What We Think Conditions Our Approach

The other party in a negotiation often exercises more authority, not because they have it in reality, but simply because they think they have it. We can make this worse by allowing ourselves to believe that our counterpart has more strength than they have. When we do that, we compound the strength they already feel.

Your counterpart, whoever they are, can appear more powerful. Maybe because you feel insecure. Perhaps because they have the ability to pay you or supply something you badly need. The reality is often the reverse: they need what you can offer, the problems you can overcome, the opportunities you can create, the obstacles you can remove, the preferences you can satisfy.

We must build and enhance our authority in negotiation. How you see it determines your outcome. The old adage 'Seeing is believing' applies here. Authority and confidence stem from our own perception. The authority you carry in a negotiation is largely based on your confidence. It is a reflection of your state of mind but it is real and has real effect on the outcome.

Confidence is a key. If you lose your own confidence, the counterpart will intuitively pick that up, and you will end the negotiation in a much weaker position than you need to. Tactics therefore need to be clear before you go into the negotiation. If your counterpart perceives a loss of confidence, you won't regain the high ground.

Authority comes from confidence. Our sources of confidence come from the preparation phase: thinking through all the advantages we have to offer, thinking through all the gaps in the weaknesses of the other party. We strengthen our mind and strengthen our position. To aid us in this process we need to assess and build our authority.