Advice From John Gray on First Dates

Here's a tip from John Gray about what to do when you first meet someone:

"The first and most important step is to take into consideration what that person wants, what that person is thinking and feeling. Step out of your own shoes for a moment. Men and women approach situations differently, right from the first date.

"The man wants to impress the woman; he wants to put his best foot forward. So he does what he would do at a job interview, where he wants to impress the boss. He gives his resume. He talks about himself. At a job interview, they want to hear all about you, and that's how you try to impress them. But on a date that doesn't work.

"Meanwhile, she's trying to impress him. And the way women impress men is by being a good listener. He's talking about himself; she's being a good listener and asking lots of questions. The result is that by the end of the date, she's thinking, 'This guy only thinks about himself. He talked about himself all night, and never asked anything about me!' And the man is thinking, 'She didn't say anything at all. I thought she was interesting, but she didn't have anything to say!'"

So, in order to make this date successful, both the man and the woman have to change their behavior a bit. He's got to stop talking and do some more listening; she's got to stop asking so many questions and offer up some information about herself.