Chapter 14: A Way of Being

Overview

The word power seems overused by the writers of traditional self-help books to refer to the effect of transcending habitual responses to daily stimuli. They believe that when we respond routinely to the various events of our day, we are behaving like robots. But when we override our habitual responses, we are in a position to take full advantage of our freedom as humans . We find, they say, ˜ ˜personal power. This reference to power has always troubled me. It has seemed both trite and inaccurate. Surely there is no newfound energy source, like electricity or steam power, inside those moments of choice.

But I am tempted to use the word myself as I coach people in the practical business world, ready to describe the effects of allaying their habits around judging . Looking up power in the dictionary, I see that the word can pertain to a strength or force capable of being exerted. I bite my lip and think to myself, ˜ ˜I ll take it. However, I want a more nuanced sense to the word. So here s my multipart claim:

• When you recognize that you usually respond habitually to situations, and that those responses are based on circuits in your brain attempting to move you toward security and away from insecurity

• And when you have made friends with your fear or experience of insecurity

• And when, at certain moments, you successfully attempt to step outside of those habits

• Then you experience several outstanding benefits, which, just this once, I would describe as ˜ ˜powerful.

These benefits include authenticity, a strong sense of will, the ability to put will into action, and the capacity for complete commitment. In this chapter we explore each of these benefits. I presume you have done the work that will open the door to these benefits and that you have gained sufficient proximity. It is time to taste the results of your efforts.

Using the word powerful may indeed be appropriate, since we are talking about asserting a strength or force. That s what it means to rid yourself, in a particular moment, of programmed responses. You become a cause agent, capable of having an impact on the world around you.