What to Say and How to Say It

Even those of us who pride ourselves on being direct don t always say what we mean. If English speakers were to phone a colleague s secretary and ask Is David in? we would be surprised if she answered , Yes and put the phone down. We assume she would answer the question we didn t ask, May I speak to David?

Different cultures have different attitudes to directness. I remember a time several years ago when I was in England and having problems with my car. I drove to a garage, parked the car in front, and went inside to report the problem. There was a long line, and as I waited a truck driver came in and addressed the woman waiting behind me in a broad Newcastle accent , Thanks for moving your car, pet. The other wife just walked away and blocked me in.

In fact, the other wife was me. I hadn t seen the truck arrive behind me, and by leaving my car where I did had managed to block his exit. We re talking here about a Newcastle-upon-Tyne truck driver, with tattoos, beer belly, and shaven head, wearing a T-shirt with a picture of a man, not unlike himself, strangling a big snake. But because of the way he had been brought up, this poor guy could not bring himself to speak to me directly and tell me I was blocking his exit, but had to speak to the woman behind me to give him a pretext to tell the world of my stupidity. I mean, it wasn t as if he looked like he was afraid of conflict or had spent his formative years at Eton with Prince William learning how to conduct himself correctly in court circles. But somewhere in his cultural softwiring he d learned that in certain situations, and addressing a certain type of person (e.g., a middle-aged woman, as opposed to a young man), he should use an indirect communication style.

Your own personal communication style will be affected by many factors. Obviously, the culture you come from plays a large part, as does your own native language. Even climate may have a role to play in how we express ourselves. One interesting (although not entirely serious) observation on this theme was made by the English writer Ford Madox Ford who wrote, You cannot be dumb [silent] when you live with a person, unless you are an inhabitant of the North of England or the State of Maine. As someone with roots in the North of England I don t know if I can agree wholeheartedly with his conclusion that the colder the climate, the more taciturn the people. However, he s not alone in his conclusion: in both Italy and France the people of the south regard those in the cooler north as reserved and antisocial .

Other considerations affect both what we say and how we say it. For example, the CEO of a large corporation might mutter to a few friends over a drink at the club, Well, guys, we really made a balls up of the last year s sales, didn t we? However, he probably wouldn t make the same comment at the annual general meeting (although it might wake up the shareholders). He is more likely to say, Due to circumstances beyond our control, our sales performance in the last year was disappointing. No matter where we come from, we all know that how we speak depends on the audience we are speaking to.

And speaking of audiences, if you gave a presentation and asked for questions, would you be pleased or worried if there weren t any? Would you take the silence to mean that you had made your point so clearly that everyone understood everything or as a warning sign that trouble was brewing? Would you assume that the audience had found your talk so boring they d all dropped off to sleep? Or would expect questions to emerge later during the informality of the coffee break? It depends, among other things, on whether the audience was comfortable with silence and whether they came from a culture where asking questions in public is about losing face. Or perhaps they all came from the State of Maine or the North of England. . . .

LETTERS 67 “68

Many of us ask questions if we don t understand something. However, in some cultures this is not a step to be taken lightly.

Asking questions Letter 67

FROM THE U.S. ABOUT MEXICO

The company is introducing a complicated new process in one of its workshops in Mexico. We know it s difficult, and we have a training and support package we can offer if needed. I strongly suspect that they re having problems down there, but we haven t received a single request for advice or support. Why not?

As you know the process is a complicated one, why don t you provide the support package automatically instead of waiting for a request?

Admitting you need help can be a difficult thing to do no matter what culture you come from. Questions of prestige and fear of losing face can mean that people are unwilling to expose themselves to possible criticism. Also, if in your culture you have learned that good employees know all the answers, you may well hesitate to tell your bosses that you don t! This problem can be compounded if headquarters is located abroad, especially in a country that is bigger or richer than your own; this can make national sensitivities even worse .

He asked what? Letter 68

FROM CANADA ABOUT CHINA

I enjoyed my trip to China, but I was very surprised by some questions business acquaintances I hardly knew asked me. Two questions they asked me during a meal were how much my watch cost and how old my wife was. (I m just glad she wasn t there to hear it!)

