Losing Our Senses To Get A Laugh

While doing some coaching work at the corporate headquarters of a health care provider, I heard a loud voice in the reception area: “ Are you ready for a joke?” I peered out through the door of the conference room, and Sue, one of three administrative assistants, made big eyes at me. “What’s the difference between a northern zoo and a southern zoo?” a middle-aged male voice asked. I was unable to hear the punch line, and I did not hear any laughter. Later, Sue stopped by and said to me, “That was Dr. Johnson. He does that all the time, but at least today’s joke wasn’t too . . . you know . . . bad.” Sue did not mean “bad” as in “not funny.” She meant “distasteful, vulgar, or offensive.” Had the doctor been someone I was coaching, I would have told him that while laughter can be good medicine, inappropriate humor in the workplace can wreak havoc on a person’s credibility.

Even if you are not the comedian but are only laughing at inappropriate humor in the workplace, your reputation may suffer. Sarah was witness to coworker Jennifer, an engineer at a large telecommunications company, being the butt of a sexist joke; in front of a group of team members, their boss suggested to Jennifer that she wear a leather skirt when meeting with potential customers so that they could get more sales. Sarah felt equal disrespect for her boss and the coworkers who laughed at his comment.

While humor can be a positive force in work relationships, it must be implemented with care and thought. You must use good sense with humor. Research confirms laughter’s positive health benefits, and in a stressful workplace, humor can release tension, restore a healthy perspective on a tough situation, open the door for opinions, create a sense of acceptance, and inspire creativity. It also can make others more open to what you have to say. As Judith C. Tingley, Ph.D., writes in The Power of Indirect Influence: “When you share some laughter about a common experience, you’ve already connected on the similarity-bias wavelength and you’re in a much better position to then lead the other person where you want her to go” (Amacom, New York, 2001).

The strength of your humor at work is not necessarily measured by clever one-liners. Using humor to your advantage requires having a sense of perspective and seeing humor in tough situations to solve problems and keep stress to a minimum. Instead of making jokes that trivialize or disparage, workplace humor should be about celebrating work. You do not have to remove your funny bone while at the office, but follow these guidelines for making humor appropriate and valuable:

1. Practice good timing. Sometimes during a difficult situation people default to telling a joke because they do not know what else to say. This kind of “deflection humor” makes the joker appear weak, lacking in people skills, or callous. This is not to say that humor should be employed only when everyone is happy and good-spirited; attempts to lighten people’s moods during stressful times with humor can be very successful and appreciated. During serious times, start slowly with humor. Test the waters and see how others react.

2. Do not lose your senses. Having a good sense of humor means that you use your intuition to gauge whether those around you are distracted or offended by your humor. You do not have to be a mind reader. If your ability to sense whether someone is upset is not fine-tuned, then consider asking, “Everything okay?” when a comment or joke does not get the kind of response you expected. If you find yourself too often saying, “I was just kidding,” you likely have a problem.

3. Do not take yourself too seriously. One of the safest ways to get a laugh is to joke about yourself. By doing so, you also show others a little humility. You communicate “I’m only human” and a level of self-confidence high enough to open yourself to laughter. You also set the example for others to do the same. But use self-deprecation in moderation, especially when you are around people you do not know. You do not want to appear insecure or clownlike.

4. Be natural. Find your own style of humor, one that fits you. If you are trying to be more funny by using Robin Williams’ techniques, you may appear like you are trying too hard. Humor has to come naturally.

5. Do not be offensive. While laughter is universal, humor is not. You want humor to break down barriers not build them up. Do not tell jokes that are sexist, religious, or racist. If you have to preface a punch line with “I hope this doesn’t offend anyone,” chances are it probably will. And do not be sarcastic or cynical—negativity is often hard to avoid in humor, but doing so will help you to retain a professional image.

6. Spread it around. Help create a work environment that promotes laughter. While you do not want to encourage wasting time by forwarding a lot of e-mail jokes, a particularly funny comic strip posted at the water fountain could lighten someone’s step back to his or her desk. Pass out silly party hats at the monthly employee birthday celebration. Make every Friday during the summer months “Hawaiian Shirt Day.” Write your monthly staff memo in crazy fonts and colors.