food and Drink

Keep these figures and tips in mind as you plan for any occasion.

1.	Drinks. One 750 ml (fifth size) bottle of wine will serve six 4-ounce glasses. One 750 ml (fifth) of liquor will pour thirteen 2-ounce drinks. Most guests will average about three drinks each (or about a drink an hour). If you are serving only wine, allow about half a bottle per person.
2.	Ice. One 5-pound bag of ice will fill about twenty 12-ounce glasses.
3.	Nibbles. Guests will eat about four or five hors d’oeuvres in an hour and a half. For a three-hour party, with 30 people, you’ll need 300 pieces. Plan to serve four or five different kinds of hors d’oeuvres at a cocktail party where food will be passed.
4.	Create food stations. Make things a bit easier on yourself by placing attractive and tasty dips around the room. If your guests can help themselves to a platter of fresh vegetables or cheese board, you won’t have to pass hors d’oeuvres every minute.
5.	Think variety. Mix flavors, textures, and temperatures. If you have two cold dips in the room, for example, pass some hot hors d’oeuvres. If you’re serving spicy salsa, offer some mild canapés too.
6.	Don’t scrimp on shrimp. If you are serving fresh shrimp with cocktail sauce, allow for at least six or eight shrimp per person—no matter how many other hors d’oeuvres you serve. Even the daintiest and most genteel of guests has been known to hover over the shrimp platter.

 The Well-Stocked Bar

There’s no foolproof way to stock a bar because there is no reliable way to predict what any guest might ask for. Even if you’re not prepared to whip up a Pink Squirrel or Fuzzy Navel, you can still have a respectably well-stocked bar by stocking everything on this list. Purchasing everything at once will be an expensive investment, so you might start with the most frequently requested beverages and fill in from there. This list is arranged in order of popularity to help you plan your purchases. (See “Rules of Thumb for Food and Drink,” above, for advice on quantities.)

1.	Hard liquor
	• Vodka. Vodka accounts for one out of every four bottles of liquor consumed in the United States. It outsells Scotch, Canadian, and Irish whiskeys combined.
	• Scotch.
	• Gin.
	• Bourbon.
	• Rum (especially popular in the summer).
	• Vermouth (dry for mixing martinis, sweet over the rocks as an aperitif).
	• Tequila. Unless you’re making margaritas, there isn’t much call for tequila. (Tequila + Cointreau or triple sec + lime juice = margarita. You can also purchase margarita mixes at grocery or liquor stores.)
2.	Beer remains the most popular alcoholic beverage in this country. Its sales easily eclipse those of all other “adult” beverages.
	• Premium domestic
	• Premium imported
	• Non-alcoholic
3.	Wines
	• White. Offer one or two crowd-pleasing varieties. Chardonnay is a white wine on the fruity side; Pinot Grigio is a drier white, and is gaining on Chardonnay in popularity.
	• Red. Merlot is roughly the red-wine equivalent to Chardonnay, popular for parties or as a drink before dinner.
	• Brandy.
	• Champagne. You may not serve it at every party, but having a bottle or two on hand can make for memorable last-minute celebrations.
4.	Cordials and liqueurs are either generic, such as sambuca, triple sec, and peppermint schnapps, or brands, such as Kahlúa, Grand Marnier, Drambuie, and Cointreau. If you intend to have a full-service bar, you’ll want to stock whichever are necessary ingredients in your favorite mixed drinks. Cordials and liqueurs are, of course, also offered with (or after) coffee at dinner parties.
5.	Nonalcoholic beverages and mixers.
	• Juices. Tomato, cranberry, and orange juices are popular alone or as drink mixers.
	• Bottled water. Offer both sparkling and still.
	• Ginger ale.
	• Tonic water and club soda.
	• Coke or Pepsi.
	• 7UP or other noncaffeinated soda.
	• Diet soda.
	• Iced tea or lemonade (for daytime parties).
6.	Condiments and drink accessories
	• Lemons and limes.
	• Tabasco and Worcestershire sauces.
	• Olives and cocktail onions.
	• Rock salt (for margaritas).
	• Bitters for making manhattans.
	• Ice, bucket, and tongs.