It s odd what different cultures regard as acceptable questions. In France and many other European countries, they regard the North American exchange of personal information (Do you have any children? What do you do in your free time?) as rather intrusive , though the French will quite happily discuss matters of religion, which are regarded as taboo by, for example, many people from the Middle East. Canadians and North Americans, of course, simply see such inquiries as a friendly way of building a relationship, and they expect to answer the same questions themselves. At the same time, North Americans usually find questions about money and age too personal to ask business acquaintances. However, for many Chinese, whether in China or elsewhere in Asia, and for people in the Middle East these questions form part of ordinary conversation and are just one way of getting to know you better. Indeed, such questions are seen as a natural way to show you re interested in your new acquaintance. People in countries as far apart as China, India, and Mexico might even think it rather unfriendly if people they met did not show any interest in their personal concerns.

LETTERS 69 “70

The way people communicate with each other at work is affected by the structure of the organization they work for and by the expectations of fellow employees.

Communication stop Letter 69

FROM SWEDEN ABOUT GERMANY

I work for a multinational company and am involved in a project that requires a lot of technical input. I contacted a German colleague I d met at a conference for a little help. When I spoke to him on the phone he was quite pleased to help us, but the next day my manager got an e-mail from the German guy s boss saying that my colleague was too busy to help me.

I think the problem here is that you didn t use the correct channels of communication, according to the German company, anyway. In Germany, and indeed in the majority of European and American companies, the manager wants to be informed of what his or her department members are doing, as it s an important part of his or her role to co-ordinate their efforts. What you should have done first was to contact the manager and ask if you could approach your German colleague for some assistance. Not doing so might be interpreted by his or her manager as very rude, and even a bit underhanded.

I understand that you come from a country, Sweden, where it s the norm to delegate an enormous amount of power to non- managerial staff and give them a high degree of independence, especially if they are technical specialists. However, this is certainly not the case in most countries, which tend to be much more hierarchical. Indeed, most managers from the U.K. to the United Arab Emirates, by way of the U.S., would want to be informed of such an approach to a subordinate.

I suggest your manager make a formal request to his German counterpart asking if you may contact the specialist. You should include a description of the kind of questions to be tackled, and a description of the benefits your project will make to the company. And be very polite. After all, you are asking the manager for a favor ”to be allowed to use the valuable time of one of the department s members.

Communication breakdown Letter 70

FROM NEW ZEALAND ABOUT FRANCE

We re having real problems with our French subsidiary. We want a couple of departments in the French head office to collaborate in preparing a program for some visiting customers who want to see production operations. Naturally, this will involve consultation with the factory staff to see what is practicable. However, arrangements seem to be at a standstill. We can t understand what the problem can be.

What you have asked your French managers to do is to communicate in ways they may not be used to. First, you are asking your mangers to operate across departmental boundaries; hence, it s not clear who is responsible for what. Second, they are being asked to communicate across hierarchical boundaries, because the managers will not be able to arrange a trip to see production facilities without some collaboration and discussion with the factory personnel.

The French, as well as Latin American and Southern European business cultures, tend to have very clear hierarchies where each person s responsibilities are spelled out. The same applies to cultures with a Confucian heritage like Japan, China, and South Korea, where respect is awarded to age, education, and rank in the company. The French also have rather compartmentalized communication patterns, and information is not freely shared as a matter of course, but tends to remain the property of those higher up the ladder. Knowledge is power is the name of the game, and one likely to hinder interdepartmental collaboration. Your culture (which is more tolerant of uncertainty) is more like that of the Scandinavians, the British, and Irish in your belief in a free flow of information, but many other cultures find this difficult to deal with. You are more likely to get a positive result if you give one of the managers responsibility for arranging the visit, and instruct him or her to involve the factory in the plans.

LETTERS 71 “72

You may like to have things out in the open , or prefer to leave them unsaid.

A major error Letter 71

FROM MEXICO ABOUT GERMANY

We have a new German manager who is making himself extremely unpopular here. He has introduced a new quality control system that is complicated and takes time to learn. Inevitably mistakes are made. However, when he finds an error, he seems to delight in pointing this out to the person involved in front of everyone. Several people are already thinking of handing in their notices.

Your new manager is certainly not trying to offend people intentionally. In his own direct way, a way shared by U.S. Americans who also believe that it is better to tell it like it is, he might even be trying to help by identifying the problem. He obviously does not understand that Mexicans regard this very direct approach as fault-finding, confrontational, and aggressive . Mexicans, like most Central and South Americans and East Asians, are skilled at avoiding confrontations and situations that involve a loss of face, but this is still something your new manager has to learn. Until he does, try not to take his criticism personally .

