Checklists for Life

8

Correspondence

In these hectic times our stationery use has dwindled. Few of us, for example, need engraved calling cards; and fewer still can devote leisurely hours to the custom of depositing those cards upon the silver trays of absent friends. Instead, we communicate both casually and quickly most of the time, using e-mail and telephone calls, and this fact of modern life has left many people insecure about the “niceties” of written communication. These lists tell you what you need to know to send mail the old-fashioned way—with finesse.

 A Stationery Wardrobe: Paper for Every Occasion

We probably know better than to wear jeans when invited to high tea, but do we know enough not to write the gracious thank-you note on a memo pad? This checklist suggests the basic types of stationery to keep on hand and offers guidelines about when and how to use them.


1.

Informals. Most stationers sell these small fold-over note cards (sometimes simply called “fold-overs”) by the box in various colors and designs. But don’t be confused by the name. These so-called “informals” can actually be quite formal, depending on the style you choose. If you select white or cream paper, your “informals” will be appropriate for the most formal correspondence—including replies to formal invitations and letters of condolence. (See chapter 8 for tips on writing letters of condolence.) You may choose to have your name or initials engraved, embossed, or printed on the front page.

2.

Personal or household stationery. The most versatile stationery for general use is “monarch,” 7 1⁄4 by 10 1⁄2 inches. This distinctive size can be used for personal or household business letters (see chapter 8 for writing an effective complaint letter), and for correspondence relating to your job or career. It may include your name and address at the top, with telephone, fax, and e-mail address printed below the address line. If you print only your address, the paper will be suitable for use by anyone in the household, including guests.

3.

Correspondence cards. They are appropriate for writing anything from brief business notes to personal thank-you notes and can be used to send or reply to informal invitations. Frequently these cards have the writer’s name or initials printed, embossed, or engraved at the top. These cards may be the single handiest piece of stationery you own. Correspondence cards come in two sizes: 6 1⁄2 by 4 1⁄4 inches and the slightly more casual 5- by 3 1⁄2-inch size.

4.

Various greeting cards. Purchase a variety of these to keep on hand. When you can just reach into your desk drawer and pull out a birthday, congratulations, or get-well card, you’re more likely to follow through on your impulse to send best wishes to a friend. Having a stash of cards will be a lifesaver when you suddenly remember Aunt Millie is about to have a birthday.

5.

Gift enclosures. You’ll never again have to buy a greeting card to accompany a gift if you keep these small, personalized cards on hand. Gift enclosure cards are usually about 3 inches wide and about 2 1⁄2 inches high and are white or cream colored, often with the monogram of the gift-giver. They are frequently sold as part of a stationery set.

6.

Lined envelopes. Keep these business-sized envelopes (9 1⁄2 by 4 1⁄4 inches) on hand for mailing checks.

7.

Return address stickers or address embosser. These can make paying bills and writing other informal correspondence go much faster. Don’t use stickers on formal correspondence.



SOME NOTES ON NOTES

You don’t need to acquire every type of stationery on the list above. Start with two types of paper, one for notes and one for letters. Make sure you have one kind that’s appropriate for more formal occasions.

Make sure your note-card envelopes meet the U.S. postal regulation minimum size of 31⁄2 by 5 inches.

As a practical matter, everyday correspondence should include the return address in the upper left front corner of the envelope. The Postal Service will accept return addresses on the back flap (because this is the custom with formal invitations). But you will do the USPS and yourself a favor by putting the return address on the front for most of your mail.

Thank-you notes, letters of condolence, formal invitations and their replies should always be handwritten, preferably in black or blue ink.

 Writing Thank-You Notes

Writing a thank-you note may seem intimidating at first, but there’s a kind of “formula” to writing them. A gracious thank-you note has characteristic traits; keeping them in mind will make the note much easier to write. Thank-you notes are:


1.

Prompt. A note of thanks for an overnight stay should be written within a few days of your return home. Thanks for a wedding gift are within the bounds of courtesy if they arrive within three months of the wedding or of receipt of the gift, whichever is latest. (But if you want to keep from drowning in the task and be ultragracious, write each note shortly after the gift arrives.) Thanks for other gifts, such as birthday or holiday presents, should be sent within a week or two at the most. A note following a dinner party is optional, but if you do send one, write it within a week of the occasion.

2.

Sincere. Focusing on sincerity will actually help you begin to write. Think about how you felt when you opened the gift and put that sentiment into simple words. Just a few sentences expressing these thoughts can constitute the entire note.

3.

Specific. A note of thanks for “the lovely gift” sounds as if you’ve either forgotten what the gift was, or are writing the same generic note to everyone. Name the gift and say one thing about it—how you intend to use it, how beautiful it is, how nice of the giver to remember what you like, and so forth.

4.

Diplomatic. Okay, so sometimes you receive a present that dismays you. Perhaps it is astonishingly ugly, or bizarrely inappropriate; these things do happen. It is, however, possible to write a sincere and gracious note if you choose your words carefully and remember the old saying that it’s the thought that counts. Here’s an example. “Imagine my surprise when the carton of fresh bait arrived by express mail. It is certainly the most original gift I’ve ever received—and one I’ll never forget. Thanks for making my birthday so memorable!” There, you’ve just thanked someone for sending you a box of worms—and there’s not a sentence in the note that isn’t true. Words and phrases like “interesting,” “unique,” or “never imagined I’d receive such an unusual gift” will be useful in diplomatic thank-you notes.