 Hosting Houseguests

Being a gracious host to houseguests is very different from entertaining people for a few hours on Saturday night. You and your guests will be in close proximity for at least a day or two; for the sake of your sanity and theirs, don’t feel you must entertain them every minute of their stay. Your duty is to make guests feel at home. Offering some activities or amusements will help; overbooking them will not.

1.	Issue clear invitations. Invite guests for a specific amount of time and mention a departure day. You’ll save embarrassment and hurt feelings by tactfully letting your company know ahead of time when the “house party” will end.
2.	Help them pack. Tell guests what activities you have in mind (boating, skiing, black-tie party, and so forth) so they can pack accordingly. If weather is an issue, advise them about the local forecast.
3.	Show them the ropes. After guests arrive, tell them where to find what they need (towels, extra blankets, etc.) and how your household runs. (Is it okay to help themselves to the refrigerator? Is the cat allowed out?)
4.	Explain mealtime plans. If you have specific plans for meals that include your guests, let them know ahead of time. If you expect guests to help themselves for certain meals, tell them what is available and where to find food and dishes. Better yet, set things out ahead of time.
5.	Don’t overschedule guests. Don’t feel you must entertain guests all day and all evening long. Just as you’d probably like some quiet time to yourself, your guests may, too. Ease into this with a clear suggestion: “I thought you’d appreciate an hour to yourself . . .”
6.	Pamper them. A few special touches will make them feel at home—only better.

 Creating a Cozy Guest Room

When you’re setting up a guest room, do it with the comfort and convenience of your guest in mind. If you are able to go beyond the basics, include a few extra touches to make your guests feel pampered. But even if you can’t turn your guest room into the Ritz, spend a night there yourself to make sure all the amenities are in place. Your guest room should include:

1.	A comfortable bed. Firm mattress, clean, soft sheets, two pillows per bed, one firm enough for reading in bed (or extras for that use), blanket, bedspread and extra blankets, and a mattress cover.
2.	Box of tissues—one for the bedroom, one in the bathroom.
3.	Reading light.
4.	Water glass or tumbler near the bed.
5.	Adequate closet and drawer space. If drawers in the room are usually in use, clear a few before guests arrive and point them out. Provide wooden or padded hangers for jackets and skirts or pants.
6.	Alarm clock.
7.	Radio.
8.	Wastebasket. One in the bedroom, one in the bathroom.
9.	Bathroom amenities. Soap and towels are required; but toothpaste, shampoo, a hair dryer, and other toilet articles will be a welcome surprise.
10.	Telephone. Not necessary, of course. But a nice touch if you have a spare jack.
11.	Reading material. Provide a selection of current magazines and books, including short story collections.
12.	Fresh flowers. A vase of flowers welcomes guests and suggests their visit was anticipated with pleasure.

How to Be a Great Guest

Being a good guest isn’t all sipping cool drinks and lounging on the furniture. It takes a certain amount of care to do it right. Whether you’ve been invited for drinks, for dinner, or for the weekend, treat your hosts as thoughtfully as you hope to be treated by them.