No no Letter 72

FROM THE U.S. ABOUT INDONESIA

I found it very difficult working in Indonesia because I couldn t get a straight answer to a straight question, and this often led to misunderstandings. As far as I could see, they often said yes when they meant no . Why?

Most Indonesians find it hard to give a straightforward no to a request. If you ask for something to be done that is difficult or even impossible , your Indonesian colleague, instead of saying no or sorry , may say instead that he will try. Also, a promise to do something that keeps getting postponed can be another indirect way of refusing a request. There is no intention to deceive, but simply a wish to avoid situations leading to open disagreement or disappointment that would cause you to lose face. And bear in mind that people from cultures with this indirect communication style are perfectly well understood by each other. They are simply tuned in to reading between the lines in a way you are not.

This communication pattern is not confined to Indonesia. In countries as far away from Indonesia as Pakistan, India, and Japan the word no is regarded as impolite and is rarely heard in a business context. In Mexico and South America, too, politeness and diplomacy are valued as useful ways of avoiding conflict.

But bear in mind that speakers of English can be indirect sometimes too. If invited to a party they don t want to attend , the vast majority of English speakers will say they have a cold rather than admit that they re planning to spend the evening in front of the TV. This is just another variation on the white lie theme, and as such is remarkably similar to the indirect response you mentioned in your question.

LETTERS 73 “75

It s easy to create the wrong impression if you choose an inappropriate communication style ”and what is inappropriate is in the ear of the listener.

Aggressive Letter 73

FROM SWEDEN ABOUT FRANCE

I find it extremely difficult to discuss business with the French. It is impossible to talk about things with them calmly and sensibly. They are very critical of any ideas that they have not originated themselves, but take any criticism of their own plans personally and get angry .

If you come from a country like Sweden, where open conflict is frowned on, you may find the French debating style very aggressive. For the French, a love of words is combined with a liking for verbal combat, and they are used to organizing their case logically and presenting their arguments with force and conviction , not necessarily because they believe in them, but because they consider that it is through argument and counter-argument that you will eventually arrive at the truth or the best solution to a problem. And if you don t, the debate has been an enjoyable chance to flex your intellectual muscles anyway!

However, the bad feelings that may result from such spectacular clashes will usually quickly be forgotten, which is also hard for people from more low-key cultures to understand. Of course, the French are not alone in their love of discussion. Greeks, Israelis, Argentineans, and Poles all enjoy a good debate too, and North Americans and Australians are no shrinking violets when it comes to putting their points forward. For the French and Australians in particular, debate is a way of taking the measure of a new acquaintance.

In your particular case, at a meeting with the French you should emphasize the most important points of your argument and repeat them patiently. Don t get tied up with details or try to score debating points. Instead, focus on the most important points you want to achieve and keep the meeting focused on them. Be very well prepared, and if in a corner, be ready to use a weapon to which the French have no defense ”silence.

Patronizing Pommie Letter 74

FROM AUSTRALIA ABOUT THE U.K.

We have a new boss from the U.K. with one of the most affected upper-class English accents I have ever heard. Every time he opens his mouth I can just see him at the Queen s garden party in a tuxedo and top hat. I just can t take him seriously, and I wonder how he expects to communicate with the other guys in the company.

For historical reasons an upper-class English accent in Australia is associated with money and power, and the use and misuse of both. Australia is a proud new multiethnic country and many Aussies find reminders of their colonial past, that includes the accent of the former ruling class, embarrassing and even painful.

But it s true that this particular type of British accent (RP, which is short for Received Pronunciation) is linked to a certain powerful social group in a way that different U.S. regional accents are not. It also continues to be an accent that dominates the boardrooms of many companies. Even in England itself people with strong regional accents may associate RP with snobbery and privilege, which is why younger members of the upper classes try to tone it down a bit. But give your boss a chance. It would be unfair to judge how well he s likely to do his job on the basis of his vowel sounds!

Just making conversation Letter 75

FROM BRITAIN ABOUT JAPAN

I met several Japanese businesspeople who visited Britain recently, and I tried to be pleasant and help them relax. I told a few jokes that seemed to go down well, but I later heard that they hadn t been appreciated. Yet at the time everyone laughed!

Your mistake was to treat your visitors as if they were from your own country. I m sure this was done from the best of motives, but it is a mistake to assume that every culture shares the same kind of humor. Just because your Japanese visitors laughed didn t necessarily mean that they found your joke funny ”people from different cultures tend to laugh at different things. Research about what people of different nationalities find funny concluded that the Irish, British, Australians, and New Zealanders thought that jokes involving word play were funniest. Canadians and U.S.