5.

Handwritten. The essentially personal nature of a thank-you note requires that you write it with your own hand—not on a typewriter or computer. A handwritten note lets the recipient know that you care enough to put your personal touch into the effort.

 Writing Letters of Condolence

Writing to a friend or acquaintance who has lost a loved one can be a bit daunting. Nothing you say will lessen the grief, but a sincerely meant expression of sympathy can be an enormous comfort. And don’t let fear of saying “the wrong thing” stop you from writing. Write the note as soon as possible after you hear news of the death, keeping these suggestions in mind.


1.

Write what you feel. Stop and think about your reaction to news of the death. Many times this thought can be the first sentence of your note. A frank statement such as “We were shocked to hear . . .” or “I can hardly believe he’s gone . . .” or “I never knew her, but news of your mother’s death stunned me because I felt that I did . . .” lets the bereaved know you empathize with the loss.

2.

Speak of the dead. If you knew the deceased, one of the best things you can do is recall a fond memory or mention a quality you admired or treasured in that person. Telling a friend, “Your father was so patient, I remember when he helped us build that tree house . . .” or “Aunt Gertrude was strict, but we always knew she had a soft heart . . .” will let the bereaved know their loved one will be cherished and remembered by others as well.

3.

Sympathize with the loss. Even if you hardly knew, or never met, the deceased, your note can be a comfort. Let your friend or colleague know you are sympathetic to their grief. Simply saying “My thoughts are with you at this sad time” will do that.

4.

Don’t assume you know how they feel. Even if the deceased had been ill for a long time, don’t refer to the death as “a blessing” or “a release” since the person receiving your note might not feel this way. Instead, you might want to express admiration for grace and courage during a difficult ordeal. Never presume that an experience of your own qualifies you to say, “I know exactly how you feel.” Such a statement may even anger or insult someone who is going through an intensely private emotional ordeal.

5.

It’s okay to be brief. You don’t need to say much to convey your feelings of sadness and sympathy. And it’s usually best to express yourself very simply: “Our hearts are aching to think of your grief at the loss of Joe.” If you knew Joe, go ahead and say you’ll miss him, too. Just a few sentences can say quite a bit.

6.

Don’t leave it all to Hallmark. There’s nothing wrong with sending a sympathy card. But if you do, be sure to write at least one or two sentences in your own hand. Sending a commercially produced card with nothing but your signature at the bottom will convey a lack of feeling and may even be felt as an insult. A note written in blue or black ink on a white or ecru note card is the correct form for this occasion. (See chapter 8.)

7.

Avoid morbid details. There is no need to mention details of a death. And it’s especially important to avoid them if the circumstances were shocking or particularly unpleasant.

8.

Say only what you mean. Sometimes we want to help, but feel inadequate because we have no idea what we could possibly do. Don’t be embarrassed by the feeling, simply write, “I’d love to help in any way I can, please don’t hesitate to call if you need anything.” But include the offer only if you genuinely mean it; false sentiment will give your well-meant note a hollow ring.

 Writing Effective Complaint Letters

What do you do if your new car turns out to be a lemon? If the electrician installs the plugs and light switches on the wrong walls? Or if a clumsy waiter pours cranberry juice on your white dress? The first thing to do, of course, is discuss the issue with the manager of the business involved. But if you don’t get satisfactory results at that point, don’t give up: the next step is to write to the owner of the business or president of the company. Here are eight steps to guide you in writing an effective complaint letter.


1.

Name names. Address your letter to a specific person. Sending a complaint “to whom it may concern” leaves you no way to affix responsibility and no one to call to follow up. Call the business’s headquarters and ask for the name (and correct spelling) of the person in charge.

2.

Keep it simple. Put in just enough detail, such as dates, locations, and names of personnel, to make your point clear. A multipage diatribe may overwhelm (or alienate) the person you’re writing to. Your letter will have more punch and will be read more carefully if you explain the situation as briefly and clearly as you can.

3.

Hold your fire. Forget about letting off steam. No matter how outraged you feel, you won’t help your case by focusing on your anger or indignation. Use your letter to explain the problem and make a case for obtaining what you feel is owed.

4.

Name your price. Well, not your price, really, but be sure you state clearly what you would like to have done about your complaint. Be specific: “I expect a full refund”; “I am counting on you to reimburse me for the $30 dry-cleaning bill”; “Please extend the warranty on my car for one year.”

5.

Don’t threaten. This is not the time to threaten further action if your expectations are not met. Your letter should focus on what you believe is fair and reasonable and its tone should convey your expectation that the person you are writing to is a fair and reasonable person.

6.

Send Exhibit A. If you have receipts, or other backup documentation for your complaint, enclose a copy (not the original) with your letter.

7.

Make a copy. For your own reference, and just in case you do wind up pursuing the matter further, keep a copy of the letter for your file. It’s a good idea to clip together your complaint letter, your receipts, and any other correspondence or notes from telephone calls.

8.

Follow up. Another letter or a follow-up phone call is appropriate before you pursue further action. If you get as far as small claims court (see chapter 14) you’ll be one step ahead.



Checklists for Life
Checklists for Life: 104 Lists to Help You Get Organized, Save Time, and Unclutter Your Life
ISBN: 0375707336
EAN: 2147483647
Year: 1998
Pages: 28

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