 DINNER AND OTHER PARTIES

1.	Learn some French. RSVP stands for respondez s’il vous plait. Literally, it means “please respond,” but the practical translation comes down to this: “Hey, tell me if you’re coming or not, because I have food to buy and chairs to borrow!” If the invitation asks for your response by a certain date, call your host by then—he really does need to know. Only when an invitation says “regrets only” is it okay to say nothing and just show up.
2.	Forget “fashionably late.” Promptness is very chic—and the mark of a really great guest. If you’re going to a dinner party, where timing can be critical for the host, it’s rude, not fashionable, to arrive more than ten to fifteen minutes late. If the event is a cocktail or informal party, you can push the margin considerably more—to half or three quarters past the appointed hour. Never show up early.
3.	Don’t be shy. Even if you are a bit bashful, struggle out of your shell, if only as a kindness to your host. He’s hoping guests will mingle and enjoy themselves. If you don’t know anyone, start by asking the person next to you how she knows the host. This opening gambit often leads smoothly to other topics and chances are you’ll soon be chatting away. Don’t spend an entire party talking exclusively to one person.
4.	Free the host. Chat with the host and hostess, but don’t monopolize them. Their mingling responsibilities are even heavier than yours!
5.	Be gentle. Remember that you’re a guest in someone else’s home. This isn’t the time to pound your fist on the table to make a point, to speak harshly to other guests, or, God forbid, to correct their children.
6.	Enjoy the food. You don’t have to stuff yourself, or ingest any foods you loathe or are allergic to. But there’s no need to announce your vegetarianism at the start of a pig roast, or your aversion to fish as you arrive at a clambake. If you have severe allergies to common foods, tell your host ahead of time which foods could make you seriously ill. Otherwise, eat what you can and confine your discussion of the food to offering compliments to the cook.
7.	Greet the host. If you’ve slipped into a large party unnoticed by a preoccupied host, find and greet him before you launch yourself into the festivities. By the same token, don’t leave without seeking out your host or hostess to say good-bye and tell them how much you’ve enjoyed yourself.
8.	Give thanks. Even if you’ve thanked them profusely the evening of the party, it’s good manners to telephone the next day and thank your hosts for a good time. A handwritten note isn’t required, but it’s a gracious touch.
9.	Nix the flowers. Not entirely, of course. But arriving at a party with flowers in hand can put extra pressure on a busy host. He’ll have to put aside other pressing duties to find a vase, cut stems, and arrange flowers. If you like, you could transport a bouquet already arranged in a vase. Otherwise, it’s better to send flowers before or after the party.
10.	Watch for your cues. Do this and you’ll avoid faux pas (see chapter 7) and endear yourself to the host. Go in to dinner when the host announces it’s ready (guests who worry about “going first” can drive a host crazy); wait for the host or hostess to lift a fork before you start eating; take “no” for an answer if your offer of assistance is declined; and notice when the host has stopped refilling glasses or introducing new topics of conversation. That’s your cue to say “Thanks and good night.”

 WEEKENDS AND OVERNIGHT STAYS

Being a delightful houseguest is an art. In theory, you are an honored and pampered, albeit temporary, resident of the household. In practice, you are likely to be honored only if you don’t expect to be pampered. A delightful houseguest does his level best to make no special demands. He is helpful or out of the way, talkative or quiet, and always game for anything—depending on the requirements of the moment. And he accomplishes this skillful feat while appearing to have the time of his life. But that’s not all. A really great houseguest, the kind who is invited again and again:

1.	Arrives and departs on schedule to avoid inconveniencing his hosts or putting them through the embarrassment of prompting him to depart.
2.	Keeps his room neat and bed made, no matter what his habits are at home.
3.	Leaves the bathroom immaculate, whether or not he shares it with other members of the household.
4.	Gamely pitches in to help out with a variety of household chores—stirring the soup, changing a light bulb, wiping up a spill, taking out the trash, setting the table, and so forth.
5.	Resourcefully entertains himself with a book, walk, nap, errand, or other independent activity to allow his hosts privacy and relaxation time during his visit.
6.	Hosts a meal. Not only does he not expect home-cooked meals every night of his visit, he offers to take his hosts to dinner once or twice, depending on the length of his stay.
7.	Occupies himself quietly if the hosts are asleep and he is wide awake.
8.	Removes the sheets from his bed the day of his departure and remakes the bed with the spread. Stacks used sheets and towels neatly in his room.
9.	Thanks his hosts with a thoughtfully chosen gift and gracious note.