Americans preferred jokes where there was a sense of superiority ”either because a person looked stupid or was made to look stupid by another person. Many European countries, like France, Denmark, and Belgium, liked rather surreal jokes and jokes about serious topics like death and illness .

You don t say whether you told your jokes during a business meeting or after work in the pub. However, in many countries humor is confined to non-work situations, and joking in an important meeting, for example, is seen as a sign that you are not treating the subject (or the individual) with respect. This would certainly apply to Germany and Finland as well as Japan, where humor when business matters were being discussed would be regarded as inappropriate. And of course it might well be that your visitors didn t understand your English but did not want to lose face by showing it, because even if you are fluent in a foreign language, jokes are always the last things you understand.

Finally, you need to know that people from East Asian countries as widely apart as Japan, South Korea, and Thailand may laugh if embarrassed or nervous as well as when they re happy.

LETTERS 76 “77

Rudeness may be what the listener hears, rather than what the speaker intends.

Rude, or just informal? Letter 76

FROM DENMARK ABOUT DENMARK

In Denmark we tend to communicate in an informal way and consequently leave out titles like Mr. or Dr. We also like to communicate directly rather than beating about the bush. But I know this isn t the case in other cultures and wondered just how rude we are perceived to be.

It depends where you re going and who you re meeting. In Northern Europe, Australia, and the U.S., communication styles are quite relaxed and informal, and people take pride in talking to both manual workers and top managers in more or less the same way. They also tend to be rather pragmatic in their understanding of what language is for ” generally it s to get things done. So they say clearly what they mean so the message comes over loud and clear. This group won t regard your informal and direct style as at all rude.

In other cultures, however, what you say may be secondary to how you say it, and the British, along with the Arabs and people from many Asian cultures, put a lot of weight on how the message is delivered. Words are regarded as an important way of establishing and building relationships, not simply a tool for getting things done. If your tone is wrong and you are perceived as rude, people from these cultures can take offense, and, for example, not using the right titles for an individual can be regarded as a sign of disrespect.

As a general rule, it s better to err on the side of formality when communicating with people of other nationalities, even if you ve worked together for quite some time. Words define your relationship with an individual, and if you want to ensure that the relationship is one of mutual respect, your communication style must reflect that.

Let me finish! Letter 77

FROM SOUTH AFRICA ABOUT ITALY

I travel often in Italy and in other Mediterranean countries, and I find it very irritating to be constantly interrupted . What can I do to stop this?

The short answer is ”not a lot. What you as a South African would call a rude interruption, nationals from Southern European countries may regard as perfectly acceptable. They may instead see an interruption as an expression of interest and involvement in what the speaker is saying and in his or her ideas. In short, in countries such as Italy, if you wait for a pause in the conversation in order to present your own point of view, you ll never open your mouth! You ll find that the nationals of these countries interrupt each other too, so don t take it personally. This is because silence does not have an important role in the communication patterns of most Latin countries. Indeed, the tempo of conversation may simply be too fast to allow for a pause between speakers.

If you are interrupted in the middle of a presentation, don t show annoyance but say that you ll deal with the points raised at the end of your talk; don t let yourself be thrown off track. If the interruption occurs in the middle of an informal meeting, accept that this is regarded as a legitimate way of raising relevant points and practice your debating skills.

LETTERS 78 “79

When to remain silent is a decision we make almost unconsciously when operating in our own culture. But in another culture this decision may be interpreted in a way we don t expect.

Struck dumb Letter 78

FROM POLAND ABOUT SOUTH KOREA

During my recent trips to South Korea I have built up a good relationship with an engineer of about my own age who works in my own area of expertise. He speaks good English, and we have had a number of informal meetings where we ve made tentative decisions about some technical developments. However, when his boss is present he hardly ever opens his mouth, even though this manager has to use an interpreter and does not have a technical background.

It is quite usual in South Korea, and neighboring Japan, that a younger employee will be quiet in front of older managers as a sign of respect. It would be regarded as immodest to display his superior knowledge of English or the technical matter at hand in front of his boss. This manager will not be directly involved in the technical side of things, but will want to know a little about you personally and see you in action so he can come to some conclusion about whether you and the company you represent are likely to make good working partners .

