Rule 29: Negotiate the Opening and Closing Ceremonies, but Leave the Games to Others

Overview

SNAPSHOT

Are you a good negotiator?

Yes: 40 percent

No: 60 percent

When I wrote the question, "Are you a good negotiator?" I expected to hear one invincible executive after the other tell me war stories of negotiations in which they had gotten everything they wanted and bled the other side dry. I expected confidence—even cockiness. I got a little of that, but not very much. The majority of top professionals with whom I discussed the issue of negotiations said that they did not like negotiating, and a majority of those said that they did not think they were very good at it. "I am never as good a negotiator as I want to be," says Dave Ruf—the entrenched, tough, and well-liked CEO of Burns & McDonnell. "When I get done, I always wonder how much I left on the table," he added. In fact, Mr. Ruf joked that "if both sides don't like it, it is probably the right deal." Not the kind of statements that you would expect of this selfconfident ex-musician who toured the country and performed on the "Today" show when he was fourteen years old.

Ruf's counterpart at Parsons Brinckerhoff, Tom O'Neill, candidly stated, "Actually, I don't think I am good at negotiating. I am too honest and I like to get to the point. Negotiations drag on." Other top executives said virtually the same thing. Even the respected and successful Senator John Danforth, who sometimes represents companies in ethical dilemmas, lamented that the government "always seems to get the better of me when I am trying to work out a deal." His clients do not feel that way—they love him and the results he gets. But, like so many other accomplished executives, he feels that way.

Is it true that top executives not only dislike negotiating but also are bad at it? Certainly, they do not like it. Top executives express their disdain for negotiating with conviction and sincerity. However, after talking to colleagues of these leaders, I have concluded with a high degree of confidence that invincible executives are much better at negotiating than they might admit or even believe. Most of them have had great success in building their organizations since they have been in positions of power, and you do not expand a business or similar organization without negotiating favorable relationships with customers, suppliers, joint venturers, and takeover targets. So, assuming, therefore, that leading professionals are better negotiators than they let on, why don't they like negotiating deals?