 Gift-Giving Tips

The secret to giving “the perfect gift” is threefold: Consider the occasion; think about what the recipient might need or want; and make sure the choice and cost are appropriate for the person and the occasion. Sometimes choosing a gift takes nothing more than common sense and a good idea. Occasionally, however, the process requires attention to the finer points of etiquette and a sharp eye for personal taste and habits.

1.	Don’t give money to colleagues or business associates. It could be misinterpreted as charity or—worse—a bribe.
2.	Plan your spending carefully. Don’t embarrass a friend or colleague with an unexpectedly lavish gift.
3.	Be careful when giving liquor. A good bottle of wine is perfect for a connoisseur, tactless for a teetotaler.
4.	Get the holiday right. Be sure the gift you send is for the holiday your recipient observes.
5.	Consider personal tastes. If you don’t know them, don’t assume. Giving books or CDs without knowing something about the person’s interests or tastes may seem presumptuous. Or it could look as if you chose in haste or desperation.

Are you in a situation where you continue to exchange gifts with someone although your relationship has changed and the ritual has become meaningless? Etiquette maven Peggy Post advises, “be frank.” Suggest just exchanging cards or say something like “Write us your family news—that will be the best present of all.”

 Stress-Free Holiday Giving

The only thing worse than racing through crowded stores buying too many gifts for an extended network of family, friends, and colleagues is to do it when you’re frazzled, exhausted, and racing against the clock. What’s that you say—this is your annual routine? Try these tips and see if the season doesn’t get a little merrier.

1.	Shorten your list. Buying fewer gifts will lower your holiday shopping stress level considerably. In a large family or office, suggest drawing names so each person buys a gift for just one other. Or consider buying gifts only for children in your extended families; easing the burden on the adults will be a gift in itself.
2.	Buy throughout the year. When you see the perfect item, don’t wait. If you don’t buy it now, you risk finding it gone or forgetting about it when December rolls around. The more gifts you pick up before the season starts, the more you’ll enjoy the season itself and the less you’ll burden your wallet all at once.
3.	Buy when you’re traveling. Keep holiday giving in the back of your mind as you browse interesting shops on your next trip away from home. Shopping while traveling is often more fun and less stressful, and the people on your list will be pleased that you thought of them while you were away.
4.	One size may fit all. Don’t be afraid to give the same gift to several people on your list. For example, sending amaryllis bulbs to each of your cousins or presenting homemade holiday bread to each of your neighbors or coworkers is perfectly acceptable.
5.	Buy as many gifts as possible on-line and through catalogs. Staying away from crowded shopping malls is one of the best ways to avoid holiday-related stress.
6.	Be creative. If you’ve been in a rut, giving the same old socks, ties, nightgowns, and perfumes to friends and family, try something different. It will probably be a lot more fun for the recipient and will definitely be easier for you. Here are some ideas you can try without even leaving the house:
	• Food is almost always a welcome gift. Mail order catalogs offer a vast number of selections, from whole hams to dainty petits fours. You can delight any number of people on your list with a couple of toll-free phone calls. Or add a personal touch with a gift from your kitchen: a sampling of your homemade cookies presented in a pretty pottery bowl will make a beautiful gift.
	• Museum shops offer a wide variety of appealing gifts. A gift from your nearest museum will give an elegant taste of local flavor to someone across the country.
	• Think green. Flowers, plants, dried wreaths, and even holiday centerpieces are available from a variety of catalog houses.
	• Gift certificates for any catalog or department store can remove the worry about choosing “the wrong thing” and still seem more thoughtful and personal than cold cash.
	• Personal services. Surely there are those on your list who would be thrilled to be treated to a massage, pedicure, facial, or similar indulgence from a local spa.
	• The most personal gift of all—something almost anyone would be happy to receive from you—is your time. You might give a friend a “gift certificate” for an afternoon of baby-sitting or a weeknight home-cooked meal; your sister a day helping organize her closets; or your dad a weekend painting the garage. Gifts like these are limited only by your imagination and the time you are able to spare—and you never have to set foot in a mall.