Small talk versus silence Letter 79

FROM FINLAND ABOUT THE U.K.

We hear a lot about the importance of small talk when doing business with the British. But if you don t have anything particular to say, why should you keep on talking? Surely it makes more sense to keep your mouth shut.

In cultures where conversation is an art form, as in France and Italy, a firmly shut mouth may be equated with a firmly shut mind. You may be regarded as rude if you are not prepared to make an effort to get to know your counterparts on a personal rather than simply on a business level. However, you are not the only one to find this need for small talk diffi-cult. In addition to Finns, Swedes and Norwegians also have a problem with it. In your cultures silence is accepted as a part of conversation in a way it is not in many others (although the Japanese are more like you in their acceptance of silence). To many Europeans and Americans, general social conversation is a prelude to more serious discussions and is regarded as a way of getting to know your colleague before you get down to brass tacks.

If you are stuck about what to talk about, non- controversial topics are best to start with. In 1758, Samuel Johnson wrote, It is commonly observed that when two Englishmen meet, their first talk is of the weather. Some things just don t change, and not only the English find this subject a useful icebreaker with strangers. Other useful subjects are the journey to the meeting, sports, and questions about your visitor s hometown or area, but the real secret is to relax and allow yourself to show you are interested in your partner and what he or she has to say. Feel free to ask questions, as long as they don t get too personal. People usually enjoy talking about themselves. Neither should you be afraid to talk about yourself and your own interests. Conversation is like dancing the tango (surprisingly, perhaps, this is very popular in Finland) in that it needs practice. It also requires sensitivity to what your partner is feeling and anticipation of the next move.

LETTER 80

Giving presentations at home can be bad enough, but speaking to people of other cultures can be even harder.

Political correctness Letter 80

FROM AUSTRALIA ABOUT THE U.S.

I ve just returned from the U.S. where I gave a number of lectures on a technical matter. During one of my talks I used the expression to call a spade a spade. One of my listeners raised his hand and said that he found the expression offensive ”he had taken it as a racist comment! Is this political correctness run wild?

To put it bluntly, yes it is. The expression to call a spade a spade simply means to describe something truthfully and honestly. However, in the U.S. spade is a derogatory term for a black person; it comes from the expression as black as the ace of spades. Your listener obviously confused the two.

When you speak in public on any subject, it is simple good manners to ensure that what you say does not unintentionally offend any particular group, hurt their feelings, or show them disrespect, especially if this group has been given a hard time by society at large over the years: women, black people, homosexuals, and handicapped people are some groups that spring to mind. It s obvious that people belonging to these groups are just as deserving of consideration and courtesy as the traditional top dogs ”white heterosexual able-bodied males.

However, this respect for the dignity of others should not stop you from getting your own message across. The term political correctness has unfortunately come to be associated with a holier than thou attitude, and some North Americans use it to beat less politically correct fellow citizens over the head. Luckily, it is primarily a North American phenomenon , but one that the rest of us should be aware of when we have contact with Canadians or U.S. Americans.

IN A NUTSHELL: What to say and how to say it

GLOBAL BUSINESS STANDARDS

Good small talk topics:

Weather is always safe, although boring, especially in countries that don t have a lot!

Sports are usually safe too, unless the city or country has suffered a spectacular defeat in the national sport recently.

The art and cultural history of the country is usually safe (but watch out for any historical discussion that can lead to a political debate).

GLOBAL WARNINGS

No swearing in your own or any other language.

Keep humor to a minimum until you are sure your partners/guests laugh at the same things as you.

Don t comment negatively about another culture ” especially on religion, politics, or sexual matters. (Occasionally requests for information on the first two may be interpreted favorably, but be careful.)

 

• Argentina: People like to express opinions and love to debate. Voices may be louder than elsewhere in South America. (See Letters 70, 71, 72, 73, 77, and 79.)

• Australia: People enjoy talking and debating. There is an informal style of communication that is not based on hierarchy. (See Letters 73, 74, 75, 76, and 80.)

• Austria: Communication within companies is inhibited by departmental and hierarchical boundaries. There is a direct yet formal communication style. May be an adversarial approach to debate among peers. (See Letter 69.)

• Belgium: Communication within companies is inhibited by departmental and hierarchical boundaries. French speakers adversarial style in discussions may appear very negative or aggressive. Flemish speakers are more low-key. (See Letters 69 and 75.)

