When the Worst Happens

We’ve already alluded to some of the learning this passage affords, from resiliency to self-knowledge. Let’s look at some more specific knowledge you can glean from this passage that will increase your leadership intelligence:

• Recognition that “playing the game” may result in losing. In some companies, people advance who please everyone and offend no one. They assume that if they satisfy the system, they’ll be successful. This is often true, to a point, but outstanding leaders manage the tendency, if they have it, to try to please and satisfy everyone. Instead, they say, do, and convey what they believe is right, working to manage conflict with others who disagree. Being passed over or forced to leave a company can initiate a new way of thinking about the requirements of leadership: attempting to satisfy others is not leadership. As one very well-known and outstanding CEO said to us recently, looking back on the moment early in his career when he was fired, “That was when I started to think for myself.”

• Knowledge of how to build your survivor muscles. Getting passed over or fired is a more common occurrence today than ever before. The best leaders learn how to make it through this passage with their self-esteem and relationships intact. Instead of burning bridges by venting their rage at a boss, they remain professional throughout a difficult time. They become survivors who live to fight another day. Surviving downturns, technological changes, financial crises, and unexpected events besides being fired is a skill all leaders need, especially at senior levels.

• Understanding of how to add another layer of depth. All the passages deepen you as a leader, but this is the one where you are most likely to become more thoughtful, empathetic, and insightful. Someone once said that how much we learn is directly related to how much we suffer, and this adage applies here. Being fired from a job you love is gut-wrenching. Up until this point, you may have never experienced anything at work or in your career that has caused you so much anguish. The suffering makes you think and feel in ways you’ve never thought and felt before. At the time this happens, it’s painful. Later on, though, it gives you a sense of perspective about work and appreciation for what other people are going through. Be open to the painful thoughts and feelings, and you’ll develop into the type of well-rounded leader that someone who has never lost a job can’t be.

Of all the professional passages, this is one where it’s most difficult to see the opportunity hidden by the adversity. Trust us; it exists, and we have the stories of hundreds of executives to prove it. Perceived failure is a powerful catalyst for change. If you are patient, reflective, and willing to talk about this difficult experience, development as a leader emerges.