 Foreign Phrases You Should Know

You don’t have to leave home to encounter foreign words and phrases. In fact, your next-door neighbor might wave and shout “Ciao!” as he roars off in his convertible; perhaps the characters in the novel of manners you’re reading are obsessed with appearing comme il faut; or a friend may welcome you by saying, “mi casa es su casa.” These people are all native English speakers, they’re simply using words from another tongue to express certain thoughts more colorfully or succinctly than it’s possible to do in English. Here are some words and phrases you’re likely to encounter—learn these now to avoid faux pas later!

1.	Bildungsroman (German). A coming-of-age novel. Catcher in the Rye, by J. D. Salinger, is one example, Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens, is another.
2.	Bon mot (French). Literally, bon means “good” and mot means “word.” Together the phrase means “a witty remark.” You wouldn’t ask someone to put in a bon mot for you with your boss, but you might congratulate your boss on her bon mot at the last staff meeting—thereby putting in a good word for yourself!
3.	Comme il faut (French). In keeping with the proper way of doing things. Telling your hostess that dinner was terrible is not comme il faut.
4.	Dernier cri (French). The latest thing; an up-to-the-minute trend or fashion.
5.	De trop (French). Too much—way too much—of something.
6.	Fait accompli (French). Literally, “accomplished fact.” A fait accompli is something already done and finished, so there’s no use objecting or trying to change it.
7.	Faux pas (French). A social error. Wearing blue jeans to a black-tie event is definitely a faux pas.
8.	Je ne sais quoi (French). Literally, “I don’t know what.” It refers to that “certain something,” a quality that’s hard to define.
9.	Mi casa es su casa (Spanish). “My house is your house,” meaning “make yourself at home.”
10.	Pied-à-terre (French). An apartment, usually in the city, which is kept for occasional use.
11.	Plus ça change (French). These words are understood as shorthand for the complete phrase that ends with “plus c’est la même chose.” “The more things change, the more they remain the same.”
12.	Q.E.D. (Latin). Q.E.D. is short for quod erat demonstrandum, meaning “which was to be shown.” You’ll occasionally encounter Q.E.D. in speech and writing as a not-so-subtle way of letting readers or listeners know that the person making the argument believes he has proven his point.
13.	Quid pro quo (Latin). Literally, “something for something.” An equal exchange, tit for tat. “The union finally agreed to a pay cut, but its leaders insisted on quid pro quo, so the company added dental insurance to the benefit package.”
14.	Raison d’être (French). Literally, “reason for being.” Protecting animals is the raison d’être of the Humane Society of America.
15.	Roman à clef (French). A fictionalized account of actual events and real people; Primary Colors, the best-selling novel about Bill Clinton’s 1992 presidential campaign, is a contemporary roman à clef.
16.	Savoir faire (French). Literally “to know how to do.” If you have savoir faire, your manners are polished; you’re unlikely to do or say anything that isn’t comme il faut. “Even more than his good looks and charm, it was Cary Grant’s savoir faire that made him an irresistible leading man.”
17.	Sine qua non (Latin). An essential element of something. A trimmed tree is the sine qua non of Christmas.
18.	Tête-à-tête (French). Literally, “head to head.” A private conversation between two people.
19.	Vox populi (Latin) “The voice of the people.” The term refers to the prevailing sentiment or popular opinion. “During President Clinton’s impeachment trial, the vox populi seemed to indicate that he should not be removed from office.”
20.	Weltanschauung (German). A philosophy of life, a way of viewing of the world, as in, “His weltanschauung doesn’t allow for happy endings.”
21.	Weltschmerz (German). A romantic sadness or pessimism; weariness with the world. “His weltanschauung has given him Weltschmerz.”
22.	Zeitgeist (German). Literally, the spirit of the time. The outlook and taste characteristic of a time or generation; “Will future historians name greed and selfishness as the zeitgeist of the baby boom generation?”