• Brazil: Relatively personal questions (in more reserved cultures) about income, age, and so on are acceptable. Emotions are expressed openly. (See Letters 70, 71, 72, 77, and 79.)

• Canada: There are different communication styles depending on whether you are in English- or French-speaking Canada. (See U.K. and France.) (See Letters 68, 73, 75, and 80.)

• China: Personal questions about income, age, and so on are acceptable. Ordinary conversations can be loud and may sound unintentionally rude or angry. (See Letters 68, 70, and 71.)

• Denmark: Informal communication style is the norm. (See Letters70, 75, and 76.)

• Finland: Small talk is not usual. Silence is accepted. The verbal style is very quiet and restrained. (See Letters 70, 75, and 76.)

• France: Communication within companies is inhibited by departmental and hierarchical boundaries. Adversarial style in discussions may appear to outsiders to be very negative or aggressive. (See Letters 68, 69, 70, 73, and 75.)

• Germany: Communication within companies may be inhibited by departmental and hierarchical boundaries. There is a direct yet formal communication style. Adversarial style in discussions may appear very negative or aggressive. Negative messages are given directly; tact is not a priority. (See Letters 69, 71, and 75.)

• Hong Kong: Personal questions about income, age, and so on are acceptable. Ordinary conversations can be loud, and may sound unintentionally rude or angry. (See Letters 68, 70, and 71.)

• India: Personal questions about income, age, and so on are acceptable. In these high context cultures a straight no is regarded as rude. Explanations and communication styles may be indirect. (See Letters 68 and 72.)

• Indonesia: Quiet, calm polite conversation style is the norm. This is also appreciated in others. (See Letters 68, 71, and 72.)

• Italy: Overlapping conversational style is the norm. Interruptions are not regarded negatively. Emotions are expressed openly. (See Letters 69, 70, 77, and 79.)

• Japan: Deference to senior and older colleagues (when present) may inhibit Japanese from communicating. Self-consciousness about their English may be another inhibiting factor. There is an oblique and indirect communication style and modesty is important. A straight no is regarded as rude. (See Letters 70, 71, 72, 75, 78, and 79.)

• Mexico: There is an indirect communication style. Direct confrontation is avoided. It s important to save face. (See Letters 67, 68, 70, 71, 72, 77, and 79.)

• Netherlands: People have a rather blunt and straightforward speaking style and are quite informal.

• Norway: There is an informal and direct communication style. Silence is an accepted part of communication. (See Letters 70, 76, and 79.)

• Poland: People enjoy debate and discussions. Politeness and formality are quite important. (See Letter 73.)

• Russia: The first response to any question is usually no , but persistence is often rewarded. It is important for Russians not to lose face in discussions. They may show disagreement or anger quite openly.

• Saudi Arabia: Ordinary conversations can be loud and may sound unintentionally rude or angry to outsiders. Emotions are expressed openly. (See Letters 68 and 76.)

• South Africa: Lots of sports analogies (from rugby, cricket, etc.) used. Different ethnic groups use different communication styles. (See Letter 77.)

• South Korea: When getting to know you, people may ask personal questions, but they are not intending to be rude. (See Letters 71, 75, and 78.)

• Spain: A straight no is regarded as rude. Explanations and communication styles may be indirect. (See Letters 69, 70, 77, and 79.)

• Sweden: Communication across hierarchical boundaries is common. Written communication in English may sound brusque, even rude, because of first language interference. Silence is an accepted part of communication. (See Letters 69, 70, 73, 76, and 79.)

• Switzerland: Humor has little place in business. German speakers will not make small talk, but French and Italian speakers will.

• Taiwan: See China.

• Thailand: There is a very tactful communication style, and heated debates are not popular. (See Letters 71 and 75.)

• Turkey: People may be reluctant to say no . It is more important to be polite than to be accurate or clear. (See Letters 69 and 70.)

• UK: Small talk is an important social skill. Humor is used widely to defuse tension and to create positive social contacts. People are judged according to how they use language. An oblique style, including understatement or irony, may be used. (See Letters 69, 70, 74, 75, 76, and 79.)

• US: Political correctness (and good manners) means that you should be very careful how you express yourself. This applies to all references to gender, age, race, religion, or sexual orientation. Communication is generally direct and explicit. (See Letters 67, 68, 69, 71, 72, 73, 75, 76, and 80.)

• Venezuela: People like to debate but rarely admit they are wrong or do not know something. (See Letters 70, 71, 72, 77, and 79.)