ANNOYANCES

Happy, healthy , well-adjusted people get annoyed. They get angry and they get sad. They experience a wide range of emotions. What makes them "well-adjusted" is that they have found methods to help them adjust. They emotionally self-correct to changes in their environment. If you are sitting in a chair and your leg feels a cramp coming on, you adjust your position to move your body away from the discomfort. This is a physical adjustment.

Emotional adjustments are the same. A brief discomfort, or even an extreme emotional pain, is managed by reorganizing an emotional position. With a minor leg cramp, most people do not need to call an ambulance or begin screaming hysterically. A heart attack is different and demands a different response. In the same light most people do not go on crying binges at their jobs, throw chairs through windows , or become snipers if they have an emotional discomfort. They adjust. If a large or catastrophic emotional crisis occurs, adjustment may take longer. But well-adjusted people have methods, ideas, and support systems to help them adjust well. Less well-adjusted people also have methods, ideas and support systems to help them adjust. They just don't do it as efficiently or effectively. Where a well-adjusted person may reach out for a supportive word from a friend or a spouse, a less well-adjusted person may reach out for a pharmaceutical product. In terms of the workplace, both approaches to adjustment may keep people working and productive. The risks increase when either the well-adjusted person or the less-than -well-adjusted person cannot put their methods in place due to stress, interference, or interruption. What impedes or interrupts adjustment increases risk. As the capacity or ability to adjust diminishes, risk increases . Minor annoyances should require minor adjustments.

Case Example

Jane always adjusted well at work, no matter the crisis. During the power outage , she could not call her support system, and her stress increased. Transportation was not available, and she was isolated from her personal comfort and support items. She had never been without her support system. She found herself taking deep breaths and silently praying herself calm.

Lydia always adjusted well at work, no matter the crisis. During the power outage, she could not call her support system and her stress increased. Transportation was not available and she was isolated from her personal comfort and support items. She had never been without her support system. She began to cry. She couldn't stop. Efforts to support her from peers led her to become increasingly agitated. She was inconsolable and began to rave about the danger of the situation and within a short period of time she was convinced that she was going to die. She was gasping for breath and calling out to God to save her before it was too late.

Learning Byte

Both women had presented the same emotional adjustment skills prior to the crisis. Jane was able to access an internal strength she had not used before. Lydia found her outer as well as inner resources unavailable in crisis. What managers need to learn from this example is that both responses are reasonable to expect. Neither response should create a crisis within the crisis. If a manager is comfortable with emotions, they can add to the calm by remaining calm in the face of the chaos. This can be very comforting, supportive, and ultimately good for recovery and business.

DO THIS : Get comfortable with emotions as part of your job. Stay calm. See chaos as an interesting feature of life and work.

DON'T : Create a crisis inside a crisis ..

 

Well-adjusted people generally tend to have the following recognizable traits. It is reasonable to transpose these traits into opposite terms to suggest what traits less than well-adjusted people might demonstrate :

Some Traits of Well-Adjusted Employees

• Easily let go of past grudges

• Assume the best from one another

• Seek outside feedback carefully

• Do not participate in emotional drama

• Do not initiate emotional drama

• Put clients first

• Maintain a good attitude even during challenging times

• Use the chain of command to affect change

• Use policy format to offer complaints

• Do not hide memos or information from some staff and provide it selectively to others

• Strive for cooperation

• Verbally appreciate help given

• Show respect for each other

• Model appropriate business site sense of humor

• Do not participate in humor that includes inappropriate innuendos (sexual, racial, socio-economic , political, gender bias)

• Model flexibility

• Offer examples of personal truthfulness

• Show personal accountability

• Give and receive forgiveness

• Offer clear communication

• Demand and offer equality

• Perform the highest work ethics

• Complete and follow through with assignments

• Do not engage in second-hand gossip

• Do not spread or encourage rumors

• Actively participate

• Show consideration for others

• Stand by confidentiality standards

• Act professionally in the presence of clients

• Give more than just the minimum

• Work with cooperation between hierarchies

• Show courtesy in all situations

• Listen and respond to feedback

• Able to make compromise and contribute to positive dispute resolution

• Stand behind own opinion, yet open to negotiation

• Use non-violent communication methods

Case Example

Verma had an unexpected death in her immediate family. Prior to the death she had been a very stable adult. Verma took some sick time off work. She wanted to go back to work within two weeks but knew she was not ready to resume her normal workload. With the help of her counselor and manager, she negotiated a part time schedule until she would be able to work full time. The company had an Emotional Continuity Management grief procedure that included daily post-crisis updates with management. Her grieving followed a normal pattern of ups and downs , and within the five month post-death period, she lost only 1 ¹ /2 days of work due to grief adjustment. She took lunches alone for the first three months. She was excused from some nonessential meetings. Gradually, she adjusted to the difficult change in her life without significant impact on the workplace. Verma was able to appropriately continue her grief-work at home with family, with her counselor, with her manager, and returned to her pre-crisis performance level within a reasonable time frame.

Learning Byte

This was an amazing team adjustment based on a compassionate Emotional Continuity Management plan that adjusted to an uncontrollable, emotionally loaded interruption. It could have turned into a failure for everyone involved, but with the help of some carefully structured ideas, policies and plans, adjustment happened and a valuable employee was retained and supported. Verma's loyalty increased as she healed.

DO THIS : Stay in touch with your own feelings as you are managing the feelings of others

DON'T : Be afraid of feelings. Being a human being can be difficult at times. Most people are okay!