 Tips on Tipping: Who, When, How Much

The etiquette of tipping can be tricky. Technically, a tip is extra money given to show appreciation for good service. In reality, restaurants and other services expect you to add 15 to 20 percent to your bill and many businesses pay their employees accordingly, expecting them to earn much of their income in tips. Acknowledging this economic reality, and bowing to long-standing custom, most people rarely withhold tips, even if service is below par.

Nothing distracts from the pleasure of good service as much as feeling unsure of whom to tip and how much to give. Keep this checklist in mind to relieve you of those uncertainties.

 ENTERTAINMENT

Restaurants: Tip 15 to 20 percent of the pretax food bill to the server and 15 to 20 percent of the wine charge to the steward.

Bartenders: Leave a dollar per round for small parties and 15 to 20 percent of the tab for larger groups. The same applies for cocktail waitresses.

Coat checking: Fifty cents to one dollar per coat is fine. The more expensive the establishment (or the bigger the city), the higher the tip.

Ladies’ room attendant: If the attendant provides service—including handing you a towel—tip twenty-five to fifty cents. If she assists you in any special way, tip one dollar. If the person sits in a chair and does nothing, feel free to leave without tipping.

 TRAVELING

Concierge. A five-dollar tip is appropriate for an extra service such as a special effort to get you good seats at the theater or a table at a trendy, but booked, restaurant. You can offer the money after each service or leave it at the end of your stay.

Housekeeping. Usually no tip is required for a one-night stay. Depending on the service, leave one to two dollars per night, per person. The more expensive the hotel, the higher the tip.

Room service. A 15 percent tip is standard; but check your bill (or the bottom of the room service menu) to make sure the gratuity isn’t already included before you add to it.

Bellhops. Tip a minimum of one dollar per bag. Tip five dollars if you have three to five bags. If the bellhop opens your room, one to two dollars is appropriate. A five-dollar tip is standard for running an errand.

Skycaps and porters. Tip one dollar per bag.

Cruises. The 15 percent rule usually applies here. Figure you’ll distribute approximately 15 percent of the cost of the cruise among the service personnel. Some cruise lines provide tipping guidelines; if you’re uncertain what to do, the ship’s purser can help.

Vacation resorts. Tip one dollar for service at the pool or on the beach unless one dollar would be much less than 15 percent of your tab.

 PERSONAL SERVICES

Hairdressers. You’re off the hook if the salon owner cuts your hair; owners are not tipped, no matter what service they provide. Otherwise, tip the hairdresser 15 to 20 percent and give the shampoo person a dollar or two, depending on the cost of the haircut. If your salon provides envelopes for tipping, you may put in a 20 percent tip and ask the hairdresser or salon manager to distribute the money.

Barber. Tip 15 percent of the bill, but leave a minimum of one dollar.

Manicurist, pedicurist, massage therapist. Give between 15 and 20 percent of the bill.

 HOME SERVICES

Service people, including window cleaners, painters, repair crews, chimney sweeps, and others. Tip between ten and twenty dollars, depending on the size of the job and the number of days they are at your house (unless they own the business). Don’t tip plumbers or electricians unless they perform service beyond the call of duty.

Deliveries. For grocery delivery, tip one dollar a bag. For pizza delivery, tip one dollar per pizza. If you order a full takeout meal, tip the delivery person as you would a waiter: 15 percent.

Doormen and building superintendent. Tip from one to five dollars, depending on the special services they do for you. For example, if the superintendent responds promptly and cheerfully to your call for a late-night plumbing emergency, five dollars would be a nice gesture. When your doorman performs a small, courteous service (holding a package for you or helping you with your luggage, for example), you may wait and offer him a few dollars for several weeks of such services, rather than giving him money each time. Christmas tipping is the main event in these relationships. (See below.)

 SUGGESTIONS FOR HOLIDAY TIPPING

Holiday tipping is optional, of course. But if you receive courteous and reliable service from certain people year round, a gift certificate or cash bonus is a nice way to show your appreciation.

