What could go wrong

The coachee didn t know that you had been asked to coach him or her and therefore wonders why you are arranging a meeting.

Discounting the option that the coachee is ˜in denial , that is, he or she has been told, but tells you that this hasn t happened , the most usual situation is that he or she really has not been told. This might be for a variety of reasons:

The person s manager has forgotten, being very busy with other things. Poor communication and the general personal relationship between the manager and member of staff means that the manager has not initiated the conversation, because he or she is unsure how to, or prefers not to.

The manager wants to abdicate all responsibility to you, usually because he or she fears the reaction of the staff member and/or this is the easy option.

The solution is the same for any of the reasons listed and is formed from the desire to maintain the relationship with the coachee. Talk about what coaching is, how you got involved, the potential benefits for the coachee and what the process will involve “ then ask the coachee if he or she is happy to proceed. If the coachee is happy to go on, then you can continue with the meeting.

If the coachee is not happy, it is not possible to proceed. You can ask some questions such as, ˜What could we do to make you more comfortable with this? or ˜Why do you think your manager suggested this? Fundamentally, however, coaching is a two-way relationship and if one party does not wish to participate you cannot be successful. Together you will need to agree how this decision is communicated to the line manager; either the coachee talks to the manager, you talk to the manager or you talk to him or her together. Wherever possible it is good to encourage the coachee to take responsibility and own his or her own decisions; therefore the ideal is to get the coachee to talk to his or her line manager. Follow up with both parties afterwards to review the situation and check that both parties are still happy.

The coachee doesn t agree to your ground rules .

The whole point of ground rules is to get agreement about how you will work together. You need to use your negotiation and influencing skills to arrive at an agreed position. Probe to establish the underlying reasons why some ground rules are acceptable and others are not “ often this is about perception and understanding of the language that is being used. Remember that your disagreement may arise from some of your own personal beliefs, so ask yourself ˜Is it really that important on this occasion and, if so, why?

Your existing relationship may get in the way.

Given that you may be the coachee s line manager, are you the right person for the coachee to share his or her fears and doubts with? Can you maintain the role of coach no matter what the coachee tells you? Line managers can be very effective coaches by being clear about the purpose of their actions and explaining this to the member of staff. What gets in the way, if you are the person s line manager as well as the coach, is the coachee s concern that you are criticizing or telling him or her off. As coach, you need to be very honest at the start of each meeting about what the purpose of the discussion is and what role you are taking. Therefore, we recommend that if you are offering coaching to overcome a poor performance situation, you separate the giving of feedback from the start of the coaching process. Another solution here may be to find another coach from within or outside the organization.

The coachee doesn t want to be coached or sees it as a bad reflection on his or her abilities .

Your role here is to ˜sell the concept of coaching and to explain the developmental nature of the process. It is useful here to be able to explain the concept of continuous development “ that however good we are already, we should always strive for future development. Perhaps give examples of when you have coached or been coached in the past and how it has helped.