Hairdresser, manicurist, babysitter/nanny, housekeeper. For the most part, cash or a carefully chosen gift certificate is a good choice for someone with whom you have a direct relationship. Depending on the length of time you’ve done business, the cost of the service, and your own budget, you may want to tip from $20 to $100.

Delivery people. Twenty dollars is appropriate for your postal carrier, Fed Ex and UPS drivers, and any other regular (daily or weekly) deliveries.

Trash and recycling crew. Give $20 per person if you’ve received reliable and friendly service.

Newspaper carrier. Give or send $10 to $20 if the paper arrives daily and lands reasonably near the porch.

Doormen and superintendent. Holiday tips are more than a way to express appreciation: for some workers, seasonal tips amount to 10 to 15 percent of their annual income. The amount you give may vary according to your budget, the number of special services you’ve received over the year, and the relative luxury of the building. There’s no “right” amount. A 1998 survey by the New York Post found that most New York City residents tip anywhere from $30 to $100. Of course, in posh apartment buildings, a holiday envelope can contain up to ten times more.

How to Pack a Picnic

Sure, going on a picnic requires considerably more effort than serving dinner at the kitchen table. But in the end, all that planning, wrapping, packing, and schlepping is wonderfully rewarding. Caterer Edith Stovel bases much of her business on picnics. She believes that even the most ordinary food is special at a picnic. “It becomes more magical because you’re not just sitting down and having dinner,” she says; “when you go outdoors, it becomes an occasion.”

 PICNIC ESSENTIALS

1.	Ground cloth, blanket, straw mat, or whatever you’d like to sit on
2.	Plates
3.	Eating utensils
4.	Drinking glasses or cups
5.	Paper napkins
6.	Paper towels
7.	Plastic trash bag
8.	Insect repellent
9.	Your food!

 ELEGANT OPTIONS

1.	Tablecloth
2.	Corkscrew
3.	Candles, matches, and hurricane lanterns to protect the flame from the breeze
4.	Vase and flowers
5.	Wine glasses
6.	China
7.	Silverware
8.	Cloth napkins

 TIPS FOR PACKING THE BASKET

1.	Be prepared. Keep one picnic basket packed with essentials stored away at all times. When the picnicking impulse strikes, all you have to do is buy or make the food and head for the hills.
2.	Consider owning two picnic baskets. Unless your picnic is for two and your meal is very simple, you’ll probably find it difficult to pack everything you need into one picturesque basket. Dedicate one basket to nonfood items, and pack the food in the other. You may also want to have a cooler for drinks and cold food.
3.	Keep food safe. This is the most important issue when packing a picnic. Chill cold foods thoroughly before packing, then put them in an insulated container. Heat liquids like soup until very hot, then pour into a thermos that’s been rinsed with boiling water. Wrap other hot foods in heavy-duty aluminum foil and put them inside an insulated container or wrap in a heavy cloth. If you’re bringing raw meat, poultry, or fish to grill outdoors, keep it cold until you’re ready to cook. If these items are frozen when you pack them, don’t allow them to defrost at room (or air) temperature because bacteria can form on the warm outer surface even though they may be cold or frozen inside.
4.	Handle with care. Foods that will be transported in a picnic basket (or cooler) need more delicate handling than food destined only to be stored in the refrigerator. Put sandwiches, fruits, and other “squashable” items in sturdy plastic storage containers, rather than simply wrapping or bagging them. Place any fragile items not stored in containers carefully near the top of your basket. Leave sufficient room in the basket so your delicious meal doesn’t emerge bruised and mangled from the pressure of being jammed tightly inside. For fresher sandwiches, pack fillings and bread separately so tuna salad, sliced tomatoes, and other moist ingredients won’t make the bread soggy.

THROW PICNICS INSTEAD OF COCKTAIL PARTIES

Picnics are the perfect plan-ahead entertainment precisely because you must do all the work ahead of time. There’s no running to answer the door, hang up coats, or mix drinks. Once you’ve spread the picnic blanket, the heavy work is done and you’re free to relax with your guests.